Limericks from April 1 to July 20, 1999

by Iolausian Limericks Anonymous

Bwell's back with her limerick condition
"It's a curse," is the Iolausian's admission
They may cause you to moan
and say, "Leave me alone!"
But she won't stop til this comes to fruition.

Iolaus' intelligence and wit was a marvel at play
Though this Iolausian heard not a word he would say
It wasn't that odd
she'd stare at his bod
when that vest fell open, you'd hear shouts of Hooray!

And don't even get her started on his smile
Though that attribute had its own style
That lopsided grin
Many a heart would win
Add the giggle, and THUDs could be heard for a mile.

Now inspite of viscious rumors that falsely accuse
Iolaus of being a bad cook, this misinformation could confuse
Why would Iolausians make
Please for help to bake?
Those cookies on the list received glowing reviews.

Okay, the limericks will stop for a bit
Though it was fun once again I admit
But you never will know
when these rhymes will flow
And this cursed addiction I humbly submit.


Iolaus sat by the lake
Baking Bwell a cake
It fell in the middle
collapsed on the griddle
Now he needs a rake

There once was a hunter from Greece
With hair as golden as the fleece
He roamed far and wide
With a hydra he did collide
But it only nibbled a piece

Bwell's dont it to me once more
I'm rhyming myself out the door
I can't stop writing
These limericks I'm fighting
But from me that continue to pour

Little Iolaus liked to go to town
Wearing his new suit of brown
Occasionally he would snatch
A pastry from a fresh batch
Which always made his mother frown.

Iolaus didn't want to study
He really wanted to play with his buddy
They went for a swim
Iolaus dove from a rock on a whim
And ended up all muddy

Iolaus and Autolycus had a hoot
Fishing a lake for loot
Iolaus snagged a flute
And blew a toot
While Auto reeled in a boot

(I suppose they had sole for supper? {VBG})

Tomatoes graciously accepted by Ceryndip

There once was a hunter so sweet
He swept all the girls off their feet
For as soon as he smiled
Every female for miles was beguiled

It's all Bwell's fault... :D


Iolausians discuss the potato
Like it was the philosophy of Plato
They laugh and they giggle
Till their insides jiggle
At least it wasn't a tomato

One glance at that speedo
Can jumpstart a libido
The wonders within
Cause heads to spin
It's the same when the man's in a tuxedo


As a loyal Iolausian, I say this can't be
100th episode without Iolaus is a travesty
What were they thinking
Must have been drinking
A missed opportunity we all can see.


Or I could start limericking to distraction
This would give me great satisfaction
To discuss his chest hair
or anything else bare
Could ignite a drool chain reaction.


There once was a handsome young Jester,
Who tried to teach school one semester.
He sang and he danced,
He joked and he pranced,
But the children continued to pester!

And the haiku,

Poor dear Iolaus.
He tried so hard with the kids,
Let the poor guy rest!


Once again this Iolausian must say
What a terrific Poetry Day
The best of the muse
I simply can't choose
They were all amazing, keep it up I pray.


There once was a man named Iolaus
Who possessed a great deal of promise
But without a doubt
Greatest within and without
Was the unbelievable size of his....gulp....heart?


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