Hercules:
'I wonder how Iolaus and I ever missed visiting this place before.
It's a good thing we met up with Autolycus for this leg of our
travels. He knew all the shortcuts to get to this town. It made
things a lot easier,' thought the demigod as he, his partner and
the self-proclaimed King of Thieves walked leisurely through the
town. "Tree-lined main street is a nice touch to this thriving
little trade hub. Olive capital of the world they call themselves.
Well, it sure smells the part. Phew. Now, if I can just keep my two
travel companions from irritating each other to death until I can get
a decent dinner…'
'Hmmmmm…that must be the inn at the end of the street,' he thought as he took in the impressive sight of the largest, white-washed, mud brick building he'd ever seen. 'It's huge. I bet they get a lot of trade caravans through here.'
'Looks like this street's the only way in and the only way out.'
Hercules took note of a large number of children running in the middle of the street, playing, joking and not paying much attention to their surroundings. He wondered how parents could let such young ones go virtually unsupervised. 'Why at any minute someone on horseback could come down this way and not be able to stop on time. It's an accident waiting to happen.'
Hercules took a sweeping look at the buildings on either side of the street. He counted several enclosed food bazaars, a number of trading offices, four warehouses and two stables before concentrating again on the imposing building that served as the inn.
'Lots of doors and windows,' he thought, looking pointedly at Autolycus as they neared the entrance to the great establishment. 'Great for making quick escapes. At least we'll be here to keep an eye on him tonight.'
'Hey…would you look at that…swinging doors! Iolaus loves swinging doors.'
'Well lit…good clean establishment…new sawdust on the floors, very good. Spitoons are a nice touch. Long bar…sturdy wooden tables and benches. Smart proprietor…he's got all the furniture bolted to the floor. I'd even have trouble pulling them out of the floor boards if a brawl broke out. But that's not likely tonight. Customers all seem pretty sedate and well to do. That must be the proprietor at the end of the bar. He's just got that look about him like he owns the place'
'Whoa, ho, ho…look at all the pretty barmaids! Iolaus is going to think it's his birthday already," he thought as he grinned to himself. 'I bet he makes a play for the tall Redhead in the green dress.'
He slowly and admiringly let his hand drift over one of the highly polished table tops as they waited to be seated.
Pulled out of his brief reverie by a tempting aroma that wafted through the dining area from the kitchen, he thought as his stomach rumbled, 'lamb stew and fresh fruits. Great! I'm so sick of rabbit and fish.'
'I hope General Martars shows up soon for our meeting. I'd like to be out of here and back on the road early tomorrow morning.'
Autolycus:
'Phew! The whole town smells like…' he was about to say stale
olives but inspiration hit. He smiled broadly as he mentally changed
direction. 'Smells like money! Well, it still smells like stale
olives but olives = trade = caravans = rich merchants = money! And
my teachers thought I was weak in math. Ha! The question is…how do
I get some of that money in my pockets?' Such were the King of
Thieves thoughts as he made his way down the tree-lined main street
of Kalamata with Hercules and Iolaus. He looked upward, taking
special note of the trees and was slightly disappointed at the
thinness of the upper branches and the sparse foliage. 'Nothing much
up there to hold on to if one just so happened to have an urgent need
to climb a tree.'
'Can't do anything while I'm escorting Goodie Two Sandals and the Blond Wonder around town…or maybe I could. Hanging around with these two would give me a great alibi…if I just so happened to need one, that is.'
As the trio made their way down the long street Autolycus noted, 'only one way in and out of this place. Not good for making quick, unnoticed escapes. Do-able if necessary but not recommended. I wonder if the idiot city planners had me in mind when they designed this place. And where did all these rugrats come from? Kids sure do get in the way sometimes - or - they could act as a nice diversion.'
'Hmmmmm…no alley ways in between and no clutter in front of any of these businesses. Means all these establishments must have back doors for taking the trash out. Good to know, just in case.'
'The inn's bigger than I remember. They must have added on since I came here last. Now that's exciting. I love a good show of prosperity.'
'Oh ho ho…swinging doors! Curley's still enough of a kid to get a kick out of that!'
'Nice solid bar. Good taste in furniture, understated elegance for the fat-cat clientele.'
'Too well lit in here for my tastes though,' he thought as he looked towards the ceiling. He counted the chandeliers, evaluated the sturdiness of their anchors in the overhead beams and pondered how many combinations of swings from one light fixture to another that it would take for him to reach the front door from any given position in the room.
'That well dressed, over-fed man standing at the end of the bar looks like the proprietor. He sure knows how to accessorize. Just look at that nice, fat money pouch! He could stand to loose a little weight though. I might just help lighten his load a bit tonight, heh…heh…heh! And the best part is, no one will suspect a thing since I'm here with the Big Guy.'
'Yummy! Is that lamb stew I smell? Stop grumbling tummy. You'll get some soon enough if Blondie doesn't get to order first.'
'Ho…ho…ho! Look at the bevy of beautiful serving wenches! Oh…would you look at that sweet Redhead! Yowza! Note to self…you'll get some of that soon enough too, that is if Blondie doesn't get to them all first.'
'Priorities Auto old boy…priorities! Money first, then you can decide what comes in second…food or women.'
'I hope General Martars doesn't show up anytime soon…at least until payday's over.'
Iolaus:
'Gee, how come Herc and I never came here before? I know…one sniff
of this place and I'd never want to leave. Mmmmmmm…all those great
smells…olives…more olives…*sniff*…feta cheese…stuffed grape
leaves…*sniff*…warm bread…honey…*sniff*…spices…*sigh*.
'Look at all those food bazaars! Seventeen eating establishments on one street. My kind of town…Kalamata is…my kind of town. Nice street too. Scrawny looking trees lining the way. Nothing you could hold onto with a grappling hook, but they're a nice touch. Especially since it's the only way in and out of this place. Smart way to plan a town. Easy to defend…not so easy to escape from,' thought Iolaus as he shot a quick look at Autolycus.
*Grumble!* 'Quiet tummy! You'll get fed real soon. Hurry to the inn, Herc. Whoops. Herc must have heard my stomach protesting. He's looking at me funny. Now, if I could just stop this irritating thief from ruining my appetite. He hasn't shut up all afternoon. I ought to deck him right here, drag him into one of these stables and chain him up for the night. That would give Herc and me some peace. In fact, by the looks of these tracks, it's probably a camel caravan renting out that stable across the street. I wonder if our friendly thief has ever come face-to-face with an ornery, spitting camel? After the verbal abuse I've had to put up with from Auto today, for Herc's sake, he deserves to be chained in a stall with one of those nasty beasts all night.'
The hunter's attention was drawn away from thoughts of camels by a laughing youngster darting across his path. 'Look at all these happy little tykes running around, playing. They're having the time of their lives and they don't even realize it. Gods, what I wouldn't give for me and Herc to be young and carefree again. Yup, those were the days!'
'Four warehouses…now that's a lot of olives. And eight trading offices means lots of merchants -- rich merchants by the looks of this town -- and trade caravans. That's another good argument for chaining the King of Dweebs in the stables for the night.'
'That's got to be the inn at the end of the street. What a lot of doors and windows! The place is all lit up like a Solstice bonfire.'
'Hey, would you look at that…swinging doors! I love them. They don't hurt you at all when you get thrown through them.'
'Wow! Look at the shine on the bar and the furniture. It's so highly polished I bet I could see my face in the table tops.' Iolaus thought as he ran his fingers lightly over the bar while passing through the room at Hercules' side. 'Furniture's sturdy and bolted to the floor. Good idea, especially if Auto has any ideas about using those light fixtures as trapezes. He's so nonchalant about checking them out. I wonder if Herc noticed him doing it too. Looks to me like the chandeliers are bolted to the ceiling beams good enough, the metal work and decoration on them is really, really good and expensive. Anyway, if he tried to swing out of this place, I'd beat him to the door every time from any place in this dining room. Besides, if he were stupid enough to pick-pocket anyone in this place while Herc and I were here, he'd deserve to get caught. He's probably got his eye on that fat-cat over by the end of the bar. Must be the owner of this place.'
*Sniff* 'Oh boy! Lamb stew and fresh bread… *sniff*…spinach pie and honey cakes… *sniff* fish and feta popovers. Jason loves those. Too bad he couldn't be here. *Sniff* asparagus…eewh! Steer clear of the veggies tonight Iolaus! This place smells great…and if I can smell the good stuff cooking from all the way back there every time the kitchen door opens it means there must be an open window or door in the back pushing the aroma in this direction. That's another possible escape route for old 'Sticky Fingers' Autolycus that I'll have to keep my eye on.'
'Gods! Would you look at all these beautiful barmaids! And that tall Redheaded one with the milk chocolate eyes! Whoo Hoo! Tonight's the night I trot out my new pickup line. 'Oh Baby…your feet must be tired 'cause you've been running thru my mind all night!' Yeah, that ought to do it.' His eyes followed her course through the dining room and he noticed the wide wooden staircase with an elaborately carved banister at the back of the room leading to the second floor.
'I hope General Martars doesn't show up for a couple of days. An inn this nice must have warm rooms and soft beds.'
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