Hercules stared at Iolaus in horror.
"No! Absolutely not! It's just too dangerous."
"Come on, Herc! Your mom asked me; you don't want her to try to do it herself, do you?"
A shadow crossed Hercules' godlike features.
"Do you think she ... no, she'd never be that foolhardy. What about Jason? Didn't she ask him?"
Iolaus drew a little design in the dirt with the toe of his boot.
"Iolaus? I'm waiting." Hercules folded his arms and stared down at Iolaus until the golden head lifted, and deep blue eyes met his defensively.
"She asked him, all right. He said ..."
"He said?"
"He said he wouldn't wish it on Hera."
"He's right."
"Fine. I'll do it by myself."
Hercules watched as Iolaus stomped away, his back stiff and straight. Hercules knew that he'd do it, just to be annoying.
"I just know I'm gonna regret this," the demigod sighed and started after his foolish, but, unquestionably courageous mortal friend, "then, I'll make *you* regret it!"
He caught up to Iolaus.
"Okay, okay. Do you have a plan, dare I ask?"
"Of course I have a plan. Uh, first we need a couple of tubs of warm water. And, a jug. Grab the blacksmith gloves and aprons; I'll get a flask of wine."
"Wine?"
"In case we live."
Jason strode into the house.
"Alcmene. I've been thinking about it, and, I'll do it."
Alcmene smiled up at him fondly and patted the back of his hand.
"That's all right, sweetheart; I asked Iolaus to do it."
"Iolaus? He'll be killed!"
"Now, now, Jason; Iolaus can take care of himself. Besides, if I know him, he's probably shamed Hercules into helping him." She went back to her weaving, humming happily.
"How can you hum at a time like this? Where did Iolaus go?"
"Oh, I'm not really sure. Out by the barn, I think."
Jason stalked out of the house and headed for the barn. He was still twenty paces away when he heard the shouts, then a sound that chilled his blood. The scream of a demigod.
Unsheathing his sword, Jason crept up to the barn, opening the door a crack to survey the battleground.
Hercules was doubled over, clutching at his groin. Iolaus stood beside him, before the workbench, his arms in a tub. He was ... laughing.
"Oh, sure, laugh! It could have been you, you know. In fact, it should have been you!" Hercules choked the words out, red-faced.
"Come on, be a hero. I need you to fill the jug with water and rinse, quick!"
Hercules limped over to the jug and filled it from a second tub. He proceeded to upend it over Iolaus' head. Iolaus sputtered and yelped, but didn't move.
"You'll pay for that, Herc. Just wait until my hands are free. But, for now, just rinse the cat, please!"
The cat in question, however, took immediate advantage of Iolaus' momentary distraction. Shredding her way up his apron, she scrambled onto his head, then launched herself at Hercules. A brief battle ensued; the cat was the obvious winner. She streaked off into the remotest corner of the barn.
Hercules and Iolaus stared at one another for a moment.
"I just have one thing to say to you, Iolaus."
Iolaus looked up at Hercules, his hair dripping into wary eyes set in an impressively-scratched face.
"What?"
"Where's the wine?"
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