I woke refreshed, well-rested and everything seemed right with the world. Arising from my bed, I stretched my sleep-soaked muscles. As a note of interest, I glanced out the window and noted that you could already see the full moon in the sky and it was not even evening yet . My stomach gave a slight rumble and I decided to head to the kitchen for a snack.
The aromas emanating from the scullery were wonderful, even more so than usual. Loaves of warm cinnamon bread lined the table with wisps of fragrant steam floating in the crisp fall air. There was another scent, sort of spicy. Not cinnamon, or cloves, but ginger, yes it was ginger.
Gaining a better vantage point, I scanned the counter tops. Hmmm, nothing there. Taking a deep sniff, I used my sensitive nose to determine where the smell was coming from. Ah, I had it, the window sill. A quick journey across the floor soon had me face to face with the ginger-scented objects. Cookies! Gingerbread cookies.
I leaned in for a closer look. The gingerbread cookies were shaped and decorated. I sat back and pondered the images. Leaves - that made sense as it was the fall season. Brooms - perhaps to represent fall cleaning. Pumpkins - a favorite treat at the upcoming fall festivals. Apples - again a fall treat.
The next shape confused me and no matter which way I tilted my head, I couldn’t quite figure it out. It looked like a blob or a rather badly mangled sheet. Curious, I moved on to the next cookie. Again a shape that was not immediately recognizable. If I didn’t know better I’d say it was a grave marker. Now there’s a cheerful cookie to munch on. My skin gave a slight shudder.
My green eyes widened and the hair stood up on the back of my neck as I looked at the last cookie. It was a shape I intimately recognized! In distress, I sprang away from the rack of cooling cookies and high-tailed it out of the kitchen. It couldn’t be, not already. It was way too soon. It could not be Halloween already! That night of tricks or treats where I never saw a treat but was always unwittingly involved in plenty of tricks. Feed me to the hydras and call me a fool but I hated this night!
I ran blindly through the halls of the academy looking for sanctuary.
Where to hide! Where to hide?
The library? No, I was well known for frequenting the library. Maybe the dorm; I could crawl under a bed. Hmmm, perhaps not. I might find something scarier under the cadet’s bed than I was already facing.
Where to hide? Where to hide!
Maybe the outhouse? Perhaps I could wedge my body in the rafters of the outhouse. Would they think to look for me there? This was beginning to seem like a good solution. Okay, not the most pleasant place to hide but hey, it was better than be the object of a Halloween prank.
I changed my course to head in that direction. As I neared my destination, a thought suddenly popped into my head and I came to a screeching halt. NO, NOT THE OUTHOUSE! Geez! That was always a target! As much as I didn’t want to be a target, I didn’t want to be in a target either, especially one that would most likely be smelly and messy. I started running back towards the main academy buildings, my mind racing as fast as my legs to come up with a suitable place to ride out the impending storm.
“Welcome to my nightmare”; my once a year, full fledged, terror from the deep, nightmare. Normally, life was pretty good for me at Chiron’s Academy. I got along with the majority of the cadets and found out early on that the saying “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” was true, especially with my dorm mates. I would take care of a pesky problem for them and they in turn would share an extra blanket and such with me. Not really such a bad life. I got three squares a day and a warm, dry place to stay. Ok, perhaps I had to learn more than I ever intended to in life, but the benefits outweighed the costs… except on Halloween.
In my panic, I neglected to watch where I was going and I ran full-tilt into them. We all went down in a tangle of arms and legs. Darn those gods, they did have it out for me. Of all the people to run into, especially tonight, I had to come across the worst three pranksters in the school. Iolaus, Hercules and Jason. Why not just throw me to a pack of wild dogs and have it over with; it had to be more merciful than what these three would get me involved in. My fate was sealed as Iolaus reached out and clamped a hand on me. I could hear the oars of Cherion’s boat heading in my direction. I was doomed.
Iolaus shifted his grip on me to assure I could not escape. Please, why Iolaus? He was definitely the worst of the bunch. Jason had common sense (most of the time) and Hercules showed common sense (at least some of the time). But Iolaus? As far as I had been able to observe, Iolaus did not posses a scrap of common sense. When there was trouble, he was in it, at the bottom of it and surrounded by it. Everything he touched seemed to turn sour and he was touching me! Mind-as-well put a dagger through my heart now and get it over with fast.
I thought about sinking my teeth into his arm, but that is not my style so I stood there like a man and waited for my fate to be revealed.
Would it involve green-goo like last year; this utterly repulsive, not quite water, not quite solid goop that I got immersed in? Iolaus had devised a spectacular trick which ended up with Jason and I face down in the trough full of green goop.
That day had started out quite innocently. Jason and I had been sitting in the library, he studying and me daydreaming out the window. Hercules had come into the library, slapped Jason’s scroll shut and dragged him outside. Jason didn’t protest and soon Jason, Hercules, Lilith and Iolaus were engaged in a rousing game of football.
Being too light for such a rough and tackle game, I was never involved in playing. However, I liked to watch so I had sauntered outside to sit in the sunshine and observe. Looking for a good vantage point to see all the action, I finally settled on the edge of the water trough. Oh why hadn’t I looked in it?
They set the teams, Hercules and Lilith against Iolaus and Jason. The game proceeded as games do, each side scoring touchdowns. The score had been tied, the end of the game near and Iolaus in possession of the ball. Iolaus was screaming “go long, go long” and Jason, seeing visions of victory, moved rapidly down the field towards his goal line. Lilith was lazily charging in Iolaus’ direction while Hercules shadowed Jason down field. Suddenly, Hercules tripped and crashed to the ground leaving Jason in the open. “I’m clear, I’m clear! Throw it,” Jason had screamed to Iolaus.
Now, I have to stop my narration here for a moment to make a note, which, in hindsight, should have made me realize all along this was a set-up. First was the make-up of the teams. It was always Hercules and Iolaus against the world. The teaming of Jason and Iolaus should have set off a bell in my mind as the two were like oil and water, or more aptly, King and commoner; they didn’t mix well. Also, there was Hercules tripping; not unheard of, but Hercules was usually a fairly sharp-on-his-feet dude. But the clincher should have been Iolaus’ throw to Jason. When I saw that horrible throw, I should have beat it for the hills. Iolaus’ accuracy is top notch, his passes on the mark, rather like his archery skills; top-ranked cadet in the school. However, this pass was long, way too long.
So back to the story, Iolaus throws this pass to Jason that is way too long and off course. Jason knew it was a bad throw, but his goal was victory so he used everything in his power to catch it. Keeping both eyes on the ball, Jason continued to move swiftly down the field on the ball’s trajectory. Me, I was so focused on Jason trying to make this catch that I neglected to realize the ball and I had something in common- the fact that we both were going to be sharing the same space soon. By the time I realized what was about to happen it was too late. Jason leapt into the air to get the ball. I tried to leap out of the way. Jason, to his credit, caught the ball. The ball and Jason crashed into me altering my trajectory and splat, we all ended up in the trough which had been filled with the green-goo. Iolaus, Hercules and Lilith collapsed to the ground in a fit of hysterics. The goo stuck to me unmercifully and it took quite a few washings to get it all off.
So much for last year. I now had to worry about this year as the trio of pranksters headed towards the barn with me in tow. I almost thought I saw the light of salvation when Jason asked “What do you need Obie for?”
“He’s our bait,” Iolaus answered.
‘Bait? Bait,’ I thought. That did not sound good.
“Lilith is always defending Obie. So, we are going to make it look like Obie is in distress in the barn. We know that Lilith passes by here on the way back from her History class. Obie will start yelling, Lilith will hear his cries and feel obligated to come to the rescue. Then we spring the rest of the surprise. It is a sure thing. Great plan. Can’t miss. Besides, using Obie is the only way to get Lilith into the barn on Halloween. Otherwise, she’ll be too much on her guard to walk in, that is unless she perceives it as a real emergency,” Iolaus explained.
“Isn’t that a bit cruel to Obie? How are you going to get him to scream and what about Chiron catching us?” asked Hercules.
I whipped my head back to look at Iolaus. ‘Good question,’ I thought. ‘Chiron is not going to appreciate this little stunt.’
Iolaus looked me in the eye. “Chiron is away until next week. I checked. And as for Obie, awww, you’ll cooperate with us won’t you buddy.”
Before I had a chance to frame a response we arrived at the barn and I got distracted by what I saw. On the floor lay a sack, a bucket, and a rope. Hercules and Jason looked as confused as I did.
“What’s in the bucket?” the Hercules asked.
“Eggs. Or precisely, broken eggs, shells removed,” Iolaus replied.
“And in the sack?” inquired Jason.
“Feathers, of the chicken variety,” Iolaus grinned.
“Ok, give.” Hercules demanded.
“Well, gentlemen. We are going to egg and feather Lilith! It goes like this. Jason and I climb into the rafters with the bucket of eggs and the sack of feathers while Herc hides behind the bales of hay by the door. Obie does his distress routine on the floor directly under us and Lilith comes to the rescue. Herc bangs the door shut which will cause Lilith to whirl to see what the noise is. While she is distracted, Jason pours the bucket of eggs over her head and I dump the sack of feathers, which will stick to the egg covered Lilith. Voila, we have a very large chicken,” Iolaus finished with a flourish.
“Oh boy, Iolaus, she is going to be hopping mad,” Jason snickered.
“Yeah,” Iolaus giggled. “She’ll be running around like a chicken without its’ head. Come on guys, let get started.”
Ok, call me stupid as I should have made a dash for it, but truth be told, I was curious. And you know the expression about curiosity. But I stayed anyway.
Iolaus and Jason clambered up the walls and shimmied out on to a rafter over the target zone. Hercules crouched behind the hay bales and me, I took my assigned spot on the floor.
“Here she comes,” Jason hissed. “Do your stuff Obie.”
Obligingly, I started raising a racket and as predicted, Lilith came rushing in crying “Obie, Obie what is the matter?”
It was at that point the plan took a slight turn to the right. Hercules slammed the door with such force that the barn shook on its’ foundation. A crack was heard and the rafter upon which Jason and Iolaus were perched snapped, tumbling them, the eggs and the feathers all onto Lilith and me.
“Oh no,” Hercules cried as he raced across the floor towards us. “Are you alright?”
Slowly we began to untangle ourselves. I was the last to try to stand as I was on the bottom of the heap. I shook my head and attempted to rise when suddenly an intense pain shot through my leg.
As I cried out in pain, the barn door swung open and a half-horse, half-man trotted into view. It took my addled brain a few seconds to realize that it wasn’t some character in a costume but none other than Chiron, in the horse-flesh. Apparently, the academy’s leader got back early from his trip.
“What is going on here!” his voice boomed.
Hercules, Jason, Iolaus and Lilith scrambled to their feet to face Chiron. I tried to get to mine but the searing pain shot through my leg again causing me to scream and fall back to the floor.
All heads rotated to focus on me. Iolaus started to babble but Chiron ignored him as he trotted over and carefully scooped me up in his arms.
“Obie is obviously hurt. I will take him to the infirmary. He may have broken a limb thanks to your stupid prank. I want you cleaned up and in my office in 15 minutes sharp!” he ordered the quartet of cadets.
“Yes sir,” they replied as they quickly exited from the barn leaving me and Chiron alone.
Chiron trotted to the infirmary carrying me in his powerful arms. “Poor boy,” he murmured as he gently laid me on the examining table.
The doctor came over and poked and prodded my various body parts. He manipulated my leg. “Not broken,” he pronounced. “More likely just a bad sprain. However, he’ll need to take it easy for the next couple of days. No running around.”
“Not a problem,” replied Chiron. “I have three very guilty cadets that are going to be at Obie's beck and call.” Chiron reached over and stroked my fur. “It is difficult being a black cat on Halloween, isn’t it fellow.”
I gave a pitiful meow of agreement.
The End.
26 Sep 2001
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