Hercules smiled, shaking his head, as he watched Iolaus practically bounce along beside him as they walked. The hunter was regaling Hercules with a tale the demigod was sure got more embellished each time it was told. Iolaus had his sheathed sword in hand and made jabs at an imaginary monster. He'd just brought the sword up into a "killing" arc when Hercules stopped the motion with a quick hand.
The smaller man hesitated, pausing to look questionably at his friend. Hercules had halted in the middle of the dusty road, head cocked as if he was listening. Iolaus listened, too, then heard the sounds that Hercules' more acute ears had picked up earlier: sounds of shouting, arguing, swords clashing.
Quickly, the two warriors raced up the road and around the slight bend to find a single wagon under attack. One man, armed with a sword, was desperately trying to hold off a band of six darkly dressed bandits. A woman and little girl, probably the man's wife and daughter, sat in the wagon, watching fearfully as he fought. A small boy darted from behind the wagon and began hitting one of the bandits with a thick stick. The accosted thief grabbed the boy by the back of his tunic collar and tossed him aside.
With a quick glance at each other, Hercules and Iolaus ran towards the wagon, Iolaus pulling his sword out, tossing aside the empty scabbard. They saw one of the highwaymen disarm the man under attack, shove him roughly against the wagon then raise his own sword. Iolaus let out a loud Eastern war cry as he charged the nearest bandit, plowing shoulder-first into the man's back. The blow effectively knocked the surprised bandit to the ground.
Hercules grabbed the one about to make the killing thrust and easily tossed him into the surrounding brush. He quickly turned to face another of the thieves who had pulled a dagger and slashed at the bigger man. The demigod stopped the man's hand mid-slash, plucked the dagger from the hand and threw it aside. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not safe to play with sharp objects?" he retorted as he blocked a kick, using the momentum to trip the bandit.
Iolaus dispatched the highwayman coming up behind him with a quick elbow thrust to the man's stomach, then twisted slightly to punch him in the face for good measure. The man dropped.
The bandit Iolaus had stunned earlier scooped up his fallen comrade's sword and met the hunter face to face. He swung the sword in a couple of 360 degree arcs as he approached Iolaus, who backed a couple of cautionary steps, his own sword held in readiness.
"Well, c'mon, runt!" the bandit taunted, brandishing his sword at the smaller man.
"Uh-oh," Hercules warned as he held the tunic of a highwayman in each hand, "you shouldn't have called him that!" He knocked the two men together, stunning them, then let them drop to the ground. Turning, he saw the others had made a hasty retreat; the two he had just taken out stumbled to their feet and followed unsteadily.
Keeping a wary eye on Iolaus and his opponent, Hercules stepped over to the wagon's owner, who was clutching his leg. The boy was kneeling next to his father; both were watching the final confrontation.
The bandit was swinging his sword, making thrusts that had Iolaus on the defensive and backing. He laughed aloud, then darted forward, bringing the weapon in a downward arc. Iolaus easily parried the move, then kicked his opponent in his exposed abdomen. When the man doubled over in pain, Iolaus brought his knee up into the man's face. The other staggered back, but quickly recovered, raising his head to reveal a bloodied nose and fire in his eyes.
With an audible growl, he charged the warrior. Iolaus held his own admirably, meeting the thief blow for blow. Seeing the man was tiring, the hunter smiled inwardly. He feigned to the right. As the bandit moved to block the move, Iolaus punched him in the face, then again. He grabbed the staggering bandit by the tunic collar and pushed him into the brush alongside the road, a boot to the man's behind helping him along.
"All right!" the boy cheered.
"That'll teach him to call *me* 'runt'!" Iolaus commented as he approached his friend and the rescued family. The man's wife and daughter had joined the three on the ground during Iolaus' fight.
Hercules was checking the man's leg, then looked up at the anxious faces around him. "His leg is broken."
They quickly got the man's leg straightened, set and splinted. As Hercules helped him to the back of the wagon, the husband said, "Thank you, good strangers. It's not often someone will get themselves involved in a fight not their own."
"Well, we're pretty good at that," Iolaus remarked.
"Name's Barnus," he introduced. "This is my wife, Talia, my son, Thelmius, and my daughter, Chloe."
Hercules gripped the man's forearm in a warrior's handshake. "Glad we could help, Barnus. I'm Hercules and this is my best friend, Iolaus."
Barnus nodded at the demigod then exchanged handshakes with the blond hunter. "You certainly know how to handle that sword, Iolaus!"
"Thanks." Iolaus grinned, pleased someone actually noticed he had even done anything. Not that he begrudged Hercules any of the glory; it was just nice not to be the invisible partner for a change.
Excited, Thelmius jumped down from the wagon. "Wow! Hercules saved us! Wait'll I tell my friends!"
"Now, Thelmius, his friend, Iolaus, helped, too!"
"Yeah, I know," the boy answered, a little less enthusiastically.
"Barnus," Talia replied, putting a hand on her husband's arm, "I don't think you should travel with that broken leg."
"I'll be fine, Talia," Barnus insisted. "Besides, we have to take Chaos to Atrius."
"You really shouldn't be on that leg too much," Hercules said. Iolaus smiled when he noticed the triumphant look on Talia's face. The demigod noticed, too, so he asked, "Is there something we can do?"
Before her husband could answer, Talia replied, "Yes, if it isn't out of your way."
Barnus gave her an exasperated look, but wisely said nothing to her. To the two warriors, however, he said, "We were going to deliver something to my brother Atrius. He lives in Thrice."
Hercules glanced at his partner, who shrugged *What the heck?* "I don't see any problem. We're not going any particular place; a trip to Thrice would do as well as anywhere."
"Well, okay, then," Barnus pointed to a large pouch in the wagon bed. Chloe reached in and grabbed it by the carrystrap, then sat down next to her father. The bag moved. Curious, the partners stepped closer for a better look.
"Hey!" Iolaus cried happily as a small, furry head suddenly poked out of the carry-sack. "What's this?"
Chloe smiled, reaching into the sack and pulling out a long, furred, weasel-like creature. "It's a ferret."
"A ferret?"
"Yes," Barnus replied, "they use them in Egypt to hunt rats and mice." He gently took the ferret from his daughter's hands. As he spoke, he stroked the brown fur of the ferret that wiggled in his grasp. The ferret had dark guardhairs with a white undercoat. A mask of black fur stretched across its all-black eyes, giving it the appearance of a small thief. "They can get into small places" he scruffed the animal by the neck, much like a mother cat would hold one of its kittens, and held it up, indicating the long, slender body, "that cats can't. We were on the way to visit my brother so he could try using him to eliminate his mouse problem."
Iolaus automatically held out his hands when Barnus scruffed the small animal, prepared to catch it if it fell. "Doesn't that hurt the ferret?" he queried, concerned.
"What? This?" Barnus gestured to the now-limp ferret. "Nah, holding them by the scruff like this makes them very relaxed." As he spoke, the sable ferret yawned mightily, giving the two warriors a very good look at his teeth and sharp canines.
"Huh," the hunter snorted, smiling slightly as he glanced up at his partner. "That's interesting."
"It's a good way to hold them if they get too wiggly," Chloe giggled. She retrieved the animal from her father and stroked its fur. The ferret appeared to come back to life upon being released and snuffled the girl's dress.
"So, this is it?" Hercules asked, smiling as he watched the girl and ferret. He reached down to stroke the soft fur. The ferret instantly turned its attentions to this new person, sniffing his hand, then working its way up to the gauntlet. "You want us to deliver this ferret to your brother Atrius in Thrice?"
"Yes, if you could," Barnus answered. "His name is Chaos. Don't worry, he's very friendly and knows this sack is his home away from home."
"Well, I think we can handle a ferret, don't you, Herc?"
"I should hope so," the demigod answered, then turned to Barnus. "We'd be glad to help. You just get yourself looked after and we'll see this ferret to his new home."
"Thank you so much!" Barnus smiled. "Talia can drive the team back to our village." He lifted Chaos, then dropped him gently into the pouch and secured the flap. He handed the pouch to Iolaus, who gently swung the strap over his shoulder. He could feel the ferret moving around inside the pouch.
"What do they eat?"
"You heard the man earlier," Hercules couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease his friend, "mice. You're going to have to set some mighty small snares."
Barnus laughed at the look of distress that crossed the hunter's features. "Fear not, Iolaus, they will eat anything you do; though raw meat is probably best. Rabbit, venison, whatever you bring down. They are also very good at bolting rabbits from their holes."
"That could have possibilities," Iolaus agreed.
"Indeed. Feel free to try him during your travels. Set a net snare at one hole and send him down another."
"What's the fun in that?" Hercules muttered, so low only Iolaus heard him. "The mighty hunter needing help to catch dinner?"
Iolaus cleared his throat hastily to keep from laughing. The son of Zeus knew how much Iolaus enjoyed the hunt, the challenge of pitting his mind against the creatures of the wild. To Barnus, he replied respectfully, "I'll keep it in mind." He exchanged a warrior's handshake with the man before turning to the boy. "Goodbye, Thelmius, you watch your father's back, okay?"
"Yes, sir!"
Hercules exchanged farewells with the family, then they started down the road that led east towards their destination.
A short while later, Iolaus could feel Chaos moving around in the pouch, then frantic scratching against his back through the material.
"Hey, forget it back there!" the golden-haired warrior scolded. "It won't work!"
Hercules gave his partner a strange look. "Who are you talking to?"
"Furface," Iolaus gestured to the bag. "He's trying to get out."
"Can't say I blame him."
"I can't say I do, either, but I don't know how else we can carry him."
After a few more steps, the clawing ceased. Figuring the little furball had finally settled down again, Iolaus quickly put the incident out of his mind. Seconds later, he felt something scramble up his left shoulder, then something small and wet touch his neck.
With a startled cry, Iolaus whirled, dipping his left shoulder to dislodge whatever-it-was that was on it. He automatically pulled his sword to readiness, backing a couple steps, prepared to take on whatever had attacked him.
Hercules reacted to his friend's swift movements, bringing his hands up to attack position as he spun. A quick survey of the surrounding area found nothing that looked immediately dangerous. The demigod relaxed his stance slightly. Before he could question the hunter, however, a movement drew his attention towards Iolaus' feet. Hercules began to laugh.
"What? Where?" Iolaus shot searching looks around him, golden hair flying as he quickly turned his head, before he spotted Chaos on the ground. The ferret shook out its dark fur, then immediately began to snuffle the area around him.
Iolaus' face tinged pink as he realized his error. "Well, he climbed up my shoulder and stuck his nose against my neck!" he explained. "What was I suppose to think?"
The hunter glanced sheepishly into his friend's laughing eyes. The amusement was catching and he began to chuckle. He sheathed his sword, then bent down to scoop up the errant critter. The ferret scampered out of his reach, backing swiftly, tail fur puffed out like a bottlebrush. As Iolaus crouched and adjusted his aim, Chaos jumped into the air, twisting his body to evade capture and darted around Iolaus.
"Hey, now, c'mon!" the blond scolded, turning on the balls of his feet to follow the ferret's bouncing movements. Chaos, it seemed, had suddenly developed springs in his paws and rubber in his bones, for he jumped up and down and twisted in seemingly impossible configurations as he eluded capture by The Hand.
Hercules tried to stifle his laughter as he watched his best friend attempt to recapture the leaping ferret. It was obvious to him Chaos was playing, as the little animal made no attempt to run away, but continued to dash about Iolaus' feet, hopping in and out, slapping Iolaus' hands with his front paws before darting out of reach again. The son of Zeus could hold back no longer and roared with laughter when Iolaus, in a vain attempt to grab Chaos as he raced under his legs, twisted himself off-balance and fell, with an "Oomph!", on his butt.
Iolaus gazed at his partner in disgust. "Thanks for the help!"
Hercules' laughter faded as he calmed somewhat, but he continued to chuckle as he wiped tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry, Iolaus, but that was quite a show! Maybe you should start an act!"
"Ha, ha, very funny," the golden hunter replied sarcastically, miffed that a creature that was no longer than the length of his forearm had gotten the better of him. He glanced over to see Chaos still bouncing up and down, performing tumbles and somersaults that would make any contortionist green with envy. He pointed to the ferret's antics. "Doesn't that look like some sort-of Amazon war dance?"
"More like a weasel war dance," Hercules answered.
"Yeah," Iolaus agreed with a laugh, "a Weasel War Dance."
Chaos sprinted over to the fallen human, climbing onto the hunter's right gauntlet. Iolaus slowly reached out with his left hand. The ferret caught the movement but, instead of dashing off, he raised himself up on his haunches to sniff at the incoming Hand. Iolaus allowed Chaos to sniff his hand before gently grasping him. The hunter pushed himself into a crouch, his resentment quickly dissipating as he stroked the soft fur.
Iolaus reached for his fallen pack, opened it one-handed, then pulled out a small piece of dried meat. He offered it to Chaos, who sniffed the item curiously, then began to chew on it. "Truce, okay?" Iolaus offered.
Chaos glanced up briefly at the words, then returned his attention to the food. As Chaos chewed on his prize, Iolaus opened the pouch and deposited ferret and hardened meat into it. The blond carefully dropped the flap back into place as he stood up.
Hercules' eyes were still twinkling with laughter as Iolaus composed himself. "That's a first! The mighty hunter letting something so small take him out!"
"Yeah, well, I'd've liked to have seen *you* fall on your behind!"
"I don't I could have pulled it off quite the way you did."
Iolaus chuckled as they started down the road again. "No, I suppose not. You just don't have the same kind of--"
"Knack for trouble?" Hercules retorted.
"No, flair. The word is flair," the shorter man replied. "You just don't have the same flair that I have."
"I stand corrected," the son of Zeus conceded, chuckling as they continue on down the dusty road.
The sun was nearing the horizon when they decided to camp for the night. As Hercules gathered tinder and branches for a fire, Iolaus set out to capture their dinner. He approached an obvious rabbit warren with fresh signs near one of the holes. Carefully dropping the carry-sack, Iolaus was finishing setting a snare by the hole when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Chaos scramble out of the sack, quickly sniff around then race towards another hole.
"Chaos!" he hissed. Too late. The ferret disappeared down the hole. "Wonderful!" he growled, then he remembered Barnus' words about ferrets chasing rabbits from their warrens. He backed off quickly and waited.
His vigilance paid off a few minutes later when a wild-eyed rabbit bolted from the hole and was snared. A wide grin crossed the golden hunter's face as Chaos emerged a few moments later, blinking in the fading sunlight. Shaking his head, Iolaus swiftly snatched up the small predator and turned his attention to their captured prey.
Iolaus set his nearly finished bowl of stew on the ground next to the carry-sack. He added a couple more branches to the fire and sat down again. As he turned to retrieve his bowl, he caught sight of Chaos. The ferret was half-in, half-out of the sack; he stretched his right foreleg in front of him, toes splayed widely, and yawned, pink tongue curling as he flashed his long canines. He crawled the rest of the way out of the pouch then proceeded to help himself to Iolaus' dinner.
"Hey!" Iolaus cried, snatching the bowl.
Chaos looked up at him, almost beseechingly.
"He's got to eat, Iolaus," Hercules stated, sitting on the other side of the fire. "Besides, he earned it."
"Yeah, but does he have to eat out of *my* bowl?"
"He likes you," the son of Alcmene and Zeus commented, then smiled. "He probably thinks you're his brother or something."
"Are you saying I look like a weasel?"
"Not at all," Hercules assured, "but you do both have the same, um, stature."
Iolaus gave his friend a pointed look. The hunter didn't notice Chaos had again made his way to his bowl of stew and was quietly chewing on a piece of meat. "Stature? As in short?"
"But quick, clever and very determined," Hercules quickly pointed out.
"Yeah, well, being as big as an oak tree isn't always for the best, either, my friend," Iolaus remarked. He glanced down and noticed his meal being eaten for him. "Hey!" Just before he pulled the bowl away again, he sighed. "You might as well finish it. I don't know if I want to eat something with ferret drool in it."
Hercules smiled as he wordlessly dug into their pack. He extracted another wooden bowl and tossed it over to his companion. The blond deftly caught it, extracted his spoon from the bowl Chaos was eating from, then spooned some more of the rabbit stew into the fresh bowl. He settled himself comfortably and continued eating.
A few minutes later, Chaos climbed over his leg and poked his head into Iolaus' bowl. "No, you've got your own!" the hunter scolded, holding his bowl up. The ferret sat up on his haunches, nose twitching as he regarded his out-of-reach target. Before Iolaus could react, the ferret started climbing up his vest.
"I said 'No!'" Iolaus growled, plucking the beast off his vest and setting him on the ground next to the other bowl. "Eat your own...oh, you did. Well, why didn't you say so?" As he dished out a couple more spoonfuls of stew for the ferret, he commented, "I guess you were trying to tell me." Putting the bowl on the ground, he spotted Chaos sniffing *his* dinner. Again. "Oh, no, you don't!"
He picked up the hungry animal and set him down next to his refilled bowl. "Why can't you pick on Herc, huh?" Sitting down once again, Iolaus watched as Chaos began eating. Glancing at his best friend, Iolaus remarked, "I've never seen something so small with such a big appetite!"
"You haven't looked in a mirror lately, have you?" Hercules retorted.
"Very funny."
Iolaus felt something tugging at his neck. He jerked awake, quickly rising to his elbows, turning his head in the direction of the threat. He relaxed, sighing heavily, as he saw Chaos beside him. The ferret had a grip on the leather thong attached to his amulet and was trying to tug it loose.
"Hey, I don't think so!" Iolaus scolded, shooing the beast away with a hand. Chaos jumped back, then bounced up and playfully poked his nose into Iolaus' face. "Yeah, yeah, good morning to you, too, furface," he greeted.
Chaos grabbed the amulet between his teeth and tried to run off with it, only to be thwarted when the cord held fast. He set all four paws into the dirt and pulled backwards, trying with all his ferret might to free his prize.
The hunter quickly snatched the ferret and sat up. "What did I just tell you?" He rolled his eyes. "I don't believe this! I'm arguing with a ferret!"
Iolaus heard a low chuckle. He glanced up to see Hercules adding tinder to the fire in preparation for making breakfast.
"Morning," the demigod greeted.
"How long until breakfast?" the blond warrior queried before his friend could make a crack about what had just happened. For something so small, Chaos was doing a fine job of humiliating Iolaus big time. He set Chaos on the ground.
Hercules considered. "Not long, I'm just going to reheat the stew from last night."
"Good." Iolaus rose to his full height. He shrugged out of his purple vest, dropping it unceremoniously onto the ground. He arched his back in a stretch, then commented as he began to loosen his left gauntlet, "I'm going to take a bath."
Iolaus sighed heavily as he relaxed in the lake. It felt so good to just be *clean* again! Sometimes he got tired of eating road dust, but he also knew he wouldn't trade his life for anything. Glancing over at the bank, the hunter spotted a familiar furry form sniffing his breeches. He smiled, then moved closer to the bank, reaching over to snag Chaos. He held the ferret so they were almost touching noses.
"How about a bath, furface?" Iolaus queried, then wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I think you could use one."
Firmly holding the critter with both hands, Iolaus dunked Chaos in the lake. Quickly bringing him above the surface, Iolaus laughed when Chaos shook his head, droplets of water flying everywhere. He snatched up some leftover soaproot and proceeded to scrub the ferret's coat. Chaos struggled against the bath, but Iolaus held firm, or at least as firmly as one could hold a small, wiggly, slippery, wet animal. Once Chaos escaped his grasp, but the blond quickly snatched him up before he could swim far.
Figuring Chaos was as clean as he could make him, Iolaus dunked him again. "There ya go! Nice and clean!"
He released the ferret, allowing him to swim to shore. Iolaus watched Chaos climb onto dry land. He laughed as the small animal shook himself, fur sticking up in all directions, tail fur puffed out. Turning his back to the land, Iolaus dropped smoothly under the lake's surface. When he came back up, he shook out his golden hair and smiled into the morning sun. As the hunter turned toward shore, his eyes widened in surprise as he saw Chaos disappearing into the foliage, dragging Iolaus' black breeches behind him.
"Hey! Come back here!" Iolaus scrambled onto land, his bare feet slipping on the soft mud along the shore. Regaining his footing, he dashed into the foliage. Even though he was frustrated as anything, the hunter inside him couldn't help marveling, even admiring, how quick the little animal was, especially dragging the heavy leather breeches behind him. He spotted his pants just ahead and put on a burst of speed.
So intent on getting his clothes back, Iolaus didn't realize Chaos had headed back to the campsite. Iolaus burst into the small clearing, then skidded to a halt when he saw Hercules crouched by the fire. The demigod was looking at Iolaus' breeches, now at Hercules' feet.
Suddenly remembering he was wearing nothing but his green amulet, Iolaus jumped back into some nearby bushes. He quickly arranged the branches of the bush in front of himself. He turned to face the campsite, grimacing as he watched his friend slowly reach down for the article of clothing. As if sensing the blond warrior, Hercules glanced up, straight at Iolaus.
"Lose something?" Hercules grinned, holding up the hunter's breeches, Chaos still gripping tightly to the leather.
"Just hand me the pants, will ya?" Iolaus could feel himself blushing. *Yeah, you would find this funny, Herc!*
"I could make you come and get them," Hercules answered, straight-faced.
"C'mon, Herc! It's bad enough that little furball ran off with them! Give me a break, will ya?"
The larger man laughed. "Only you, Iolaus, would get into a situation like this."
Iolaus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, toss 'em here!"
Hercules seemed to debate his decision. He stood, reaching down to get a grip on Chaos. He pried the ferret's mouth open gently, forcing him to drop the breeches. Picking up the desperately wanted article of clothing, Hercules, with deliberate slowness, walked over to the bushes where his partner hid.
"Well, you sure took your own sweet time coming over, didn't you?" Iolaus griped as he quickly snatched the pants from his friend.
"Next time, I'll make you walk over to get them, so I suggest you keep a blanket handy in case Chaos decides to play thief again."
"There won't be a 'next time,' if I have anything to say about it!" Iolaus looked at the ferret straddling Hercules' right gauntlet. "I have to admit, he certainly would make a good thief. Took what he wanted and, thwang!, he was off!"
"Maybe we should change his name to 'Autolycus,'" Hercules commented with a laugh.
Iolaus cocked his head, giving his friend an *I can't believe you just said that* look. "Please, don't insult the poor ferret!"
The demigod smiled. Turning back to the fire, he remarked, "Breakfast is ready as soon as you're decent."
For once, Iolaus figured keeping quiet was the better part of valor and said nothing.
As they prepared to break camp, Iolaus touched his belt, frowned, then scanned the area around him. Seeing his partner searching, Hercules queried, "Lose something?"
"Yeah, my belt knife. Have you seen it?"
"Not since last night. You didn't accidentally pack it away?"
"No, I wouldn't do that," Iolaus replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. "What could have happened to it?"
Hercules suddenly smiled. "I think the King of Thieves happened to it."
Iolaus' head shot up and he glanced around. "What? Autolycus?"
"No, the *other* King of Thieves," the demigod nodded.
The hunter twisted to look where his friend indicated. Chaos' carry-sack lay on the ground; the ferret's tail hung out of the sack, as did the tip of a knife. "I don't believe this!" Iolaus got down on his hands and knees and lifted the edge of the sack. Chaos lay curled inside, his head resting on the handle of Iolaus' belt knife. Black ferret eyes blinked at azure human ones.
"Sorry, furface, this isn't for you," Iolaus stated as he reached in and grabbed his knife. Chaos lifted his head and gripped the handle with his teeth. "No, Chaos! Let go!" The compact warrior shook the ferret's strong grip free, then pulled the weapon away. He began to stand as he tucked the knife back into its usual sheath. A sudden weight on his left hand made him pause and look down.
Chaos, jaws locked in a tight grip, hung off his leather gauntlet. Iolaus lifted his arm until Chaos hung straight with none of his paws touching the ground. Disbelieving, he looked up at his friend. "Do you believe this?" he gave a short bark of laughter. "I think I've been attacked."
Hercules chuckled. "Just be glad he's on our side."
"I think he's on his *own* side," Iolaus commented. He reached out with his right hand and gently grabbed the slightly swinging ferret. "Chaos, release!"
Surprisingly, Chaos instantly obeyed the command. He flopped bonelessly onto the human's hand, then sniffed the other gauntlet.
"I don't think so, my friend," Iolaus remarked, lightly dropping the small creature onto the ground. "What is with this leather fetish of yours, huh? And why me?" Turning quickly, Iolaus pointed a finger at his tall companion, who was just about to speak. "And not a word from you about brotherhood!"
Hercules spread his hands in a surrender gesture before kicking dirt over the remains of their campfire. Chaos bounced over and jumped onto the moving boot. The half-mortal smiled at the playful antics, reached down and carefully caught the ferret mid-leap. "You certainly have a love of life, little one." He stroked the dark fur as Chaos inspected his gauntlet.
Iolaus finished getting ready without any more ferret "help." He swung the carry-sack over his shoulder then held out his hands for the trouble-making critter. After a quick rub to the ferret's ears, Hercules complied, watching as Iolaus slid Chaos into his travel bag. "In you go, furface." He held open the flap and looked inside. "You know, you are nothing but trouble."
"If I remember right," Hercules commented, "your mother made the same remark about you."
"I wouldn't doubt it." Iolaus grinned.
As they left the clearing, Hercules retorted, "Come to think, I believe *my* mother made the same remark about you."
"Not Alcmene!" the hunter cried in a mock-hurt tone. "She loves me like a son!"
"And I know Jason and I have *both* said--"
"All right! All right!" Iolaus grumbled, though not angrily. "I get the idea! Sheesh!"
They continued down the road towards Thrice. The sun was warm and bright, the sky clear, everything was peaceful. The two comrades-in-arms strode at a leisurely pace, enjoying the serenity that was rarely theirs.
Iolaus felt movement in the carry-sack and figured rightfully that Chaos had awakened from his nap. This time, when he felt something climbing up the back of his vest, his only reaction was to turn his head towards the left. Chaos appeared at his shoulder. "Well, hello there," Iolaus greeted. "Come up to enjoy some fresh air?"
Chaos climbed all the way up onto the compact warrior's shoulder, claws gripping the purple fabric of the vest. The ferret stretched up to nose Iolaus' chin, then snuffled in his ear.
Iolaus instinctively ducked his head, lightly tapping the ferret's nose away from his ear. He giggled as he felt Chaos nose through the hair that hung at the nape of his neck. He stopped walking when Chaos rose to his haunches and investigated the blond locks closer to the top of his head. Only when the little animal dropped to all fours did Iolaus start walking again, at first slowly, then at more normal rate of speed when it appeared Chaos was perfectly content to hitch a ride perched on the his shoulder.
Hercules, who had silently witnessed the entire event, smiled. It seemed almost natural to see the new "accessory" to his friend's wardrobe. The demigod fell back into the pace easily and, for several klicks, the two friends strode in companionable silence. After a few cautious glances at the ferret, Hercules came to the conclusion that Chaos obviously had some past experience with shoulder-riding as the rhythm of Iolaus' stride did not unbalance the little beast in any way. In fact, the ferret paced across the back of Iolaus' neck, under the unruly locks, to the other shoulder and back again without once slipping or losing his grip.
For his part, Iolaus didn't seem to mind having Chaos riding his shoulder. The hunter turned his head, gave his partner a quick, satisfied smile then returned his attention to the dirt track in front of them. It appeared to the demigod that, whether the smaller man was aware of it or not, Iolaus was quickly developing a soft spot towards the animal. Which, Hercules had to admit, wasn't hard to do. There was something in the ferret's fearless, happy-go-lucky way of going about life that was comforting; it reminded him of the friend now by his side.
"I think there's a small village up ahead," Iolaus said, unknowingly interrupting his friend's thoughts. "Why don't we stop there for a bite to eat?"
"Sounds like a good idea," Hercules agreed, "then we find out if we're heading the right way. I think Thrice is still a couple days' travel in this direction, but I want to make sure."
"Yeah, really! Let's get this thieving furball over to his new owner as soon as we can! Who knows what else he'll try to run off with?"
Hercules smiled. For some reason, he found it hard to believe his partner really wanted to get rid of Chaos *that* badly. But, then, it was Iolaus who was getting the ferret pranks played on him.
Helios' chariot was just starting its descent in the sky when they entered the small village. It was much like the dozens of small villages they had been in over the years. Townspeople gave them no more than a cursory glance as they bustled about their daily business.
Before getting into the main section of town, Iolaus had tucked Chaos back into his travel pouch and loosely tied the flap down. He hoped this would persuade the little animal it was time for a nap and keep him out of trouble. He planned to save a small portion of his meal to feed the ferret after they got out of the tavern.
"There." Hercules gestured to a nondescript building. Iolaus nodded and paced his friend to the tavern, which had definitely seen better days.
The place wasn't too crowded, the patrons consisting mostly of natives and one or two groups of rough-looking travelers who had gotten the same idea as the duo to stop for a quick meal. Hercules left Iolaus to get settled and made his way to the long bar. Catching the tavernkeeper's attention, he asked, "What's good today?"
"Boar stew."
"For two," Hercules replied, reaching into his belt pouch for the dinars to cover the cost, "and two ales." As the man set two full tankards in front of him, he asked, "Thrice is north of here, right?"
"That's right."
"How far?"
"'Bout day and a half by foot."
Meanwhile, Iolaus unbuckled his sword and leaned it against the wall. He laid his travel sack beside the sword, both items within arms' reach. Not wanting to disturb a now settled Chaos, he hung that sack over the back of his chair. Sitting down, he saw Hercules already heading in his direction, a tray in his hands.
"Smells great!" the hunter commented, grabbing one of the large bowls and a tankard from the tray. He snatched up one of the small loaves of bread also on the tray and promptly broke it in two. "I'm starved!"
"No surprise there," Hercules commented dryly, sitting down to enjoy his own meal.
"Hey, it takes a lot of energy to keep up with you."
"And now, Chaos."
"Exactly," Iolaus nodded before taking a long gulp of his ale.
Silence between them reigned as both men hungrily tucked into their meals. They'd only gotten halfway through their bowls when suddenly a woman's scream sounded through the tavern. Hercules and Iolaus cast each other quick glances before jumping to their feet and rushing towards the sound. Iolaus noticed that while the other patrons stopped eating and looked up, nobody else seemed willing to find out what had happened.
Another shout, more angry than frightened this time, came from the back room. Both heroes vaulted over the bar, then brushed past the tavern owner who was standing in the doorway just watching whatever was going on in the smaller room. Hercules entered the room first, halting in his tracks when he saw a woman, probably the owner's wife, brandishing a thatch broom and taking swings at the floor.
Stifling a laugh, the demigod waved his friend forward. "Iolaus."
Giving his partner a confused glance, Iolaus stepped into the room. "Not again!" he groaned. He spread his arms in a surrender gesture as he looked up at his friend. "I *thought* he was asleep!"
The woman was swinging the broom at Chaos. She obviously figured the ferret was some sort-of oversized vermin and was trying to get it out of her sight. Chaos, on the other paw, was in the throes of a Weasel War Dance, jumping the inept swipes and generally having a wonderful time with the 'game.' His joyful bouncing upset the wife even more, who took more ferocious swings at the beast.
Gesturing soundlessly with one hand towards the ruckus, Hercules raised his eyebrows at the hunter. Sighing in resignation, Iolaus nodded and stepped forward. "Excuse me?" he tried unsuccessfully to get the woman's attention. "It's okay, this is Chaos!" *Yeah, no kidding!* he thought. "He's a ferret, he won't hurt you!"
She didn't seem to hear him as she took another swipe at the ferret, who quickly rolled out of the way. "Out! Out of here!" she yelled at the dodging animal.
When a lucky shot swept the ferret halfway across the room, Iolaus realized he'd have to get more involved. Chaos was having too much fun to realize he could get seriously hurt by this broom-brandishing 'warrior' woman. The hunter ducked a swing, tucking into a shoulder roll as he threw himself at the ground, snatching up the ferret as he swung back onto his feet. Still shouting, the woman swatted at him.
"Hey! I got him!" Iolaus took another blow to his back. Realizing she was not going to stop, he quickly made his way past Hercules and the barkeep to the main dining room, but only after another well-aimed blow got him in the back side. Pausing beside the bar, Iolaus retrieved Chaos from the shelter between his right arm and chest. He only had time to give the ferret a stern look before noticing all was quiet in the tavern and all eyes were on him.
Iolaus put what he hoped was a reassuring smile on his face. "Everything's all right," he remarked. "No problems."
Slowly, the room returned to its normal semblance of order as people turned back to their meals, drinks and conversation. Iolaus sighed then held up the errant critter. "You certainly live up to your name, don't you?"
"That your beast?"
Iolaus turned at the voice behind him and found himself facing the owner. He considered the question briefly. "Yeah, I guess you could say he is at this moment in time."
"Get it out of here, and you with it."
"Listen, he was just having-"
"I don't want no more trouble. Get out!"
"But-"
"*Out!*"
Hercules stepped behind the man. "Iolaus, take Chaos and go outside. I'll get our stuff and what's left of our meals." To the tavern owner, he said, "I apologize for all the trouble. We didn't mean to get your, uh, wife upset."
Iolaus turned and stalked off, not even wanting to hear what the man had to say to Hercules' apology. Holding Chaos in the crook of his arm, he quickly exited the small tavern. After a quick glance, he spotted some crates, so walked over and dropped onto one of them. He held up the ferret with both hands. "Yeah, I certainly see why you're called 'Chaos!' If I didn't know any better, I'd say the gods were involved. Ares would get a good laugh out of all this!"
Hercules came out of the tavern a few minutes later, Iolaus' and Chaos' sacks over one shoulder, sword tucked under one arm as he juggled two bowls and two tankards with both hands. Iolaus set Chaos down on the crate, then jumped up to relieve his partner of some of the items. "Thanks," the son of Zeus said as he sat down on a crate.
After getting things organized, Iolaus settled down next to his best friend. He picked up Chaos and glanced at the larger man. "Honest, Herc, I didn't know he'd slipped out of his pouch!"
Hercules laughed at his partner's contrite tone. "You have no need to apologize, Iolaus. It wasn't your fault. These things happen."
Iolaus snorted. "Not to you, they don't."
"Oh, you'd be surprised what happens to me."
The hunter set his bowl on the crate beside him and gently lowered Chaos next to it. The ferret immediately proceeded to lick the bowl clean. Iolaus picked up his tankard and took a swig. He caught Hercules' eye and smiled. Setting down his ale, he chuckled. "If you've had to hang out with Salmoneous, I can only guess!"
Hercules smiled. "Where Salmoneous is concerned, I think you'd be better off *not* knowing." He sopped up some stew with the remainder of his bread and popped it into his mouth. Swallowing, he set aside the empty bowl, then brushed crumbs off his hands. "We've got another day and a half's journey to Thrice. Think we can make it without you killing the reason we're headed there?"
Iolaus considered. "Yeah, I think so." He heard a soft *thunk*, swiftly looked next to him then jumped to his feet. Chaos had tipped over his tankard, which, unfortunately, had been half full. The blond warrior picked up the animal, now thoroughly soaked with ale. As Chaos started to lick the alcohol off his fur, Iolaus started to laugh, shaking his head. "Then, again..."
It took them nearly two days at a steady pace to finally reach the outskirts of Thrice. Evenings had been spent camping. Iolaus and Chaos were once again an unbeatable team getting the rabbits for the first evening's meal. The roasted rabbit made an excellent dinner, though Iolaus gave the ferret some raw meat before spitting the carcasses. Chaos even enjoyed some of the quail Iolaus brought down for the next evening's supper.
Iolaus awoke one morning to Chaos sniffing through his blond hair or the next with the ferret licking his face. Several times during the course of the days, the ferret would tug at his amulet. The little animal was determined to get away with his prize, but was thwarted by the cord and the human every time. Before setting off in the morning, Iolaus had to clear out Chaos' carry-sack. It became a running joke to find the small things--bowls, Iolaus' sharpening stone and belt knife, dinars--that mysteriously disappeared, courtesy of the thieving Chaos, in the sack.
As they made their way down the road towards Thrice, Chaos divided his time between riding Iolaus' shoulder or sleeping in his pouch. It quickly became a familiar sight to Hercules to see his companion sharing food--jerky, bread, bits of apple--with the small animal as he strode along.
Thrice was as nondescript as the last little village--the one where they got kicked out of the tavern--they had passed through. Everybody went about their own business, basically ignoring the two travelers. Hercules and Iolaus stopped beside the town well and glanced around them. Iolaus settled his butt on the edge of the well, leaning his sword beside him. He reached into his belt pouch and removed a small piece of jerky, into which he bit.
"Tell ya what," he said after he swallowed, "why don't you go find out where this Atrius lives. I'll just rest here with Chaos for awhile."
"You don't want to give him up too soon, do you?"
"What? Me want this scruffy furball?" Iolaus gave his best friend an indignant look. "You know me better than that, Herc!"
"Oh, yeah, I do," the demigod murmured under his breath as he watched Iolaus lift the flap on the ferret's sack. Chaos poked his head out, so the hunter offered the remainder of his jerky to the ferret. Hercules smiled to himself. Aloud, he remarked, "I'll go see what I can find out."
Iolaus barely nodded in agreement as he stroked the little animal's head. Chaos sniffed his open palm for more treats, then climbed up onto Iolaus' gauntlet, up his vest and onto his shoulder. Iolaus chuckled as Chaos snuffled in his ear and nosed through his blond hair before rising unsteadily onto his haunches and, holding his head up, sniffed the air. Iolaus was so busy making sure the mischievous critter didn't fall, that it took him a few moments to realize a couple of the village's children were standing a short distance away, watching.
Keeping a hand in readiness should Chaos fall, Iolaus smiled at the children. "It's okay, he doesn't bite. Would you like to pet him?"
A little girl, not more than six years of age, nodded. The hunter beckoned with one hand as he grabbed Chaos with the other. The girl hesitantly stepped up then reached out to stroke the soft fur. A large grin spread across her face as the ferret sniffed her fingers, but otherwise accepted the gentle petting with contentment.
"This is Chaos," Iolaus told the girl with a smile, "he's a ferret. Have you ever seen a ferret before?"
The girl shook her head. Iolaus smiled at her shyness.
Seeing their companion having such a good time, the few other children that had gathered moved forward boldly. They reached out to touch this new creature.
Soon, a small crowd of kids was gathered around the warrior. He finally had to hold Chaos--one hand under his haunches, another under his forelegs, facing himself--so they could all see and pet the ferret. Iolaus only had to caution the kids to be gentle once and ask that they take turns touching Chaos. The ferret took the attention in stride, straining against Iolaus' grasp to sniff the hands petting him. He made no other moves.
After awhile the children drifted off to find something else to do. Iolaus pulled Chaos to him and gave the ferret a nice scratch between the shoulder blades. "Great job, Chaos," he praised. The hunter glanced around then back at his charge. "Shall we go look for Herc? Let's check the tavern. I'm starved anyway."
Standing, Iolaus dropped Chaos back into his sack and picked up his sword. He slung the weapon casually over his shoulder as he walked toward what looked like a tavern. Whistling tunelessly, mind intent on a large bowl of stew and a mug of ale, the hunter sauntered through the village.
As he passed by an open doorway, Iolaus was suddenly grabbed by the back of his vest and hauled backwards into the house. Before he could regain his balance, his sword was ripped from his grasp and tossed aside. It clattered against the far wall. A rough hand twisted the cord holding his amulet and a face suddenly appeared, blocking his entire field of vision.
"Yes?" Iolaus remarked nonchalantly. "Can I help you?"
"You bet you can, runt," the man grinned.
Comprehension dawned in Iolaus' eyes as he recognized the sword-plying thief he had bested a few days before. "Looking for a rematch?"
"No, just looking to take you out."
"I see," Iolaus replied easily. "Well, I don't think so." He quickly brought his arm up and broke the man's hold. He backed a few paces, lifting his arms in a defensive stance.
"So, the little boy wants to play rough. We can do that."
"We?" Iolaus mouthed. A sudden shuffle sounded behind him but, before he could turn completely to face the new threat, something hard crashed onto the back of Iolaus' head and the lithe hunter dropped into oblivion.
The first thing Iolaus became aware of when he slowly regained consciousness was the pounding in his head. He moaned softly and reached up to touch his head. Or, rather, tried to touch his head. He couldn't raise his arms. Blue eyes snapped open at that revelation. When his vision focused, Iolaus realized his hands were tied tightly in front of him. A length of rope bound his arms to his sides and him against the beam at his back.
Raising his head, the blond warrior took stock of his surroundings, appraising his situation. He was in the same room he'd been dragged into earlier. His belongings were on a nearby table. The thief he'd accosted was tossing his backpack aside, then he reached for Chaos' carry-sack. He opened the flap and reached in without looking inside the sack.
Iolaus smiled when the thief screamed in pain and yanked out his hand. Chaos poked his head out of the sack and hissed. The bandit shook his hand as he snarled at the ferret. Suddenly, he picked up the pouch and flung it across the room. It hit the wall with a soft thud! and dropped to the floor.
The hunter gaped in horror. The sack didn't move and Iolaus feared the worst. Fury blazed in Iolaus' eyes as he struggled futilely against his bonds. "You bastard! Pick on someone your own size!"
The thief whirled at the angry voice. He stalked over to Iolaus and, still rubbing his sore hand, stood before the hunter. "You got a problem, little man?"
"I always have a problem with people who hurt living creatures who can't defend themselves!" Iolaus growled. He twisted his wrists in an attempt to loosen the ropes.
The other snorted. "You ain't so tough now, are ya?" he sneered. "You were lucky a couple of days ago, but not now, are ya?" He struck out with a booted foot, striking the hunter in the side.
Iolaus grimaced from the blow; he sucked in his breath at the brief flare of pain. Fortunately, the blow hadn't hit his ribs, though Iolaus knew he'd probably end up with one heck of a bruise on his side. Recovering quickly, the blond warrior raised defiant, blazing eyes at his captor. He held up his bound wrists. "Guess you can't beat people in an honest battle, huh?"
The defiance earned Iolaus a blow across his chin. The thief knelt, grabbed a handful of blond hair and forced the hunter's head back up. Blood trickled from a split lip. "You'll soon learn some respect, little man," the bandit growled. He slammed Iolaus' head back against the beam then rose and stalked out of the room.
Iolaus shook his head then blinked to clear his vision. Disgusted with himself for allowing an enemy to get the drop on him, Iolaus spit out the blood in his mouth as he once again tried to loosen the ropes.
Movement across the room caught the compact warrior's attention. Chaos slowly emerged from his sack. The ferret shook his head, his fur slightly raised as he scanned the room. Iolaus sighed, relieved Chaos appeared to be all right. After a quick glance to make sure they were alone, the hunter leaned forward as much as he was able. "Chaos. Hey, buddy," he called softly.
The small animal looked towards the familiar voice then bounded abit unsteadily to Iolaus. The ferret's gait became more stable as he approached his human friend. Chaos paused to sniff Iolaus' right boot.
"Chaos, up here."
Chaos sneezed, glanced at Iolaus' face, then returned to checking out the fascinating scents on the hunter's boot.
"Chaos, hey, c'mere!" Iolaus urged, trying to keep his voice low. When he was again ignored, he hissed, "Hey, furface!"
The ferret looked up, then climbed onto the human's breeches. He sniffed his way up the leg.
"That's it, Chaos!" Iolaus urged, holding out his bound wrists. "Chew the rope." Even as he said it, the hunter knew it was a crazy idea, but could think of no other options. The ropes holding him had been tied too tightly and he didn't know how long before his captor would return.
Chaos crawled onto Iolaus' right hand. He sniffed at the rope; however, he found the gauntlet much more interesting and clawed at the well-used leather.
"No, Chaos, the rope," Iolaus, trying to remain patient, nodded to his wrists, "chew the rope." He shook his head as the animal scrambled up his vest and onto his shoulder. He turned his head and found himself looking into a pair of beady, black eyes. "No, Chaos. The rope, chew the rope!" He held up his tied hands. "Listen, furface" he ordered sternly. Chew. The. Rope."
The ferret touched his nose to Iolaus' before scrambling back down to the human's breeches. He climbed onto Iolaus' hands. He sniffed the rope, clawed briefly at it, then began to chew on it.
Iolaus smiled. "Atta boy, Chaos!" He quickly glanced at the doorway then back. As the strands of hemp snapped, Iolaus twisted his wrists. He grinned as the bonds loosened. After a couple minutes, he was able to yank his wrists apart.
"Great work!" Iolaus grabbed Chaos in one hand as he struggled with the rope around his chest. He slipped under the rope and scrambled to his feet. He walked over to the table holding his things. A voice stayed his hand reaching for his sword.
"Going somewhere, runt?"
Iolaus turned his head to look at the bandit, who stood in the doorway a few feet away. "As a matter of fact..." he began, then leapt forward.
His captor had obviously foreseen the move; he quickly stepped aside, drawing his knife as he did so. He swiftly slashed at Iolaus, who barely avoided having his blood drawn as he danced backwards. Iolaus kicked out with his right foot. The move, however, was expertly blocked. The man seemed to know a little more about hand-to-hand combat than swordplay.
Iolaus glanced down at Chaos still in his hands, then tossed the weasel-like creature at the thief, who reflexively dropped the knife to catch the flying ferret. Taking full advantage of the distraction, the blond warrior struck out with his fist. He made contact twice with the man's face and kicked him in the abdomen for good measure. The bandit staggered backwards several steps, throwing the animal outward. Iolaus quickly snatched a spread-eagled Chaos mid-air, then whirled and booted the other in the back end to send him slamming headfirst into the far wall, where he slipped to the floor, badly dazed if not unconscious.
A soft noise from behind alerting him, the hunter ducked as a club whooshed by overhead. Letting out an Eastern war cry, he quickly spun, kicking out at the enemy. The man flew into a chair, which broke beneath his weight. This one seemed content to yield to Iolaus' greater skills and lay where he had fallen, hands up in surrender.
Satisfied that they were in no immediate danger, Iolaus held up his furry companion and grinned. "What a team we make, huh?"
Chaos' only response was to yawn mightily.
After gathering up his gear and hauling the two bandits to the local magistrate's, Iolaus made his way back to the town well. There he found Hercules leaning against the well. The demigod was looking decidingly bored. Iolaus felt a pang of guilt, because he didn't know how long his friend had been waiting for him.
"Hey, Herc!"
Hercules immediately straightened, turning towards the familiar voice. "Iolaus, where have you--" then he spotted the bruise on his friend's side and Iolaus' more ruffled appearance. "What happened?" he demanded, concern tingeing his voice.
"Just a run-in with a couple of those bandits who attacked Barnus' wagon." He gestured to the ferret perched on his left shoulder. "Chaos and I took care of 'em."
"You and...Chaos...took care of them?"
"Yeah." Iolaus grinned at the disbelief in the bigger man's voice. He loved it when he managed to confound the legendary Hercules.
"Right," Hercules finally answered. "Whatever you say, Iolaus. Anyway, I found out where Atrius lives. He has a small farm just outside of town."
"Oh, okay. I'm sure the little furball will be happy to have a home." Iolaus tried to sound happy at the news, but couldn't quite put the right conviction behind his words. Despite, or maybe *because of*, all the little tricks Chaos had pulled, he knew he would miss the trouble-making ferret
"Iolaus?"
The hunter snapped out of his reverie. "Huh? Oh, yeah, you said Atrius lives outside of town?" He stepped forward quickly, though Hercules caught up to his friend in only a few strides.
They found a small farm not far from Thrice's border. A younger man was busy repairing one of the barn doors as they approached. The man straightened, wiping his brow then paused as he spotted the two visitors.
"Help ya?" he asked.
"Yes," Hercules replied, "we're looking for a man named Atrius."
"That'd be me," the man answered. He was dark-haired and tall, well muscled, obviously used to hard work. "What can I do for ya?"
"I'm Hercules and this is my friend, Iolaus. Your brother, Barnus, asked us to come. His wagon was attacked by bandits and..."
A concerned look crossed Atrius' face. "Is he all right? His family?"
"They're fine," Iolaus assured, "but Barnus got a broken leg. His wife insisted he not make the trip here to see you."
Atrius laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like Talia, alright!"
Just then, a female voice interrupted. "Atrius?"
"Here, Katrina."
A lovely, very pregnant blonde joined the three men. She smiled at the strangers before looking at her husband. "Dinner is almost ready."
"Katrina, this is Hercules and Iolaus. They bring word of Barnus and his family. They were attacked by bandits; except for Barnus suffering a broken leg, they are doing well."
"Thank the gods," Katrina said, turning to look at the warriors. "It was very nice of the son of Zeus to come all this way to tell us."
Hercules smiled. "It's all right. Barnus asked us to deliver something to you."
"The ferret?" Atrius queried.
"You got it." Iolaus opened the sack and extracted Chaos. Holding the critter, Iolaus stepped forward so the couple could get a closer look at him. "This is Chaos."
"What a strange-looking little creature!" Katrina commented. She looked to Iolaus, who nodded, before tentatively reaching out to touch the ferret. Chaos immediately started sniffing her fingers. Katrina smiled. "How friendly! Hello, Chaos."
Atrius smiled. "I hope this ferret is better at catching those mice than that next-to-useless cat that lives here!"
"Atrius, he is pretty old now," the woman scolded. "Give him some credit for his younger days."
"Yes, I can give him that," Atrius said in a resigned tone.
"Well, I don't know how good of a mouser he is," Iolaus remarked, "but he did flush a rabbit from its hole one night. Barnus seemed pretty confident of his abilities to help you with your mouse problem."
Chaos twisted in Iolaus' grasp. He made as if to jump from the hunter's arm to the ground. Iolaus knelt, allowing Chaos to ooze river-otter-like to the ground. The ferret sniffed his immediate surroundings, then launched into his wild parody of an Amazon war dance.
"Is he all right?" Katrina asked as Chaos executed a quick roll and jump.
"He's fine," Hercules assured. "That's his dance of joy."
"We call it a Weasel War Dance," Iolaus supplied with a laugh.
"I thought for a moment he had the madness or something!" Atrius admitted.
"That's normal for him."
They watched Chaos perform his antics for a few minutes. Chaos raced over to the still kneeling Iolaus and 'attacked' his right gauntlet. Iolaus smiled, gently flipped the ferret onto his back and scratched his furred belly. Chaos kicked his paws and play-lunged at the blond warrior's hand.
"Would you like to join us for dinner?" Atrius asked.
"We wouldn't want to impose; we can always find something in the village," Hercules stated, turning his attention from his partner to the couple.
"No bother, I assure you!" the man insisted. "Katrina always makes more than enough for the two of us!"
"There's no reason you should have to walk all the way back to the village," Katrina added. "Let us thank you for all trouble you went through to help Barnus and his family and for bringing Chaos here."
Atrius nodded. "Yes, let us. Our house is small, but you are both welcome to spend the night in the barn. It's dry and there's plenty of fresh straw to sleep in. It's not much, but you won't have to pay for a room in Thrice."
Hercules glanced at his friend. Iolaus smiled and shrugged quickly before returning his attention to Chaos, who was gnawing gently on one of his knuckles.
"The barn will be more than fine, thank you, and we'd be honored to join you for dinner," the demigod answered.
The next morning, Hercules awoke to rustling noises. The demigod rolled in the straw and raised his head slightly so he could see what was happening. Iolaus lay on his stomach nearby and was reaching for something with both hands. The golden hunter made a quick lunge. "Come back here, you junior Autolycus!" Iolaus growled, though Hercules knew his friend well enough to know by the tone of his voice he wasn't angry with, who else?, Chaos.
Raising himself onto an elbow, Hercules decided to watch the show. He knew he could count on Iolaus to give him his dinar's worth.
Chaos slipped into the pile of straw, Iolaus quickly pulled himself to his knees and began digging where the ferret had disappeared. Straw flew everywhere; Hercules ducked a couple bigger handfuls that headed his direction. Chaos emerged to Iolaus' left, partly hidden from the searching hunter. It was then Hercules noticed the cause of the ruckus: Iolaus' green amulet, the cord firmly captured in the ferret's mouth.
Hercules smiled widely. Perseverance had paid off for the little beast. Wiping the silly smile off his face, the son of Zeus gently cleared his throat. Iolaus, straw stuck on his vest and in his hair, turned his head at the sound. Hercules nodded ever so slightly at the object of Iolaus' frantic search.
"There you are, you little furball!"
Chaos jumped, twisting out of the way as the human lunged. He bounced through the flaxen straw, eyes bright, tail fur fluffed in excitement. Hercules could swear the ferret was laughing. Iolaus' failed attempt to capture the elusive animal resulted in him getting buried up to his shoulders in straw. He quickly exploded from the heap and shook his head, golden hair waving as pieces of straw flew in all directions.
Hercules sat up and eased himself back until his spine rested against the stall divider. Once settled, he continued to watch the proceedings, his own eyes twinkling. Iolaus certainly hadn't disappointed him. He was enjoying the show immensely.
After a couple more springing capture attempts resulted in nothing but a face full of straw, Iolaus finally threw himself backward into one of the larger piles. He laid his head back and looked at the ceiling of the barn. "It's too early in the morning to be doing this!"
"You give the expression 'a roll in the hay' a whole new meaning," Hercules commented. "I think Chaos managed to get you to play with him."
Iolaus raised his head to regard his comrade-in-arms. "Hey, you're so smart, *you* catch him!"
The demigod saw Chaos pop up from the straw again, the amulet still dangling from his mouth. "Hey, Chaos," he said soothingly, holding out his right hand.
Chaos glanced in Iolaus' direction and, seeing his human toy had given up the game, slinked his way through the straw to the larger man. As the ferret climbed onto his gauntlet, Hercules gently took the amulet and held it up for his partner to see.
The hunter snorted in disgust and plopped his head back onto the straw. "Traitor," he remarked. It was not known if he referred to his two-legged or four-legged companion. He quickly pushed himself to his elbows as something hit the straw beside him. He snatched up his amulet, making a face as he saw where Chaos had chewed through the leather thong.
He knotted the loose ends together. *Note to self: get new cord for amulet.* Sighing heavily, Iolaus scrambled to his feet and looked skyward. "Ferrets!" He glanced at Hercules, who was clucking softly to Chaos. As the ferret touched noses with the demigod, Iolaus felt a heartfelt smile spread across his face. Quickly turning before his partner caught the expression, he made a show of brushing straw from his clothes and hair.
He'd just put the talisman around his neck when Hercules came up to his side. The demigod gently dropped Chaos onto the shorter man's shoulder without breaking stride as he made his way through the barn. Iolaus turned his head to regard the beast, who matched his gaze. Gripping the cord once again around his neck, the hunter commanded, "No more of this, okay?"
Leaving his things in the barn, Iolaus followed Hercules outside. Chaos surveyed the scenery, front paws resting on the golden hunter's right shoulder, his tail draped over the left. The morning sun was warm and bright. Iolaus paused in the yard and, placing his hands on his hips, he leaned back slightly to get the full effect of the sun on his face. A wide grin spread across his face as the wind ruffled his flaxen hair.
Hercules gave him a strange look. "What?"
Iolaus shrugged. "Nothing. It's just such a beautiful morning, that's all."
"Yeah, it is."
"Morning, Hercules, Iolaus," greeted Katrina, a small basket of freshly gathered eggs hanging over her left arm.
Iolaus gestured to the basket. "Can I take that for you?"
"Oh, yes, thank you." She gratefully handed the basket over to the blond. "You'll be joining us for breakfast? Porridge? Fresh eggs?"
"That sounds great, thank you," Iolaus smiled.
After a surprisingly filling breakfast, the two warriors decided it was time to go. They gathered their things and thanked the couple for their hospitality. Iolaus found Chaos' carry-sack and turned it upside down. Several small items fell to the ground. As he crouched to retrieve the items, Iolaus looked at Atrius.
"He's a natural-born thief, so if you find something missing, you'd better check his hiding spot."
"Looks like he's a natural-born hunter, too," Atrius commented with a laugh as Iolaus held up a dead mouse by the tail.
"Well, at least he'll be able to get into holes your cat can't," the compact warrior answered as he flicked the tiny carcass away. He stood and handed the sack over to Atrius. "Don't forget about that scruffing trick I showed you. It will come in handy should he get too wild to handle. He seems to think life is just one big game."
"Maybe we could learn a lesson from him," Hercules commented.
"Yes, maybe," Atrius agreed.
Iolaus reached up with his right hand and gently plucked Chaos from his shoulder. He held the beast up and looked him in the eyes. "*You* be good and don't give these nice people a hard time."
Chaos reached forward and touched noses with the human hunter. Iolaus felt tears spring to his blue eyes. Gruffly, he remarked, "Trouble-maker." He quickly handed the ferret over to his new owner, then turned and began to gather up his few belongings.
He slung the pack over his left shoulder and picked up his sheathed sword in his left hand. Straightening, he saw Hercules give the ferret one last rub on the head.
"Goodbye, little one," the demigod said. Nodding to Atrius and Katrina, he again thanked them for the food and lodging.
"If you are ever in the area again, please feel free to stop by," Atrius told them. "Our door is always open to you."
"Thank you, we will," Hercules promised. He looked at his partner and, at Iolaus' nod, they walked away.
It wasn't until they had camped for the night, a huge trout roasting over the fire, that Hercules broached the question that was on his mind since early afternoon. He sat next to Iolaus, who was poking idly at the fire. "You miss him, don't you?"
"Huh?" Iolaus jerked straighter and looked at his partner. "Who?"
"Chaos."
"That little furball? Of course not!"
"Oh, come on, Iolaus, admit it. He got to you."
"Herc," the hunter remarked, "he was only with us...what? Two, three days? Hardly enough time to get attached to *anything*, much less a thieving little puffball."
Hercules raised his eyebrows. He hadn't missed the saddened look on his best friend's face when he turned Chaos over to Atrius.
Seeing the look, Iolaus threw down the stick. "All right! I miss him! There, you got me to admit it! Happy now, O Son of the Mighty Zeus?"
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Iolaus. I miss him, too. It was kind of fun having him around for a few days." Hercules chuckled. "He certainly kept you on your toes."
"Yeah, he did, didn't he?" Iolaus agreed with a laugh. "Ya know, there's something to be said about letting a small, furry, determined, thieving, trouble-making, fun-loving animal weasel its way into your heart."
"And what's that?"
Iolaus grinned. "It's what I call my Chaos Theory."
1/31/99
Disclaimer: No ferrets were harmed during the writing of this story, though the author's own ferrets risked being skinned alive for performing their own version of the Weasel War Dance on her computer's keyboard and almost deleting several vital programs.
The Lesson Disclaimer: Though ferrets have been domesticated for thousands of years, I do not know if they were ever actually used in Ancient Greece, certainly not in Herc and Iolaus' time. Because of this domestication, modern day ferrets have lost their ability to hunt for survival. They are mainly pets in the United States and should NOT be released into the wild. I do not know if they still practice the 'art' of ferreting (sending a ferret down a rabbit's hole to flush it out) in Britain and I understand roadkill is a common staple in a ferret's diet in Australia (if anybody from those countries can enlighten me on this, please e-mail me, I'd like to know). If you've stayed with me to this point, I thank you. I do not mean to lecture, but wish to correct some popular misconceptions about these critters that have stolen my heart. As a friend pointed out to me, ferrets are brave, fearless, very determined and fun loving. These qualities are also found in a certain Golden Hunter and they could be parts of the reason why Iolaus has also captured my heart.
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