Genies, Grecians and Geeks, Oh My!
Render Unto Caesar
Norse by Norsevest
Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bridge
For Those of You Just Joining Us
Let there Be Light
Stranger and Stranger
Just Passing Through
Greece is Burning
We'll Always Have Cyprus...
Love on the Rocks
Once Upon A Future King
My Best Girl's Wedding
Guest Stars: Gina Torres, Ross Duncan, Tony Todd
Written By: Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci
Directed By: Michael Hurst
King Gilgamesh surveys the destruction of his city in Sumeria. People flee from fireballs flying through the air. He saves a girl from a falling statue and gives her to one of his men and tells him to take her to the castle where she will have some shelter. He addresses his assembled people. Their gods have turned against them. A man fears because Gilgamesh' father is the king of their gods and if he has turned from his son then there is no hope. Gilgamesh tells him not to worry he has send for a man in a far off land who does not fear the gods.
Hercules climbs out of a well with a small boy on his back. He has just rescued the boy. He and Iolaus walk away from the scene discussing Hercules' new theory that the world is round. Iolaus is not buying it because that would mean that people are upside down. Hercules is still working on the falling off part.
Three men approach them. They are from Sumeria and explain that their gods have turned against them and they need Hercules' help. Iolaus is surprised to discover that there are other gods out there. Hercules takes the revelation in stride saying that they would be glad to help, they need to broaden their horizons. Lightning and thunder crash.
Iolaus pulls Hercules to the side of the road and expresses his concerns about going on this trip. They don't know anything about these other gods. They have problems of their own in Greece. Hercules points out that they have to help people in need. Iolaus decides that they might as well get all the gods mad at them. Hercules puts his arm around Iolaus' shoulders and leads him back to the others telling him that any job worth doing is worth doing well. They need a ship. Hercules knows where to find one.
They arrive on the dock just in time to see a deal going slightly bad for Nebula. She has a couple of barrels of electric eels and the buyer wants more than the eels. So she throws the eel at him and fights the rest. Hercules and Iolaus decide that she doesn't need them and sit down to watch. She eventually tells them they could help and Hercules jumps up on a barrel and lifts Iolaus and Nebula up as he kicks over the barrel of eels and electrocutes the men.
The Sumerian emissaries walk up and announce that their king will be pleased to know that his sister is safe. They never thought they would see their princess again. Nebula doesn't want to go back to Sumeria. There, the women have to be pretty and quiet and Gilgamesh is only her half brother. Hercules persuades her with more talk of how the people need them and she agrees.
Iolaus asks if she's ok with this as they are about to set sail. She explains to him that in Sumeria she may be a princess but here on her own ship she is a queen with the power to go anywhere she desires. She calls him Goldilocks and he explains to her that his name is "Iolaus". She thinks he's cute when he's angry. He tells her that he understands her better than she thinks, that she doesn't like to be tied down. She grabs him with her leg and pulls him close and tells him that she never said she didn't like to be tied down. He giggles and pulls away.
Nebula arm wrestles one of the men below decks the men bet on the winner. The head Sumerian emissary, Imara is appalled that his royalty would act in this manner. She tells her men to help their guests relax. Hercules and Iolaus sit off to the side discussing what a handful Nebula is and why her crew puts up with her. Hercules tells Iolaus that he likes her. Iolaus tells him that he's crazy. Nebula is stubborn, single-minded, hot headed. Hercules tells him that's enough talk about him and he knows him.
Nebula defeats her drunken crewman and eventually the crew go to sleep scattered around the room. Iolaus in a hammock and Hercules on the floor. Hercules has a dream filled with images of flames and a wrapped body on a pyre and a figure in white robes walking away. The figure turns and it is Hercules. His other self tells him he's having doubts about what he's doing. The pyre burst into flames. Hercules admits he doesn't know if it's his place to get involved with these other gods and he hopes that he's doing the right thing. He other self asks him if he's prepared to fail. That evil is everywhere and cannot be defeated. It's even inside him. He lists the names of the people who have paid the price for his fighting evil. How can he save the world when he can't even save the people he loves. He holds up a twisted dagger before an eclipse. Hercules asks who he is and the other self replies that he is the darkness that Hercules holds. Hercules holds the top of the blade and the other pulls it down cutting Hercules' palm. Hercules jerks awake to see a shooting star through the grate over the hold. He wipes his hand over his face to find that there is blood on his hand.
They sight land the next morning. Iolaus asks Hercules what's the matter. He think Hercules looks like he's seen a ghost. Hercules replies that he had a nightmare and woke up with this. He shows him the hand. Nebula informs them that the ride ends here. they ask if she won't change her mind. She replies that you can't go home again.
Imara presents Hercules and Iolaus to Gilgamesh who's tending wounded. He greets them. Their food and water supplies are running short. Hercules asks why their gods have done this. Gilgamesh explains that their kingdom was attacked by an arm of pagans and many of their temples were destroyed. He led an army against them and when he returned he found his family dead. He fought for the gods and they did nothing to protect his family. He lost faith and now his people are paying the price. Hercules tells him that there must be a way to stop this. Gilgamesh says that there is.
He turns and finds Nebula standing there. They hug. She is sorry about his family. He replies that she is his family now. He shows them tablets that tell their history. When the Sumerians arrived in this land it was a desert and the gods restored the land surviving on nectar for seven days. If they can get some of that nectar they can restore the land. Gilgamesh wants Hercules to help him get the chalice with the nectar. Only a person with the blood of a god can survive the trials to reach it. Hercules is ready to go.
Gilgamesh and Nebula talk. He feels it's his fault that she left. She realizes that she should have been there for him. Iolaus admits to Hercules that he was right about Nebula. She's not bad. He wishes Iolaus luck. The two head off for the pyramid. They cross a desert.
As they rest Gilgamesh asks about the Greek gods. Hercules replies that he doesn't really think that they are too different from the Sumerian ones. Hercules has spent his life trying to fix the problems they create. Gilgamesh has been his life looking to his gods for guidance. Hercules tells him that he's lost family, too and as long as he has faith in people he can't give up his faith either.
Nebula and Iolaus tend the wounded. The news comes that the aqueduct has been damaged and they have been cut off. Nebula steps up to go take a look at what needs to be done. Imara reminds her that she is in Sumeria now and it would be improper for her to do a man's work. She is appalled that the men in the room won't step forward even in a crisis to work with a woman, Iolaus tries to defend her and she cuts him off telling him that she doesn't need his chivalry. She leaves. Iolaus follows.
Hercules and Gilgamesh arrive at the pyramid and enter it. They are faced with a shaft going up. The hieroglyphics on the wall say they must walk in the footsteps of another. The floor shifts beneath them and begins to rock. they get back to back which allows them to put their feet on opposite walls and walk up it while the floor falls away.
Iolaus chases Nebula who is outraged that people are dying and they still won't accept her help. Iolaus tells her that if she leaves now nothing ever will change. She left because she refused to fight a losing battle and Iolaus points out that she fights it everywhere but here. She wants to know who is he that he can talk to her that way. He tells her that he's someone who cares about her. She turns away. He continues telling her that if she leaves now she will regret it for the rest of her life. She turns back asking what she's supposed to do. He says for her to show them what she's shown him that she won't take orders from anyone but herself.
She turns to the crowd and whistles to get their attention. (This act tries to deafen Iolaus who covers his ears.) She has interrupted Imara praying to their gods for help and he's a little upset about that. He thinks that her behavior will upset the gods even more. She tells him that the gods are not going to help them. She tells the men in the area that she is assuming her brother's power in his absence as of now and they can stand there waiting for a miracle or they can fix this thing. Iolaus tells them he's thirsty and follows her, other men do as well.
Hercules and Gilgamesh arrive at the top to find another pit. The wall says that only a blind man can see his way through the eye. A cyclone rises from the bottom of the pit. Hercules tells him to jump. they have to find the eye of the whirlwind. They have to have blind faith and Hercules jumps. Gilgamesh follows. they are slowly lowered to an opening in the wall.
Work begins on the aqueducts. They repair the break and water is restored. She calls him Iolaus and thanks him. He wants to know what she's done with the real Nebula but he likes her like this. He makes her blush. They kiss.
Back at the castle they stand on a balcony. Nebula in a white robe and Iolaus vestless. for the first time she feels like she has a place here again. Iolaus wants to know why she looks so sad. She know that sooner or later he will go back to Greece and she might miss him. He wasn't expecting to hear that but he's glad she said it. She won't ask him to stay, she knows that he and Hercules have a destiny that's very different from hers. She knows that if he gave that up he'd always wonder if it was a mistake. He agrees and sighs. But if he leaves he'll always ask himself the same thing.
They reach the chalice. Gilgamesh tells Hercules to step forward and when he does Gilgamesh whacks him on the head with his helmet and as Hercules crumples to the floor in pain, Gilgamesh proceed to the chalice. He drinks then, destroys the chalice starting a circle of fire. He turns and says there is none left for the gods and soon the world will see the arrival of Dahak. His eyes turn solid black. He explains to Hercules that they are in the middle of a war. The Sumerian gods have been fighting Dahak above and the fall out is what has destroyed his lands. When he lost his family, he turned to Dahak. Hercules would like to meet him. Gilgamesh tells him that he already has, Dahak is the darkness that is closest to his heart. Without the nectar the gods won't be strong enough to stop Dahak's arrival. Now, all they need is the sacrifice of a warrior heart. He tells Hercules that he is blinded by his goodness. Gilgamesh vanishes and Hercules has to escape the flames.
Gilgamesh returns alone. Iolaus demands to know where Hercules is. Dahak replies that the one god has been good to him. He zaps Iolaus with a blue flame that leaves him paralyzed. Nebula wants to know what's happened to Gilgamesh. He appreciates her fire and spirit.
Hercules escapes the pyramid at a run.
Nebula has been tied down to an alter. A processional arrives with Imara carrying a dagger. Gilgamesh is calls on Dahak. He plans to offer Nebula's warrior heart to him. Hercules arrives near the castle and sees an eclipse. Nebula tells him that her soul will always belong to her. Hercules arrives and a fight breaks out between Hercules and Gilgamesh. Iolaus breaks free and fights the rest of Gilgamesh's men. Iolaus kills Imara and cuts Nebula free. She tells him she loves him as she wraps up in a piece of cloth just as Hercules lands hard on the altar. They run out of the way. Gilgamesh pounds on Hercules. Gilgamesh levitates the dagger and throws it at Nebula. Hercules calls a warning and Iolaus screams no! and jumps in front of her and takes the dagger in the chest. Nebula screams his name and runs to him.
Hercules attacks Gilgamesh and throws him into the flames. he runs to Iolaus. Hercules cradles him in his arms and tells him to hang on. Iolaus says he can't. Hercules says sure he can. Iolaus smiles at him with bloody teeth and says, "Hercules" and dies. Hercules shakes him and tells him, "not to give up on me." He yells, "Come on, don't you give up on me." He pulls his head to his chest.
Hercules stands next to a torch at a lakeside and Nebula walks up. She tells him that she's heard stories of sailor's who are lost at sea and see lights from the northern skies. They say the lights are really spirits that have come to light their way. She never believed that story until now. Hercules can't believe he's gone. She tells him it's not his fault. He stopped Gilgamesh and the people are safe. Hercules thinks that it should have been him. She tells him Iolaus loved him so much that he wouldn't have wanted that. Hercules says, "I know. He was my hero." He turns to look at Nebula and walks off into the desert.
Disclaimer: In order to protect the environment and for the benefit of all mankind, Imara's Beard was recycled and restored immediately upon completion of production of this motion picture.
Guest Stars: Gina Torres, Antonio Te Maioha
Written By: Lisa Klink
Directed By: Richard Compton
Iolaus is lying under a sheet on with is head uncovered. The medallion is broken around his neck. Hercules is lying sprawled on the floor. He prays to the gods of Sumeria because he doesn't know what else to do. He relives the moments leaving up to Iolaus' death. He rises and walks to Iolaus' body. He doesn't have the words to tell them what Iolaus meant to him. He asks them to look into his heart. He puts oil on Iolaus' forehead. Again he relives part of the fight when Iolaus was rescuing Nebula and Gilgamesh threw the dagger. Hercules asks for their help. He needs Iolaus back. He relives the final moments. He tells them Iolaus dies fighting for them. He wants them to show him that they have more compassion than the gods he knows. They don't seem to be listening.
two men come in and tell Hercules that they must prepare Iolaus' body for burial. Hercules won't let them touch him and shoves the man away. Nebula runs in. She tells them to leave. She tells Hercules that it's been three days. He should eat something, get some sleep. He tells her not until this is finished. If the gods won't listen to him, he'll go to them. She tells him that she thinks about him all the time, too but Hercules can't just walk into the underworld and take him back from the dead. Hercules tells her to watch him.
Hercules wants her to tell him how to get to the underworld. She refuses, he's not thinking straight. He insists that he is. She tells him this isn't what Iolaus would have wanted. He doesn't want Hercules to throw his life away. If Hercules goes she will go with him. Nebula thinks that Hercules needs a babysitter. He's not thrilled at the prospect. She tells him that the entrance to the underworld is at the mouth of the Euphrates in the darkest part of the jungle. She tells him Iolaus is gone and they have to accept that. He doesn't' know if he can.
She brings Hercules some food and finds that he's gone out the window and left without her.
Hercules is wearing Iolaus' medallion. Hercules finds a woman cooking at a fire and she asks him to join her. She asks him why a stranger is out here. He tells her that she'd think he was crazy if he told her. She replies that he is at the beginning of an extraordinary quest and there is doubt in his heart. That doesn't make him crazy. He asks if this is the standard fortune teller routine or if she's been sent by the gods. She is their servant as he is. Hercules doesn't eat her food. She has a brand on her palm. She tries to touch Hercules and he doesn't let her. She tells him not to listen to anyone who tells him not to go on. Only weak men fear the consequences of their actions. She says his eyes have not yet grown accustomed to darkness but they will. Then, she vanishes in a flash.
Hercules continues to find Nebula nearby. He doesn't' want her here. He thinks he can protect her by sending her back. She is trying to protect him and she is really tired of him acting like he's the only one who's lost something. Hercules gets angry and asks her what she's lost, a repeat performance of her one night stand? She punches him. She tells him she may not have known him as long but she loved him, too. He's the only man that she ever did love and he gave his life for her. Hercules can't say she didn't lose something. Hercules admits he shouldn't have said it. Hercules tells her he knew Iolaus his whole life and he saw the way they looked at each other. He cared for her a great deal. Hercules doesn't know why he said what he said. He apologizes.
Nebula says it's a long hike up the river and she's brought a crew and some supplies. She figures it's about three days. He tells her to go on and he'll catch up. Hercules doesn't know what's happening to him.
They travel the river in small row boats. Hercules and Nebula are together in one. She figures two more days on the river then they have to walk through uncharted territory. A man tells them that they have only legend to go on from there to reach the temple of Dumuzi. He is the gatekeeper to the underworld. Hercules hopes he's feeling cooperative.
They see a figure standing on the shore. They stop. It is a statue. The eyes of the statue have been desecrated and it means they risk their souls if they travel further. Hercules asks about a mark on the statue's chest. It matches the mark branded on the woman's hand. Hercules is told she was sent by the gods to warn him. She appears only to the damned. The gods don't want them to go on. Hercules picks up the statue and throws it. He tells them anyone who wants to leave can go. Where he comes from you make your own destiny. Nebula agrees to stay. The others will stay as well to protect their queen even if she is following a damned soul. Hercules tells him he's damned if he doesn't go.
They camp for the night. Hercules sits off by himself. One of Nebula's men tells her he's a little disappointed in the legendary Hercules. He thought he would be a little more inspiring. Hercules tells him that he came looking for a cheap thrill. He's not here to entertain him. Danaeus walks off. Nebula calls after him but doesn't follow.
That night Danaeus goes missing. They find a piece of his shirt. They go looking for him. Hercules finds him. He's been stabbed and stuck to a tree. He is all white and nasty looking. Nebula's man what to go back before Hercules dooms them all. He accuses Hercules of gladly leading them all to their deaths in his crazy quest to save his dead friend. Hercules tells him Iolaus' isn't dead until he says so. He grabs the guy around the neck. Nebula stops him and goes after Hercules who's stalked off into the trees. She finds him splashing water on his face. She asks him what's going on. Hercules doesn't know. All he feels is rage. It's more than grief but he doesn't know what it is. She tells him he's Hercules and reminds him that means he's at his best when things are at their worst. He gives people hope when they don't have any. He's going to be find because he always is. He nods and goes to bury Danaeus.
He digs the hole and stops to get a drink. A hand comes up out of the ground. He recognizes it as Iolaus' hand. He pulls him up. It is Iolaus but his all white and pasty like the other guy. He says, "I knew you'd come and get me buddy." Hercules says, "I couldn't give up on you." Iolaus says in a weird voice, "You should have." Hercules wakes up on the ground. It was a dream.
They continue on the river. It gets foggy. They see a wrecked ship and bodies in the water, white pasty bodies. They stop to investigate the wreck. They don't' know what the men were fighting. They all look like Danaeus. Nebula guesses giant bat. Hercules gives her a look. The bodies start twitching and come to life. The zombies attack and they fight their way out of the ship.
They don't die. Hercules gets oil on his sword and lights it on fire. Then, finally that destroys them. He throws the sword to Nebula. In the process of the fight Nebula is scratched by one of them on her arm. It draws blood. It was Danaeus. He asks her to kill him and she does. Hercules gets another sword for himself. They get out of the ship as Hercules finishes up. The oil is leaking everywhere. He turns and lights the oil and the whole ship goes up. The explosion throws Hercules clear.
They continue on foot. Nebula's men tell her that they would rather live with the shame of desertion than to stay with her. She agrees and sends them all back. She is bandaging her arm. They urge her to return with them. They don't want to lose another leader. She assures them they won't.
She and Hercules travel on. She tells Hercules that Danaeus seemed to be resisting something. Hercules tells that it must be the gatekeeper to the underworld stopping their souls from crossing over. She wonders why. She drops her pack and seems weak. Hercules helps her over to a rock to rest. He wants to look at her arm. He unwraps the bandage and sees that it's turning white and pasty like the zombies. He tells her she's not going to die. That's what she's afraid of. She wants him to promise he will kill her before she becomes like Danaeus and the others. He says it won't come to that. He turns back to her from getting the water skin and find she's got a dagger to her breast. He finally promises. They continue.
She stops. She can hear a sound, like a horn. She grabs her head and screams. Hercules catches her. She hears him calling her. they end up on a platform with that symbol on the top. Hercules opens it and uses a vine to descend into the opening.
The place appears empty. Hercules investigates. Nebula drops into the chamber with a growl and attacks Hercules. She wants him to kill her or she will kill him. Hercules tells her that Dumuzi is making her do this and she should fight him. They fight. He refuses to kill her and ties her up on the alter instead.
Hercules continues into the temple. He finds a portal thing (looks like that liquid stuff on Stargate) He tries putting his hand through. Then all of him. A voice tells him he can't sneak up on a mirror because his reflection always stares back at him. There are more of these strange mirrors here. Dumuzi appears in the mirrors and tells Hercules he's been listening to his own lies for too long. Hercules says Dumuzi has something that belongs to him. Dumuzi guesses a soul and wants to know why he should give it up. Hercules says he will kill him if he doesn't. Dumuzi blames him for the destruction of the other gods. He let Gilgamesh have the chalice which was their only sustenance. His defeat of Dahak came at a high price. Dumuzi had no choice but to find another source of sustenance. So, he began feeding on human souls. The other gods are dead because of Hercules. Hercules doesn't care. Dumuzi tells Hercules that he killed Iolaus. It was Iolaus' loyalty that killed him. Loyalty to Hercules. Dumuzi tells him he allowed Iolaus to be sacrificed in his name and that makes Hercules no different than the gods who play with mortal lives. Iolaus dies fighting for what he believed in but it was Hercules who taught him to believe in it.
Hercules jumps through the mirror and fights Dumuzi. Dumuzi tells him that his rage betrays him. Hercules has become everything he despises. Dumuzi thinks Hercules' soul will sustain him for eternity. Hercules demand Iolaus' soul back. Dumuzi tells him that Iolaus crossed over before he began collecting souls and he is lost to him forever. Hercules throws him across the room and screams "Iolaus". It causes all the mirrors to shatter and Dumuzi is caught in the middle. Hercules watches as the lost souls are freed and destroy Dumuzi.
Hercules sits on the floor and cries.
Back at Nebula's castle. Hercules stands next to Iolaus' body. He's been wrapped up like a mummy. Nebula comes in. Hercules asks how she's feeling. She says she's better and asks about him. When does he start back to Greece. He says he's not going. There's nothing there for him. She tells him he can't let this destroy him. He tells her Iolaus is dead and he killed him. She tries to console him but he won't let her. He tells her he is damned and so are all the people he loves. He gives her Iolaus' medallion and tells her he's going to learn from his mistakes and disappear. She tells him to take her ship. It's time for her to stay put and be serious about this queen thing. He tells her it suits her. She expects her ship back someday. He nods and turns to leave. she calls him back to tell him that regardless of what he thinks of himself, he did save her life and all those souls found peace because of him and that's worth something. He walks out.
Disclaimer: No Zombies were chomping at the bit during the production of this motion picture.
Guest Stars: Tamara Gorski, Nicko Vella, Stuart Devenie, Alistair Browning
Written By: Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman
Directed By: Philip Sgriccia
A woman wearing a white robe with a staff sings in Gaelic. Other dressed like her gather. An older man with a hood comes up to the well they are gathering at and tells them a hero comes from the seas.
Hercules is on the ship and there is a storm. He climbs up to the crow's nest. He leans against the top of the mast and yells at the storm. He tells it that he doesn't care anymore and they can destroy the world if they want. A wave nearly over takes the ship from the side and Hercules is thrown from the crow's nest. He lands on the deck below. He remembers Iolaus' head being wrapped in the bandages and he yells. "It should have been me!" The ship rolls over.
Hercules crawls up the beach and lies down. Then, he realizes there are people standing on the hillside. They bless his salvation and come forward. He rises to meet them. They welcome him to Eire. He tells them they don't want to be his friend. Bronagh invites him to come with them and rest. He'll need his strength. He tells them his strength is useless. They have been expecting him. He is the chosen one.
Bronagh tells Hercules that they are the defenders of the druid order and Hercules is the champion they have been waiting for. Hercules laughs and tells them he landed there by accident. They don't believe in accidents and the druid priests have called him there to lead them to freedom. He bows before Hercules and tells him he is all they have left. Hercules makes him stand and tells them there is nothing he can do. The druid asks to at least be heard out.
A woman, Morrigan, stands atop a waterfall and releases a raven. It chases a man in a kilt. The woman has solid black eyes. She sees through the bird's eyes. She leaps off the waterfall and into the water. she rises and runs at amazing speeds across the water in chase. She catches him and asks him where to find the druids. Now her eyes are green. She wants the druids dead because they don't want the people thinking that these false idols the druids worship are worthy of it. He is not afraid to die. She kills him brutally.
Hercules is taken to meet Mabon who is the leader of the druids. Mabom is a child. He tells Hercules that his heart beats reluctantly but it beats. He tells him that the knowledge of all things comes to those who open their hearts. The druids brought him here because their way of life is in danger. They draw their power from mankind and that people should honor one another. When the gods saw the people embracing the druid way of life they brought Morrigan, to hunt the druids down. The few who survived her attacks were left to practice their faith in secret. He tells Hercules that he is out of balance but he must not deny his nature. Hercules tells him that he's been fighting the gods his whole life and if he really cares about the Celts he'll tell them to follow Morrigan so they will have a chance to live their lives. Mabon replies that a life without freedom is no life and Hercules knows that in his heart. Hercules tells him that he can't help them and walks out.
Morrigan prays to Kernunnos who appears before her and tells her that Hercules has come to lead the Celts against them. She plans to give him the welcome he deserves.
Her bird finds Hercules in the Celt village. She appears and he tells her he wants no part of any of this. He is nobody's champion. But the people think he is so she plans to make an example of him. He leaves. She chases him down and punches him. He has a hard time following her with her speed. She throws him into a haystack. He is no match for her speed in his current condition. She speaks to the people and tells them the war will end when they tell her where the druids are. She knocks Hercules out and leaves.
Mabon meets with the other druids and their protectors. They are concerned that Hercules didn't even put up a fight. If Morrigan defeated the chosen one what chance do they have. Mabon tells them to keep up their faith and pray for the chosen one. Mabon approaches the well and prays.
The druids gather and bring energy from the land and trees. Mabon is told by the older leader that the flame of justice will go out forever if the chosen one does not take his rightful place. They must honor his decision if the chosen one decides to leave them. He is not one of them. The old man will die soon and the younger man is to take his place.
Hercules comes to. He has been dressed in Celtic clothes. Mabon tells him that his clothes are being mended. Hercules doesn't want the help. Mabon offers him a glass of something and tells him to drink. Hercules doesn't take it. Mabon tells him that doubt and rage posses him but that from the conflict will come growth. Mabon tells him that he is punishing himself for his friend's death and that is why he cannot defeat Morrigan. He champions mankind with all it's flaws and he cannot forgive himself. He doesn't know who he is anymore. Hercules lies back down and tells Mabon that it doesn't matter who his is. Mabon offers to help him find his path if he will stay. Hercules says that for first time in his life he doesn't know what to do. Hercules wishes he could stop fighting all the gods. Mabon tells him that fighting the gods is who he is. Hercules wishes he could just be mortal. Mabon replies that the gods are a part of him and when is runs from them, he runs from himself.
A Celt comes to Morrigan and asks for his family to be spared and he tells her that they are hiding one of the druid priests. She tells him to go and take his family.
Hercules tells Mabon that their land is beautiful. Mabon tells him that he must stop thinking of himself as separate from the land or he will never find illumination. The power comes from the land and you cannot receive illumination unless you earn it. Morrigan's powers have been reinforced by the gods, they do not come from the land. Once Hercules receives illumination he will hear the song of faith again.
Mabon wants Hercules to catch a nearby white horse. He has to move at the speed of the animal and think like the animal. He heads out chasing the horse. He finally takes a different route and talks his way to the horse. The only way to think like an animal is not think at all. After telling Mabon the lesson he has learned he asks Mabon if he's supposed to become one with the shrubbery. Mabon points out that his humor is returning.
Morrigan tries to drown Bronagh in the well where Mabon lives. But they won't betray him. She refuses to kill him because it would please him to be with his sister. She sends her raven to find Mabon and Hercules.
Mabon tells Hercules that his true strength comes from his heart. Hercules says that Iolaus told him that once. Mabon says his friend knew him well and that he needs to listen to his heart again. He should slow it so that it can sustain him when he needs it most. even under the water. Hercules jumps into the lake and Mabon turns the surface to ice so that Hercules cannot come out.
Hercules panics at first then floats through the water. We hear his heart slow, then he imagines he's on shore again. The ice recedes and he surfaces. He has never felt outside of himself before. Mabon tells him that it is only with heart that we can truly see. Hercules tells Mabon that he appreciates everything that he's doing for him but he doesn't think that he can be the man Mabon needs. When Iolaus died, part of him died with him. Mabon tells him that grief is not a weakness. It takes strength to mourn. Mabon sends Hercules into the cave and he will not ask anything else of him. Hercules asks what is in the cave and Mabon tells him nothing but what he takes with him.
Hercules enters. The raven is there watching. Hercules hears whistling and finds Iolaus tending a fire. He moves to sit with him. Iolaus greets him and asks him if he got lost. Hercules guesses so. Iolaus says that 's a first and asks if he has caught anything. Hercules doesn't understand. Iolaus explains, he lights a fire and Hercules catches a fish. Iolaus tells him that he got tired of waiting and caught Mr. Rabbit. Hercules is surprised that Iolaus is cooking. Iolaus never cooks. They argue. Hercules says alright there was once over a tavern maid. Iolaus lit her dress on fire and Hercules threw her in the river. Iolaus says they should eat. Hercules says this isn't right, Iolaus is dead. Iolaus was hoping that he wouldn't notice. Hercules says this isn't real. Iolaus says that it is a matter of perspective. Just because he's dead, doesn't mean he won't be with him. Hercules reminds him that it was Hercules' fault. Iolaus tells him the things they did together really meant something. When he died he was doing what he loved most. He was by Hercules' side and fighting the good fight. If he had to do it again, he wouldn't change a thing.
Mabon waits outside. Morrigan arrives. Mabon tells her that she's not who she thinks she is. She will be made to answer for her crimes. He ignores her weapon. She wants him to lead her to the druids or she will kill everyone on the island.
Hercules emerges from the cave and Morrigan's men laugh at him. Hercules laughs, too and then beats them up. (young Herc barn fighting music, guess that means we've been reborn anew) Hercules asks one of her men where they are. They don't know.
Mabon tells Morrigan that the gods will never win the people's devotion through fear. She has already lost. Her gods offer order, his druids offer teachings. He tells her that mankind's duty is not to serve the gods. Mabon hums and opens that doorway to where the druids are hiding.
Hercules runs through the woods and finds the horse again and remembers to follow his instincts.
The old druid is dying. She picks up the sword his holds and stabs him with it. She is engulfed in white light and the man dies. They then chant and circle Morrigan. She is now a druid and in charge of protecting human virtue. When she killed the druid, she takes his place. They each represent a virtue. She has become the guardian of justice. She says there will be no justice. Hercules stops her from killing the rest of them. They fight. This time Hercules holds his own against her. She throws her knife at him. He catches it easily and throws it against a stone breaking it. They continue to fight. She tries to strangle him. The druid woman who sang earlier, sings again. He hears Mabon's voice telling him that when he illumination he will hear Faith singing again. He stops fighting Morrigan and listens. Then he breaks free and tells her that he is the chosen one. He can move as fast as her now. He throws her in the well. She climbs out and plows into a stone which nearly falls on her unconscious body. Hercules stops it and pushes it back up. Mabon tells Hercules that if Morrigan dies the spirit of justice will die with her. Hercules picks her up and carries her to the woods. The druids tell Hercules that he has made it safe for them to return to the world again. Mabon thinks she's well-suited for her new job. She took the justice from the land and now she can return it. Hercules doesn't think she will. Mabon tells him with his help anything is possible. Hercules doesn't do babysitting. Mabon tells him that the he has lost and suffered but the light inside him burns brighter than a thousand suns and he will succeed, he always does. Hercules thanks him. Mabon returns the thanks. The druids disappear.
Disclaimer: No magic munchkins preaching the virtues of Ancient Celtic Philosophy were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Guest Stars: Robert Trebor, Hilary McMillan, Bruce Campbell
Written By: Paul Robert Coyle
Directed By: John Cameron
A Sultan is collecting artifacts from Greece to take home. Salmoneus represents a group of artists and sells a collection of their Hercules pictures to him. (Same art from "If I Had A Hammer"). The Sultan gives Salmoneus a choice between payment in money or selecting something from his antiquities.
Autolycus is in the middle of breaking into the very same place.
Salmoneus can take as much from the antiquity room as he can carry before the time runs out. The Sultan thinks he's a greedy fool. No one ever takes the gold. Salmoneus happily snaps up the gold until he sees a beautiful blue lamp. Autolycus hears Salmoneus drop the gold items as he climbs into the chamber. Autolycus tries to grab the lamp, Salmoneus tries to stop him. When they move the lamp the floor drops out and They both hang from the rope and end up rolling on the floor fighting over the lamp.
Autolycus pops the cork on the lamp with both of them touching it and a genie comes out and tells them that their wish in her command but they have to share their three wishes. Autolycus and Salmoneus continue to argue over the wishes so she gives them each one wish and they must share the third. They agree. The Sultan sends his men in to remove the body. Autolycus throws his grappling hook and Salmoneus jumps on his back and they both escape out the roof with the genie following. The Sultan wants their heads for stealing his lamp.
Autolycus thinks this is too easy. He'd rather steal his wealth. Salmoneus doesn't care he just needs the money. He's had a few deals go bad on him lately and he's concerned that he might have lost his touch.
Falafel offers them a chance to try his new drink, coffee. Autolycus seems to like it but Salmoneus makes a face. They spy the genie and head after her.
She decides they need to set some ground rules. All wishes must be for personal edification, no selfless acts of altruism. There goes Autolycus' plan for world peace. They decide to confer before making decisions. Autolycus thinks there is a catch to this. The Sultan's guards show up and they run. The genie warns them that if they lose the lamp, no wishes. Autolycus fights with the guards while Salmoneus runs with the lamp.
Salmoneus tries to make his wish and Autolycus stops him. The genie is bored and so gives them a freebie and pops them all to somewhere else away from the Sultan's guards. Autolycus wishes for invisibility. Salmoneus wishes for self-improvement, more in touch with his inner child and also tougher, he can't decide. He wishes there were a way he could get more done. She tells them their wishes will have come true by the time they wake up tomorrow. She tells them to start thinking about wish number three.
Autolycus checks them into an inn for the night under assumed names and the only room they had left was the bridal suite. Salmoneus decides they will flip a coin over who gets the giant bed. Salmoneus loses and he decides that he gets the extra blanket and the lamp.
The next morning, Autolycus wakes up to find Salmoneus sleeping on either side of him and at the foot of the bed. There are three of them. Salmoneus wakes up and sees the other two of him. Autolycus wonders about his invisibility and runs to the mirror. He can't see himself in the mirror but Salmoneus can still see him.
One of the Salmoneus' is the whiny, sensitive, child-like him and the other is the tough, athletic him. Autolycus heads out to the Sultan's treasure trove, to steal him blind and leaves Salmoneus to take care of the lamp.
Autolycus has fun playing with the Sultan while he threatens his guards with what will happen if they don't get his lamp back. They leave and the genie pops in to watch the wisher's dream come true. Autolycus discovers that if he's invisible, he can't touch anything, so he can't steal anything. He asked for invisibility, not intangibility. She says the request was subject to interpretation. He also didn't say anything about being uninvisible. He has to warn Salmoneus about the guards and discovers that he can walk through walls.
Touch Sal wants to go out and find some action. Autolycus warns him about the guards just as they burst in. Tough Sal gets caught. The real Salmoneus leaves with Autolycus and they realize that they have to go back for the lamp.
Falafel's coffee shop is going well. Whimpy Sal is there and he's crying that he wants him mommy. Falafel gives him some coffee. This Sal likes it and wants more. Falafel tell shim he'll have to pay or trade for more. He has the lamp.
Tough Sal is brought before the Sultan who wants to know where the lamp is. Sal wants to know what it's worth to him as he knows where it is genie and all. The Sultan didn't know about the genie. Sal offers to squeal for gold. He tells him it was in the room at the inn and he leaves happily. The Sultan orders his guard after him.
The Real Salmoneus and Autolycus can't find the lamp in their room and think the Sultan's men got it. They hear the guards trying to get in and realize they don't have it. Autolycus is still invisible so they don't see him as they tear the room apart.
Whimpy Salmoneus is happily drinking his coffee and is grabbed by the Sultan's guards. The Sultan orders his tongue be cut out for lying to him. So, Sal tells them he gave it to the bean man.
Falafel is using a blue lamp to serve coffee. The guards grab the lamp and take it. Only it was the wrong lamp. The guards return the lamp and he rubs it and commands the genie to appear but nothing happens. Sal can't explain it. He is ordered to summon the genie or die. The Sultan realizes it's the wrong lamp and orders Sal to the shopping block.
The guards return to Falafel's and hunt for the lamp. The genie appears and Autolycus tries to charm her. He tries to charm her into making him tangible but she doesn't buy it. Three women in towels come up and slap Salmoneus. He yells that it wasn't him and tries to explain while the Tough Sal watches. The guards see the Real Salmoneus and grab him.
Autolycus runs into Tough Sal and Whiny Sal shows up. Tough Sal slaps him.
This lamp doesn't work either. He orders the lamp returned to the treasure room and Salmoneus have something lower than his tongue cut off. Yikes!
Autolycus and the two Salmoneus' and the genie arrive. Tough Sal fights the guards because Autolycus can't touch anybody. The Real Salmoneus steps on his guard and shoves him and gets Whimpy Sal to untie him. Autolycus pretends to be a fly bothering the Sultan. He talks to the Sultan and makes him paranoid. They all get away. The genie really likes Tough Sal.
Salmoneus and Autolycus both regret their wishes. They agree to work together to get the lamp back. They try to break back into the treasure trove again. Whimpy Sal is afraid of the height climbing the rope. They all make it. Autolycus instructs Real Salmoneus in how to get the lamp without setting off the trap door.
The Sultan invites another man to take what he can carry in the time allowed from the room. They have to hurry. They get the lamp but the Sultan hears and sends his men in. They all hide in the room. Whimpy Sal throws balls in their path and trips them. They escape with the lamp. They rub it and the genie appears. They wish for giving up their last wish. Autolycus explains that the wishes are really curses and they don't want any more misery. She accepts and then informs them that now that their three wishes are complete their souls are all hers. It was in the fine print that they didn't want to read. If they don't exercise all wishes they forfeit the whole thing and the other two Sals disappear and Auto becomes visible and the genie takes them inside the lamp. There are a bunch of other guys in there as well.
She heads back outside to find another victim or two before calling it quits for a few centuries. The lamp is returned to the treasure trove.
Autolycus and Salmoneus and the others rock the lamp and get it to turn over. It trips the trap door and rolls to one side. When it falls they all return to normal size. The genie shows up and so does the Sultan. A fight breaks out. Autolycus backs the Sultan up and he trips over the lamp on the floor and falls into the pit. The guards leave.
Autolycus admits that breaking out was his idea, Salmoneus takes the blame as well. The genie is upset that they all want to leave her and cries. Autolycus thinks that she's just lonely. The men think that she's selfish. They confer and offer the genie a deal. She tricked them out of their third wish so they offer to ban together and wish her out of the genie business and throw in a few extras if she would grant them a final wish. She agrees. The men thank them. Autolycus vows to never wish for anything he hasn't' honestly earned or stolen. Salmoneus agrees, one of him was enough to go around.
The genie is happily in her bottle with a whole gang of doubles of herself.
Autolycus and Salmoneus part ways.
Disclaimer: No cool, blue bongs that resemble Aladdin's lamp were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Guest Stars: Tamara Gorski, Karl Urban, Nicko Vella, Stuart Devenie
Written By: Gene O'Neill and Noreen Tobin
Directed By: John Laing
Hercules watches Morrigan sleep and wonders if Mabon was right about her. The Celts arrive at the cottage. They've come to execute Morrigan. Hercules explains that she is one of the druids now. Bronagh reminds Hercules that she works for Kernunnos and another man reveals that there is an armada about a day off the coast. They believe Kernunnos and Morrigan are responsible for it. He describes the warships as having 4 symbols on the sails. Hercules draws the Roman letters representing Julius Caesar in the dirt and the man identifies them. Caesar is coming.
Hercules returns to the cottage to find Mabon inside. Mabon tells he's doing a good job caring for her. Hercules still thinks that she cant' be reformed. Mabon tells Hercules that he will help Morrigan embrace her mortal heart. Mabon explains that her powers come from the blood that she gets from Kernunnos. This blood clouds her mind and Kernunnos will not let go of her easily. Hercules still cannot see the good inside her.
Hercules pours a cup of tea for Morrigan. She wakes and throws the wet cloth from her head at him. He gives her the tea and she throws that, too. She wants to know if he's preparing her for her execution. He tells her that he's trying to protect her. She doesn't buy it and tries to get up. He shoves her back down on the pallet and slaps the cloth back on her forehead. He tells her that she hates herself as much as the Celts. She admits that her mortal half makes her weak like it does Hercules. He reminds her that she's the one in bed. She tells him not to make the mistake of thinking there's a little good in everyone cause the reverse is true. There's a little evil in everyone. He tells her to get some rest and opens the door to leave. She tells him that she won't be there when he gets back. He says she will and leaves. She falls back into the bed.
Hercules arrives at the local tavern to find that there is a full blown brawl in progress. The Celts are arguing over which of them they are willing to follow. Hercules and Bronagh wade in and break it up. Hercules tells them if they don't join forces they will never defeat Caesar. Connor suggests buying off Caesar. Hercules tells him that it won't matter, Caesar will just take their gold and defeat them anyway. The Celts walk out.
Caesar has sent some of his troops ashore and plans to surround the southern end of the island with his ships. Connor arrives with the gold. Connor asks what it will take to get Caesar to leave. Caesar wants unconditional surrender and every person on the island swears their allegiance to Rome. Connor offers him the gold. Caesar tells him that he will save lives if he can persuade his people to submit because he plans to take the island with or without their help. Caesar offers Connor 3 more chests like the one Connor brought to ease his conscious. Connor's conscious is eased with 10 chests. Caesar has a message for him to deliver.
Morrigan ransacks the cottage to find a bowl and she calls upon Kernunnos to give her blood. He knocks her of her feet and appears. He wants to make sure that her new job hasn't affected her work for him. Kernunnos tells her to contact Caesar and offer her services to him against the Celts. He warns her against letting her emotions lead her astray.
Morrigan finds Hercules on the beach where he's putting sharp points on some logs with an ax. She'd help but she's too weak without her dose of blood. She's going through withdrawal from the blood. Hercules tells her that she'll never find her real strength until she breaks free of Kernunnos.
Hercules sees Connor's body washed up on the beach. Caesar's forces have attacked the village and burned it. Morrigan sees a man holding his dead child in his arms and it seems to affect her. Hercules tells her to stay there on the edge of town, the Celts don't need to see her. She agrees.
Hercules tells them they don't have time to bury the dead. They can run or stand and fight. He won't tell them what to do but he'll help which ever way they decide. They decide to fight. Hercules starts giving orders and organizing them. He tells Niles to hide their supplies in the sacked village. Caesar won't look where he's already been. He asks for 20 swimmers to go to the beach and more men to begin digging tunnels. Morrigan unsteadily walks away.
Caesar gives orders as well after hearing the reports of the sacking. His scribe comments that this may be the shortest conquest in the history of Rome. Caesar reminds him that there is always one unpredictable variable.
The swimmers have taken the sharpened logs and stand them up on the bottom so that they tear into the hulls of the Roman ships. Caesar's ship is hit first. He orders the fleet stopped.
Hercules reminds the Celts that this means that Caesar will just land elsewhere. The Celts see Morrigan. Hercules stops them from hurting her. She has a fever and after threatening the Celts, passes out. Hercules catches her and tells the Celts they have other worries right now and she's his responsibility. They agree to leave her alone for the moment.
Hercules takes her back to his cottage and puts her to bed. He gives her water when she wakes and tells her her fever broke. She accepts the drink. She remarks that people will think they re in love. He doubts it. He promised Mabon he'd take care of her. She think she's just a debt he owes the druids. He saw her face in the village when she saw the people with the bodies of their children. She denies it. He notes that she's not shaking anymore and without the blood she's more human than she wants to admit.
Caesar examines Celtic prisoners and orders that they be put to work on repairing the ships. Morrigan arrives and fights with Caesar's men. Caesar greets her and she tells him she doesn't remember inviting him to her island. She offers him some information that Hercules is the leader he's seeking. Caesar's heard the legends about him. She also tells him that Hercules has the Celts digging tunnels outside Innisfree. He wants to know the reason for her generosity. She says it's between her and Hercules and leaves.
The Roman's march into a tunnel. One of them notices some liquid on the ground. It's oil but he doesn't have time to sound the alarm before an arrow lights it on fire and the Romans are trapped inside. The Celts with Hercules swing out of the trees and take care of the rest of the men.
Morrigan again asks for blood and this time Kurnunnos obliges her. Hercules knocks it out of her hand. He knew he could count on her to betray them. She is angry because he used her to trick Caesar. He tells her she can't run away from herself. The pain she's inflicted on the world has affected her and her life is about to change. He tells her that Kernunnos is using her. She says that she used him. Hercules realizes that she and Kernunnos are lovers. She says that was long ago but that she has to obey him. Hercules says he doesn't have to.
Hercules goes to visit Kernunnos. He tells him that he's here to see to it that he doesn't hurt Morrigan anymore. Kernunnos introduces Hercules to Brigid, their daughter, and the reason Morrigan can't break free of him.
Hercules joins Morrigan by a lake. He understands now. She asks if Brigid is alright. He says yes. Kernunnos has kept Brigid from her mother for a long time. She feels like she's woken up from a bad dream into a worse one. She agrees Kernunnos is using her, but if she defies him, he'll hurt Brigid. Hercules tells her that she has a choice. The druids gave her a gift that she has to learn how to use. He offers to help. She refuses, saying she has to do it alone. He wishes her luck.
Caesar isn't thrilled to learn that they have lost an entire battalion. The other two legions captured over 300 Celts. Caesar orders half to be released after they cut off their right arms.
Morrigan goes to Kernunnos. She finds Brigid there. The child doesn't remember her mother. Morrigan signs to her. Brigid remembers and runs to her. Kurnunnos appears and offer her blood. She refuses and says she only wants her daughter. He offers Brigid the blood and Morrigan knocks it away. She offers to leave Eire and then there will be no justice. She wants to take Brigid with her. He wants things back the way they were but she has to start drinking again. He gives her some time to think about it and leaves with Brigid.
A centurion reports that the campfires in the valley have been reduced by half. Releasing the maimed Celts has caused desertion among the Celts remaining to fight.
Hercules grabs Morrigan in the forest and tells her to whisper. They lie in the forest. Hercules tells her she's not alone. She notices there are fewer fires. Hercules says that's to make Caesar think they have had deserters. She tells him "we" are outnumbered 5 to 1. He comments on the "we". She nods at the change in her. She tells him she won't get Brigid back without a fight. He tells her his offer still stands. She was hoping he'd say that. Now, she thinks there is good and evil in everyone, it's just a matter of which side you choose to nurture. Spears begin to fly. The men by the fires are already dead.
The Romans are ordered into the forest but when they cross the battlefield they realize it's a trap. The Celts jump out of holes in the ground and charge in from the forest and attack. Morrigan fights with them. Hercules is still using his new found speed. Morrigan also finds she has certain strengths. She sees Kernunnos on the top of a cliff with Brigid and begins climbing the cliff.
Caesar decides to return to his ship.
Morrigan tells Kurnunnos that she's taking her daughter with her. Kurnunnos throws them both over the cliff. Morrigan catches a vine but Brigid continues to fall. Hercules catches her at the bottom and passes her off to Bronagh. Hercules runs up the hill and fights with Kurnunnos. Morrigan tries to climb back up to the top. She hollars for Hercules to help as the vine breaks. He throws another vine down to her and ties it off at the top. Morrigan arrives at the top to find Kurnunnos at Hercules' feet. Kurnunnos offers Hercules Morrigan's job. He is impressed with Hercules' rage. Hercules is about to kill him with an ax. Morrigan stops him and asks if this is what he really wants, to kill in cold blood. Hercules tells Kurnunnos he's lucky she's here. She asks about Brigid and Hercules assures her she's safe. Kurnunnos runs for it and Morrigan grabs an ax and throws it striking Kurnunnos in the heart. Hercules tells her justice has been served. Mabon appears and tells Morrigan that she truly is one of them now. She promises not to let them down.
Caesar takes the scribe's account and tears it up, throwing it overboard. He tells the scribe that he will begin again and this time write that the Roman legions never landed on the isle of Eire. The scribe asks if the people of Rome deserve the truth. Caesar tells him that the people of Rome need to know that there no enemy they cannot conquer. The scribe tells him it's a lie. Caesar has him thrown overboard.
The Celts celebrate. They give Hercules the clothes of a Celtic leader. Hercules joins Morrigan farther up the beach watching Brigid play in the sand. She's missed a lot of her life. Hercules tells her that she can make up for lost time. Morrigan is concerned about Brigid knowing about all the terrible things she's done. Hercules tells Morrigan that she can't change the past but she can make this land a safe place for her daughter to grow up in. He believes in her. Brigid brings over a shell to show Morrigan and they hug.
Disclaimer: No scribes intent on writing the truth and nothing but the truth were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Guest Stars: Ben Reed, Tamara Gorski, Ian Hughes, Rupert Cocks, Peter McCauley
Teleplay by: Gerry Conway
Story by: Paul Robert Coyle
Directed by: John Laing
Hercules is running through snow covered woods. He runs to a house and opens the doors. There is a man inside with long, straight, blond hair. His back is to Hercules. Hercules says "Iolaus" and dives at him as a dagger flies through the air. He deflects the dagger and the man turns. It is not Iolaus but someone else asking Hercules for help. Hercules asks who he is. They both turn as an axe flies toward them. They both wake from the dream screaming.
Hercules lies back and Mabon asks his if it was a bad dream. Hercules asks if Druids ever knock. Hercules tells Mabon about the dream. Mabon informs him that it wasn't just a dream but a vision who what might happen. Hercules has to go and help. Mabon is concerned about him leaving Morrigan. Hercules looks in on her sleeping in another cottage with her daughter. He prepares to leave and tells Mabon to assure her he will return. Mabon reminds him that when he leaves this land his gift of speed will not go with him. Hercules says he'll get by. Mabon also reminds him that the man he goes to save is not Iolaus. Hercules knows this but he can't let him die anyway. He leaves assuring Mabon that he'll be back.
Someone paints a series of pictures of Hercules traveling in the boat. (It looks like the same boat he came in with the eye painted on the bow. Didn't that boat crash in the storm and will the resurrected boat survive to be given back to Nebula?)
The illustrator is an old woman who tells a younger, blond man (Loki) that he comes, riding his destiny. Loki asks about his brother and if Hercules' coming will affect his fate. The woman tells him that the future is closed to man and gods alike and so it must remain.
Hercules arrives on shore in his row boat and wonders why he's chasing dreams. He hears a woman screaming and realizes nothing changes anywhere. He runs off after the scream.
A woman is held in a rack and two drunks are throwing axes at her. Hercules arrive in time to stop them from accidentally hurting her and lets the two drunks knock themselves out. He releases the girl and she kicks him for knocking out her brother and father. Another man comes up and warns Hercules about interfering and slams his hammer on the floor, knocking Hercules out of the building (the same one from Hercules' dream) through the roof.
Thor runs outside and is astounded to find Hercules alive and asks if he is the spore of the Frost Giants. They argue. The long haired, blond from the vision arrives and breaks them up reminding Thor that their father doesn't want him fighting with mortals anymore. The new man is Balder and he also remembers Hercules from their shared dream.
Balder tells Thor to leave Hercules alone as he is here to help him. Thor is not convinced and tells the Greek to go home. He warns his brother against going to outsiders for help. He leaves in the clap of one of his thunderbolts.
Hercules and Balder walk into the village and discuss their dream. Balder says why he needs Hercules to help him is a question for the Norns. The illustrator of the book inwhich all things are recorded. The woman Hercules saved was accused of stealing someone else's husband. Her family was trying to prove her innocence by chopping off her pigtails. It is a Viking tradition. There are people fighting all around them. Hercules wonders if maybe he should just go back to Eire.
They are approached by the other blond man who introduces himself as Loki. Loki tells them the mortals are praying to Balder again. They want him to heal someone. Loki and Hercules follow to watch as Balder heals him. Hercules comments that he hasn't' met many gods who cared that much for mortals. Loki says that he is one in a million. Loki goes on to say that their father, Odin, and Thor live only for war and if not for Balder, this land would have been destroyed long ago. Balder is the only hope the norsemen have. Loki comments that it's too bad about the prophecy of the Norns. They have to play their parts as written in the book. Hercules believes that we write our own parts. Loki wonders if Hercules is here to remake Balder's fate. Loki leaves after transforming into a wolf.
Balder rejoins Hercules and shows him a page from the book of fate and it shows Balder's funeral pyre. Balder says that in these lands even gods can die and that makes them more human than the gods Hercules knows.
Loki goes to an ice cave and tells an unseen someone that Hercules has arrived and all goes as planned. Loki enters the cave and is stopped by a dark skeletal hand that gives him a dart with the being's blood dripped on the end of it. Loki is to use it to kill a god. Loki smiles.
Hercules goes to the tavern looking for a place to stay for the night. It's a pretty wild place. One of the men explains to Hercules that Odin reserves a high spot in Valhalla for those who prove their strength in things like head butting contests. The young lady sees Hercules and tells everyone that he's the man who almost didn't let her restore her reputation. She has short pig tails now. Hercules explains that he was trying to save her live. She insists that he sullied her reputation and wants satisfaction. She wants the man who won the head butting contest to butt Hercules. He tries and Hercules steps out of the way. The guy knocks himself out hitting a column.
Hercules tells them that if their god, Odin, honors head butting, then he's an idiot and encourages them to think for themselves. Hercules leaves.
Odin, is not happy about Hercules calling him an idiot. Balder tries to explain that Hercules doesn't know about their customs. Loki agrees. Thor offers to kill Hercules. Balder defends him as that one who may be able to save him. Odin's wife arrives and also pleads for Odin to spare Hercules for the sake of their son. Odin agrees that no one will harm Hercules. Thor is mad about it. Loki goes to talk to him. To allay his wife's concerns for her youngest son, Odin promises to make a new law that no weapon either mortal or god made will be used to harm Balder. Loki overhears. and looks into the cauldron showing Hercules walking across a snow covered field.
Hercules enters an apparently abandoned house. There are cobwebs hanging around. No one is there, so Hercules takes off his heavy coat and decides that is home for the night. He tries to start a fire but the wood is too wet to spark. As he walks away a fire springs into existence and a pot appears over the fire along with bread and water on the table. Balder arrives and comments that Hercules looked hungry. The pot contains boiled wolf. Hercules tells him he had that for lunch and maybe he'll just have some bread.
Balder hopes that Hercules won't judge the Vikings by Greek standards. Hercules admits that trials by ax and head butting contests are not things he admires. Balder is trying to civilize them but it is slow progress. Hercules asks about Thor. Balder says he rages against the night, the endless abyss they live with on the edge of the northern world. Hercules spits out the drink. Balder says it is fermented hog's milk.
Loki visits with Thor and assures him that Odin really doesn't love Balder best. Loki tells Thor about their fathers orders that no thing can harm Balder. But Balder will never believe it unless someone can prove it to him.
Hercules wakes to find the page from the book of fate on the floor beside him and the old Norn drawing more pictures in the book on the other side of the room. Hercules compares the page with those in the book and realizes that it is the same work. The woman says she paints what she sees. She paints a picture of Balder being killed. Hercules asks where and runs out after him to the place the Norn tells him, where trees meet sea.
Hercules runs down the path, back to the house just as he did in the dream. Balder is there. Hercules stops the dagger. Balder tells him it's alright. A bunch of Vikings appear and throw weapons at him. Hercules tries to stop them all but some get through and just disintegrate when they touch Balder including Thor's hammer. Thor has set up this little demonstration to prove to Balder that he doesn't need Hercules. Balder thinks the dreams are empty fantasies. Hercules shows him the page and Balder tears it up. He wants Hercules to try and kill him. Hercules thinks it's ridiculous. A little girl hands him a dart and Hercules takes it saying if Balder insists. He'll try it with a dart. Hercules pricks Balder in the palm of his hand with the dart. The wound immediately begins to spread and he falls to the ground and dies in Thor's arms. Thor tells Hercules that he killed Balder.
Hercules realizes they were tricked by the little girl but Thor is too angry to listen and attacks Hercules. They fight. Loki arrives and encases Hercules in stone to protect him so that he may pay the proper price at the proper time. Thor takes Balder's body back to Odin. Loki chuckles and approaches the stone, telling Hercules he isn't done with him yet. Loki again transforms into the little girl.
Balder is placed on his funeral pyre. Odin has trouble speaking his feelings. Loki speaks of Balder as his inspiration. They light the pyre.
The woman Hercules tried to save from the Trial by Ax comes looking for him. Hercules breaks out of the stone and helps her up off the floor. She's been trying to think for herself like he'd said. She's not going to let anyone chop her hair again. The next time someone says she stole their man, she's going to knock her head off. Hercules picks up the torn pages of the prophecy and asks her if she knows any legends about where their gods live. She tells him they live in Asguard and you get there by dying in battle. She asks why he wants to go there. He liked Balder because he really cared about human kind and because Loki used him to kill Balder and he's a little upset about that. She suggests he try the rainbow bridge between Midguard and Asguard. He tells her to keep thinking for herself. She tells him that the gods say they cannot change fate and the best thing they can do is face it with honor. Hercules tells her that the gods don't know what they are talking about. she asks him if he's married and he says yes.
The family leaves the burning pyre. Odin says something about the beginning of the long night and wants to see Thor in his chambers after he takes his wife to her room. Loki puts a hand on Thor's shoulder and tells him that it's not his fault. It was Hercules.
Hercules climbs well up into the mountain and finds a rainbow and a narrow bridge. He starts across it. Thor's hammer narrowly misses him and then hits him in the back, almost knocking Hercules from the bridge. They fight. Hercules tells him that Loki killed his brother and they both fall from the bridge. Hercules asks if they can't just talk about this. Thor still tries to kill him and they fight some more.
Odin comes looking for Thor and Loki tells him not to be angry. Odin grabs Loki and says he knew what was at stake. Loki replies that Thor knows nothing but vengeance and his hammer. Odin asks if Thor is winning and watches the fight in the cauldron. Loki tells him that he had the advantage of surprise but that rage is a poor tactician. Then, he smiles and walks away. Hercules taunts him into throwing his hammer with all his might and it disappears in a cliffside. They continue to fight until Hercules knocks Thor out. He picks him up and starts back for Asguard.
Loki again visits the ice cave. He tells his leader that all is as planned. Balder is dead and Hercules is where they want him. Loki asks about their deal. The unseen being says he never betrays an ally unless absolutely necessary and Loki remains under his protection. Loki is pleased with this.
Hercules arrive with Thor. He asks about Loki and is told that Loki is not there. Hercules puts Thor down and asks the man in the cloak where Odin is as he has something to tell him about his sons. Odin throws off the cloak, says he has no sons and calls Thor a betrayer and tells him he has doomed them all. He raises Thor up and throws him out of the window and collapses in his throne. Odin calls up the book of fate and tells Hercules to look at it. Odin tells him that three tragedies would befall them before the final war of the gods. The first was Balder's death. The second was Thor's defeat at the hands of a half-mortal. Now they wait for the third tragedy to befall them before the end. Hercules asks about after the war. Odin says there is no after.
Disclaimer: No ram, stag or any other horned species was sacrificed for Thor's behest during the production of this motion picture. We swear it.
Guest Stars: Ben Reed, Ian Hughes, Rupert Cocks, Peter McCauley
Written By: Gerry Conway
Directed By: Michael Hurst
Loki has a mask forged for his father as a gift of his affection. Odin tells Hercules that before they came to this land it was ruled by the Frost Giants and before them there was ice. After Ragnarok, the ice will return. Odin wonders if humanity will survive without the gods. Thor is living in exile for disobedience, Balder is dead and Loki is a coward because he is not there to face their fate. Hercules tells Odin that Loki arranged for Balder's murder and Thor's exile. Odin is not surprised.
Odin tells him that there is a third prophecy that must occur before Ragnarock can begin. It is a riddle that goes, "When the light dies, then will Ragnarock begin."
Hercules tells him if they can stop this third tragedy, they can stop Ragnarock. Odin tells him that it is impossible, it is their fate. Hercules believes we make our own fate and walks away.
Hercules goes outside, back to the bridge. Odin's wife follows him. Friga asks Hercules to go find Thor and bring him home to them. Odin needs him but won't allow himself to show weakness by admitting it.
Thor lies chained to the ice and begging for the wolves to come and take him. Hercules releases his manacles. Thor is astounded because Odin made the chains and no god can release them. Hercules informs him that a half-god from Greece can. He tells Thor that his father wants him home. Thor says he has no home. Hercules calls him a coward and Thor bristles at that. Hercules tells him to stop whining. Thor attacks him and Hercules steps out of the way, saying that there are other ways than to surrender to fate. He can still save his brother's dream of the gods protecting humanity. If the gods die so does his dream. Thor tells him nobody can stop Ragnarock. Then, Hercules says he must be "nobody."
Hercules walks on and finds the Norn camp with the book of fate. He sees a black wolf (Loki) run away with the mask. The Norn stands atop the cliff and says that Loki runs to meet his destiny. She also tells him that they cannot know what fate hasn't written yet. Hercules holds the book of fate over the fire and threatens to burn it if she doesn't' tell him what the riddle means. She asks him what he sees in the future. He opens the book and looks.
Odin's army gathers. The Norn appears behind him and tells him that Hercules seeks the answer to the ancient riddle. He thinks that knowledge will give him power over destiny. She hands him the mask and tells him that the answers are inside if he has the power to see. The old woman becomes Loki as Odin raises the mask.
Friga hears him scream and runs to him. Loki is laughing. There is blood all over Odin's face. Loki vanishes.
Hercules sees Odin and realizes this is the third tragedy. Friga asks about Thor. Hercules tells her that he blames himself for Balder's death. She tells Hercules that the gods are like humans, they doubt and long to be loved. It is a weakness and a strength.
Loki rants and raves outside the ice cave. The voice asks if he will be ready when the time comes. Loki says yes and pulls out a horn made from one of the Frost Giants' skulls. When he blows the horn, it will mean the end of Asguard. He blows and the ground shakes. He asks again if he will be alright and all that is left will be his. The voice assures him that as long as he is under it's protection, he will not be harmed. Loki is doing this for revenge and power but he wonders why the other is doing this. Loki enters the mouth of the cave and the being grabs him and tells him that he owes Loki no answers. He is a tool and nothing more.
Thor is still sulking. Hercules punches him out and carries him to the village which has been destroyed. The Vikings are in the tavern. They are afraid that the gods have abandoned them. Thor was supposed to protect them. The Vikings feel that there is nothing left to do but die and they might as well do that drunk. Thor appears to them and they reject him. Thor moves to leave and Hercules tells him that these people have no hope because they believed the lie that the gods would protect them. Thor says he is their protector. Hercules tells him to tell them that. The horn sounds. Thor says they are too late. The end has begun.
Hercules and Thor go back to where Thor's hammer is and Hercules pounds into the rock and they pull it out. They are about to use the hammer to travel back to Asguard when Loki appears to them and taunts them. Thor vows to kill him when this is over. Loki gives him a page from the Norn book of fate. The Viking feast hall is burning.
Thor can save his family in Asguard or the Vikings he claims to protect.
Hercules tells him to go to Asguard and he will save the Vikings. Thor bangs his hammer and sends Hercules to Asguard saying his place is with his people.
Hercules appears on the bridge.
Thor arrives at the Viking hall and breaks in the doors. He holds up the ceiling beams as they Vikings escape. The Hilda, girl Hercules saved, is trapped and can't get out.
Hercules finds Friga nearly frozen in the castle. Odin calls for her. Hercules tells him, she can't answer. He asks about Thor. Hercules tells him Thor stayed behind to save the people. He is relieved to hear that his son finally listened to him. He told him to always stand with the strong. He asks Hercules to take him to Friga. He asks Hercules to find him a sword. He takes it and tell Hercules to tell Thor that a father was never prouder of a son. He sends Hercules away with the sword and dies with Friga.
Hercules arrives at the Feast Hall and saves Hilda again. He gets her out and turns back to help Thor out. He finds another dart sticking from Thor's neck. Loki has been at it again. He pulls it out. Thor tells him it wasn't a lie, these people are under his protection. He tells Hercules that he tried to save his life but he has saved his heart. Thor dies. The Norn appears holding up the book showing the dying Thor. Loki's wolf howls nearby.
Hercules tends to the wounded. He asks Hilda if she's doing ok. She wonders how they will survive without the gods. What will happen to them. He tells her that people don't need gods to live. She disagrees. they need something to believe in that's bigger to get them through the winter.
Hercules pulls out the page from the Book of Fate and remember that the Norn told him that every picture tells a story. He uses a drop of spilled Norn paint on the floor to do something to the picture.
Hercules finds the Norn and tells her that it's time for the truth. He realizes that the two pictures, Balder's and Thor's were not painted by the Norn. The Norn only paints what she sees in the present and these two pictures were of the future. He realizes that Loki painted the pictures himself. He watches the Norn paint in the book. A picture of Hercules watching the Norn paint. Loki painted what he wanted to see and the paint made it happen. She says that fate is what we make it.
Loki sits in the castle and laughs. Hercules asks him what he wins. Loki will be master of Earth. Hercules holds up the paint and says not for long. Hercules threatens to paint him away. Loki attacks Hercules. the paint flies away. Loki becomes a wolf Hercules chases him. Loki runs to the cave and the being is gone. He grabs his stolen Norn paint and Hercules takes it away. Loki realizes that Hercules never had the real paint. It was a rouse to get Loki to lead him here. Hercules walks away and Loki grabs the horn and blows it causing an earthquake in the cave. The ice begins to fall. Loki knocks the paint from Hercules' hand and they both dive for it. Hercules prevents Loki from reaching it and they fight. Eventually Hercules throws Loki into the ice and it collapses upon him.
Hercules demands that everything that happened because Loki tricked fate be changed back. The Norn says it's not for her to do. Hercules holds the paint and says, "Of course not, we make our own fate." He goes to the book of fate and changes the first picture of Balder's death. time changes. and it all disappears back to Hercules taking the girl's dart. He throws it at the girl and tells Balder that Loki just tried to kill him. The girl becomes Loki. Loki tries to run and grabs Hilda. Thor is about to throw his hammer. Balder stops him and tells him that he is Hilda' protector and if he doesn't think of her first what sort of protector is he. Thor puts down the hammer and Loci releases Hilda. Balder thanks him for saving him and asks how he knew they'd find the Norn's paints in that ice cave. Hercules tells him he saw it in a dream and not to forget his dreams. He tells Thor that he has potential as a god and he was wrong about him. They shake hands and Thor tells him to remember he can always break Hercules in half. They leave with a blow of Thor's hammer. The Norn tells Hercules goodbye as well. Hercules heads back to his boat.
Disclaimer: No Frost Giants were thawed during the production of this motion picture.
#V0331 (15 November 1998)
Guest Stars: Gina Torres, Tamara Gorski
Written By: Lisa Klink
Directed by: Chris Long
Hercules travels back to Ireland to find Morrigan beating up the villagers for stealing things. Hercules and Morrigan take a walk. She has found her true calling in life as the guardian of Justice. She thanks Hercules for helping her. Hercules decides to go back to Greece. Morrigan invites Hercules to stay with her.
Morrigan admits that she has feelings for Hercules. Hercules explains that even though he does have feelings for her he can't take the risk of her getting hurt. She asks him to stay a few more days. He agrees they survey the damage that Caesar left.
Hercules stops Bronagh from hurting her and they talk him into ending his hatred for her. He makes a start. They help rebuild the village. By the end of the day Bronagh has forgiven Morrigan for killing his sister.
Hercules talks to Mabon about enjoying rebuilding the village and not making war. Mabon wonders if Morrigan may hold the answers for him. Hercules misses having a family. Mabon brings to his attention that Morrigan is also a half god (Her mother took her from her mortal father.) and maybe they can help each other.
Morrigan encourages Hercules to leave the past in the past and go on with his life. Storm clouds brew off the coast. They get caught in the rain and take refuge in a cave. Morrigan is going to miss the harvest ceremony with the Druids due to the rain. They continue the earlier conversation. Hercules admits that he saw the goodness in her even though she did evil things and it's like the darkness inside him. Hercules chickens out and decides they should go to sleep.
Hercules dreams and sees Nebula's bed on fire. bodies lying around and a figure dressed in black. He wakes feeling they have to go. The entrance to the cave is gone. He breaks through the rock wall and runs to the druids to find them all dead. Mabon is not quite dead and calls him over. Mabon tells him that he saw what happened because of illumination. He can see the possible future but we make our own destiny. An evil has entered the world. Hercules knows it's Dahak. Mabon asks Hercules not to leave him. He is afraid. Hercules holds him as he dies.
Morrigan wants to know how they will kill Dahak. He explains that the last time he fought Dahak, his best friend died. Morrigan says that they both have good reason to kill Dahak. Hercules tells her that this can't be about revenge. Hercules thinks they have to find out how he got here and send him back.
He remembers the vision of Nebula's bed on fire. He's going back to Sumeria and Morrigan is going with him. She tells Brigid goodbye and leaves her with Bronagh.
They travel to Sumeria. On the voyage, Morrigan doesn't think that she can continue without Mabon. Hercules believes that she continue if she believes in herself and she should stop blaming herself for surviving. She asks Hercules how he can stand the grief. She points out that being with Hercules that night saved her life and didn't end it. They kiss.
They arrive and are greeted by Aginor who tells Hercules that Nebula is sorry she couldn't greet him herself. He says she is busy with being a ruler. He glances at a doorway and Hercules doesn't feel right about all this. He asks about the door and goes in to find Nebula sitting in what is obviously a padded cell with while pillows all around her.
She's been having visions and talking to hallucinations. She ordered Iolaus' body preserved so that Hercules could take him home to Greece. She knew he would return. It all began just after Hercules left. Aginor felt she had set her own bed on fire. She has withdrawn and not spoken in days. Hercules goes in to speak with her.
Hercules tells her that he didn't trust her when they first met and that Iolaus saw something more in her from the beginning. She stops him speaking about Iolaus. She's surprised that he's there and he holds her as she cries. She tells him what happened after he left.
She put Iolaus in the tomb and became queen. She felt very alone the more that people tended to her. she thought a lot about Iolaus and dreamed of him every night. She felt exhausted and began to see things. She saw Iolaus standing around the castle and leading her through walls. She felt it was a fantasy and a diversion. She began to doubt her sanity.
She decided that she should put an end to the fantasies. She tells Iolaus that it has to stop. He understands the difficulties of living in reality and he can give her freedom from it. He becomes a little violent about it. she doesn't want to argue with a dream. He mutates for a moment into something else and sets her bed on fire.
Aginor thinks she's imagining it all. Hercules doesn't think so. He leaves Morrigan and Aginor not to let anyone into the room. He has to go check the tombs. He opens the coffin and it's empty, of course.
Dahak wearing Iolaus' body is standing behind Hercules wearing black robes. He says, "Boo."
Hercules tells Dahak that he's not staying. Dahak cried that he came all the way back from the dead to see him. Hercules tells him that he may have Iolaus' body but he's not Iolaus.
Dahak does a bit from the exorcist, a little transformation, a little speaking backwards. Hercules tried to punch him and he poofs to another part of the room. More exorcist stuff, spinning his head around.
He tells Hercules as story about a broken hero wandering the world grieving for a lost friend. He thought he'd stopped Dahak but Dahak had everything he needed when Iolaus sacrificed his heart.
Hercules says that Iolaus would never turn himself over to Dahak. Dahak replies that he'd be surprised what death will do to a man. Hercules does not plan to let him walk out in Iolaus' body. Dahak insists that he is Iolaus and he's going to bring freedom to the world starting with those he loves.
Nebula tells him, he's not real. Hercules runs in and breaks through the door. He throws Dahak through the wall and tells Nebula she's not crazy as he pulls her through the door. He tells everyone to get out of the castle. Dahak appears and starts throwing all sorts of sharp objects at them. Hercules covers for them and Dahak taunts him about this being his fight only. He uses Hercules own voice.
Hercules punches him and picks him up by the neck and throttles him. He tells Iolaus if he's in there to fight. He starts coughing and spluttering. He transforms into Iolaus' old clothes. Hercules drops him and he becomes Dahak again. Dahak says he knew that Hercules couldn't kill him and now he's heading for Greece. He vanishes into the floor.
Hercules goes outside where Morrigan and Nebula are waiting for him. They all pledge to stop Dahak together or die trying. Nebula will let Aginor take care of things for awhile.
Disclaimer: Iolaus nearly lost his head during the production of this motion picture.
#V0334 (3 January 1999)
Guest Starring: Robert Trebor, Tamara Gorski, Kevin Smith, Lisa Chappell, Hudson Leick, Renee O'Connor, Bruce Campbell
Written By: Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci
Directed By: Bruce Campbell
We begin with scenes from "One Fowl Day" of the giant chicken chasing everyone out of the circus tent. The video is stopped and B.S. quizzes Tapert about the quality of the show when Hercules has to fight a giant chicken. Tapert replies that he's never cared about quality. B.S. wants to see more action and romance and Salmoneus and he wants the scripts on his desk by the end of the week. He gets thrown out of B.S.' office and declares a state of emergency.
Kevin Sorbo is driving his car in California , whistling the Hercules theme when Ares appears in it holding a Hercules action figure which he bites the head off of. Ares asks for an autograph, Kevin tell shim to write to the studio and they'd be happy to send him one. Ares calls the show Baywatch B.C. (you're telling me that Ares lives in the 20th century and he's still wearing the same old clothes, I bet he stinks!) Ares wants merchandising rights for the weekly slander his has to put up with. Kevin calls him a whiner and pushes him out of the car in traffic.
Jerry and Paul arrive at the studio. Paul is panicked over a phone call telling him to pack his bags. Tapert arrives and tells them that they all have to learn to work together and they are all going on a corporate retreat at Camp Wannachuck.
They are greeted by Sunny Day (Renee) the Camp Counselor. They will be combining modern corporate techniques with ancient Navajo rituals. They stop Jerry from killing Tapert when Sunny wants them to repeat after her and Jerry doesn't.
They start with a trust exercise where Tapert is standing on a table and the rest of them have to catch him. They let him fall, of course, Paul goes through his wallet while he's stunned. Tapert wakes with a brilliant idea about how to start the season by killing Iolaus permanently by means of spontaneous combustion. Then, we get to watch while they comically blow him up, have him ate by a monster, and drop an Acme weight on him. Paul's not sure this is a good idea.
Kevin shows up with his bag and apologizes for being late. Paul runs to him and sobs that they are going to kill Iolaus. Kevin says, "But Iolaus lived to be 100 years old." Then he tells them that if they are going to kill Iolaus again, they should let him die like the hero he was. Clips from Faith as Kevin narrates but he's just an actor. When he's finished, they are all crying, even Jerry.
As they walk into lunch, Tapert asks Kevin if he's like to wrestle Xena on pay per view and Paul propositions Melissa. Lunch is prepared by Norma Bates (Tamara Gorski)
Kevin says he's so hungry he could eat a hydra and bangs the table which breaks in half. He apologizes and Sunny congratulates him for taking responsibility for his actions.
Then they all end up in the sweat lodge together. Liz is still fully clothed in her business suit. Paul has a problem with closed spaces. Jerry thinks it's pretty gross seeing Paul in his "skivvies". Melissa suggests a show about Hercules' spiritual side. Kevin explains Herc's situation to them. Clips from "Resurrection".
Tapert declares Kevin to be brilliant and then tells Jerry and Paul they are not doing their job. Kevin has to keep Jerry from killing Tapert again.
Liz thinks that Hercules should go to Ireland. They think they want to do a war story. Kevin thinks it should be more than that and explains. Clips from "Render Under Caesar".
Someone drops the cross bar into place on the door and locks them inside. Kevin can't let them know that he's really Hercules but he has to save them. So, he distracts them and pushes the door open.
They all sit around the fire that evening, lost in their own thoughts. Sunny brings them some smores (for the non-americans, smores are melted marshmallows and Hershey's Chocolate bars between graham crackers, a traditional camping treat for the kids.) Tapert says they can't have their reward until they plan the rest of the season. They all look at Kevin. Clips from "Norse by Norsevest" and "Somewhere over the Rainbow Bridge"
Kevin asks them what the one thing that Hercules fears the most is? They don't have a clue. Kevin explains that it's losing the people he cares about. Clips from "Darkness Rising".
Tapert declares that they have enough material to get started and they can all go home but Sunny has other plans and pulls a gun on them as it thunders and lightnings. She forces them all into an old mine. This all gives Kevin the idea to have Iolaus betray Herc. More clips from "Darkness Rising".
Kevin offers himself to Sunny if she will spare the others. Norma enters the mine and distracts everyone enough that Kevin grabs Sunny, the gun goes off and the bullet breaks a beam which threatens to bring the roof down on them. Kevin holds it up until he can brace it with another beam. Kevin reveals that Sunny is really B.S. He suspected something amiss at lunch when he smelled poison in the food and broke the table then he heard Sunny singing in a tenor voice and Norma handed him a note in the sweat lodge.
Norma then reveals that she is really studio security. They ask B.S why he did it and Ares appears to them all and explains that they have the world convinced that good always wins and he doesn't like that. Kevin tells him he'll never succeed because there's a little bit of Hercules in everyone just waiting to come out. Ares had promised B.S. his own network. B.S. says that where there's television there will always be B.S. Kevin agrees.
Melissa is concerned that the god of war is real. Paul figures out that if Ares is real then Hercules must be real as well. They all look at Kevin who tells them he's just an actor.
Disclaimer: Due to circumstances beyond our control some staff members were ridiculed, laughed at and generally made fools of during the production of this motion picture.
V0713 (10 January 1999)
Guest Staring: Gina Torres, Tamara Gorski, Jeffrey Thomas, George Henare
Written By: Gene O'Neill and Noreen Tobin
Directed By: Robert Radler
A man comes into the crypt where Iolaus' body was and touches the vault. He sees a vision of Dahak floating above it and then vanishing inside it. The vault jumps around and opens. The wrappings unwind from the head and Iolaus' eyes open as solid black irises. The man says, "It has returned." and leaves the room.
Morrigan fails to catch a fish and gets frustrated. Hercules (back in his old clothes) locks the ship's wheel. Hercules gives her another pole and helps her fish. Hercules is afraid that Dahak may already have control of Greece by the time they arrive and that this may not be the right time for them to try and be together. She agrees that there are more important things to do before they decide it they are really in love. They kiss. Nebula walks by interrupting them. Hercules asks if she slept well. She hasn't. Morrigan wonders if Nebula will ever be back to her old self since Dahak drove her mad. Hercules says he would still trust her with his life.
They arrive in Greece to find everything appearing well. A girl tells them that the Olympian Gods abandoned them until one of their own sons returned to deliver them. They are afraid of Hercules. Dahak shows up now wearing white robes and holding a child proclaiming that he will save them from Hercules.
Hercules tells the people that he's lying. Dahak says if they will just accept him into their hearts that he can help them and save them. Hercules appeals to his mother's best friend, Livia, and she denies him. Saying that she's glad Alcmene isn't here to see what he's become. They believe that Hercules has returned to destroy Greece. Dahak asks him to leave these people to worship in peace. Hercules turns around telling him it's only round one and they leave.
They go up into the forest where Hercules and Iolaus played when they were kids and discuss what they should do. Morrigan tells Hercules that he may have to forget the past in order to deal with the situation. Nebula takes exception to her use of the name Iolaus. They argue. Nebula defends Iolaus' soul and is convinced that Dahak can't be in control of it. Hercules breaks it up and tells Nebula that they have to be prepared to face the possibility that Iolaus may not be the person they knew anymore. Nebula asks him if he really thinks he can kill Iolaus if it comes to that. Hercules doesn't know but they may have to. Hercules tells them to see if they can find out what the price is that the people are having to pay for all their prosperity. While he goes to see an old friend.
He goes to Jason who tells him he's not welcome here. Iolaus has already turned him against Hercules. Jason goes in the barn and accuses him of abandoning his own people and it's driven him insane. Hercules says if he's insane why hasn't he just broken the barn door in, instead of trying to reason with him. Jason finally comes out and looks him over.
Dahak's men are burning the literature. A villager tries to stop them. Nebula and Morrigan arrive and they fight. They speak to the villager but he is killed before he can tell them where Dahak's stronghold is.
Jason explained that Iolaus had told them all that Hercules had vowed to destroy the Olympians and he had not choice but to eat ambrosia to stop him. Jason apologizes for doubting Hercules. Hercules accepts and says the garden looks good. Jason replies that Alcmene has taught him well. Hercules asks where Iphicles is. Jason says that he left Corinth on a diplomatic mission before any of this happened. Hercules has to go do something about someone who looks like Iolaus.
The old temples are being converted to serve Dahak. Hercules goes in and topples the alter over. Dahak arrives. Hercules wants to know what Dahak has done with the Olympians. Dahak says that they left before he got there but that he will find them. Dahak has trouble believing that Hercules doesn't want to destroy them. Hercules says if he really was Iolaus he'd know that he only wanted them to stop meddling with people's lives. Dahak wants a return to the days before the Olympian gods. He pins Hercules to the wall with a beam of fire. Hercules appeals to Iolaus if he's in there to fight Dahak. Dahak falls writhing to the floor and for a moment it seems Iolaus has gained control. He tells Hercules that it hurts and he can't hold him back much longer. He begs Hercules to kill him while he can. Hercules picks up a sword from the wall and screams "No" but he can't do it. It's too simple. It's still Dahak. Hercules wonders why he keeps asking him to kill him. Dahak wants him to kill him because he'll get something out of it. Hercules isn't going to comply and give Dahak what he wants. Dahak vanishes.
Hercules decides to go find the Titans and speak to them. Morrigan and Nebula will go to Jason and try to find the stronghold. They will meet back at Jason's tonight.
Hercules finds one of the titans in a volcano and she's not thrilled to hear that Dahak is back. Dahak tried to take the world from them before and after defeating him they were too weak to defend themselves from the Olympian gods. She tells Hercules that he must retrieve the Stone of Creation and if it is held before Dahak at the sunrise it will harness a pure and perfect light and Dahak will be powerless long enough for Hercules to send him back to his realm.
Hercules, now back outside, senses the man from the beginning of the episode and grabs him. The man tells him he is Zarathustra who was the first follower of Dahak 1,000 years ago. He says that Hercules alone has the power to destroy the world or save it.
Nebula goes into a temple and Dahak comes. He asks what she's praying for. His soul. Dahak apologizes for the way he treated her in Sumeria. she doesn't know which part of him is sorry. The Iolaus she knew cared about other people more than himself. If he's still the Iolaus that she fell in love with he should leave Greece now before anyone else gets hurt. He promises that in his new world there will be no suffering but first he must destroy the old world. She wants no part of that and moves to leave. He stops her and tells her that they belong together, their love is eternal.
Zarathustra tells Hercules that the impulse to create and destroy is in all things. Dahak is the destructive impulse and when he entered the world it put things out of balance. Dahak wants Hercules to destroy him. Zarathustra explains that's because he holds an innocent soul within his grasp. If Hercules sends Dahak back to his realm, he condemns Iolaus to the same fate. Hercules has a perfect union of man and god within him and that makes him a target for darkness. If he cannot save Iolaus' soul from Dahak, he will shift the balance of power into chaos forever which is what Dahak wants.
Jason and Morrigan are splitting wood. Jason tells her he won't doubt Hercules again. Two of Dahak's men come to take them to a sermon in their honor. They decline and a fight starts. More of Dahak's men arrive and Nebula cracks Morrigan over the head. She's sold them out.
Hercules realizes that he cannot kill Dahak without sending the world into chaos and if he doesn't kill him, he will continue to gain followers and strength. Hercules refuses to give up on mankind. He won't allow Dahak to decide man's destiny. Hercules suggests that if Dahak is like a disease then there has to be a cure. If they can separate Iolaus' soul from Dahak then they can kill Dahak and Iolaus can rest in peace. Zarathustra witnessed one centuries ago and he doesn't' care to repeat the experience. They could destroy Iolaus' soul in the attempt and Dahak would still have the world. Hercules plans on using the crystal to make Dahak powerless long enough to perform the exorcism.
Jason and Morrigan are imprisoned in the stronghold. Morrigan bends two of the cell bars and they turn into snakes which become handcuffs. Dahak comes. He wants Jason to join him but Jason's not having it. Dahak intends to leave him there the rest of his life. Morrigan is taken from the cell. Morrigan tells her that she knew she'd betray them.
Hercules explains that Nemecene said the light would weaken Dahak until the light fades. Hercules realizes that Zarathustra was once where Iolaus is now. He explains that Dahak rewards every primal urge without any moral concerns and he once wanted to help Dahak spread that to the world but something he cannot explain stopped him. Hercules wonders if it was the creative impulse that gave him the power to resist Dahak then. Dahak destroyed his family and cursed him with immortality so he had to live with denying Dahak forever. He is hoping that if they can defeat Dahak his immortality will end and his family will forgive him. Hercules assures him that they will succeed.
Hercules and Zarathustra enter a cave and see the crystal on the other side of a pit with poles sticking up.
Jason pretends to have hung himself and one of the other prisoners calls the guards. Jason knocks them out and escapes releasing the other prisoners.
Hercules steps out onto the pole tops and crosses the abyss. He takes the crystal and the cavern begins to crumble. Zarathustra falls but his clothes catch on a rock. The poles all fall and Zarathustra throws Hercules his staff. Hercules pole-vaults over the abyss and saves Zarathustra and then escape.
Dahak leads his sermon about the only crime being not to do what you want like a stereotypical southern holy roller complete with choir.
Hercules and Zarathustra pick up Jason and they go to the stronghold. Dawn approaches.
Dahak brings out Morrigan, he intends to kill her and that the sight of her dead body might be enough to get him to kill him. Nebula wants to be the one to kill her. Instead she breaks her bonds. Hercules arrives. They have to fight their way through the followers.
Dahak lifts Nebula by her chin and accuses her of betraying him. She replies that they are even now. Dahak throws Morrigan against the wall. The sun rises. Hercules throws Zarathustra the crystal. He puts it in the top of his staff. Dahak throws Nebula into the choir. The staff melts under Dahak's flame. The crystal skids across the floor. Hercules and Dahak exchange glances and both dive for it.
Morrigan tells Nebula she had her going and it was a good performance. Nebula thanks her and they continue to fight the followers with Jason.
Dahak gets the crystal but Hercules forces the crystal into the beam of light from the window. Dahak drops it and is thrown back to the alter. Hercules puts the crystal into the staff again and Dahak is chained to the alter by the beam. Dahak is weakened by still conscious. They have until sunset before he regains his strength. Hercules orders the exorcism to begin.
Disclaimer: No Cast-Iron Snakes were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
V0714 (17 January 1999)
Guest Staring: Gina Torres, Tamara Gorski, Jeffrey Thomas, George Henare, Kevin Smith
Written By: Lisa Klink
Directed By: Bruce Campbell
They discuss who's going to do the exorcism. Meanwhile Dahak tricks Jason into believing that there's something wrong with his hand. He runs to one side slicing at it with a knife. Hercules stops him and tells him to block Dahak out of his mind. Hercules sends Jason out where he'll be safe. Jason wants to stay. He doesn't want Hercules to go through with this alone. Hercules tells him it's best for him if he knows Jason is safe.
They get started. They set burning pots around and paint symbols on the walls to make the body uncomfortable for the demon. Dahak informs Zarathustra that he's as much a part of the world as the light is.
Dahak tells his followers to find the god that once joined him and kill him. Nebula is all for letting Ares take his chances. Hercules disagrees if Dahak wants Ares dead there must be a reason and Dahak's presence has left all the gods weakened and vulnerable. If Dahak can kill Ares it will make him strong enough to break his bonds and they will have lost their chance.
Hercules sends Morrigan and Nebula to go save Ares. Zarathustra warns Hercules that Dahak will say and do anything to break them down. They both feel that the light is their ally. Hercules decided that he needs to remind Iolaus what their trust and friendship meant to him, then they might have a chance.
Hercules tears opens the white robe and looks at the scar where Gilgamesh stabbed him. Zarathustra instructs him to make a mark over the heart. Hercules starts to and Dahak taunts him begging him to stop and Hercules walks away. Zarathustra tells him that the body is dead. It's just a vessel for the spirit within. He asks Hercules which is more important to him preserving the body or saving the soul. Hercules returns and finishes what he started.
Nebula and Morrigan go to Ares' temple. He shoots arrows at them and tries but fails to throw a fireball at them. He jumps off the beam he's sitting on and hurts his ankle. He pushes a statue over on them. They evade it and he hobbles away. They chase him.
Hercules and Zarathustra make some "holy" water in the light and dab it on the forehead. It makes lightning. Dahak taunts Zarathustra with descriptions of how Dahak killed his family and how he wasn't worthy of them. Zarathustra grabs the knife and Hercules stops him from doing anything with it. Zarathustra steps outside.
Zarathustra sees a vision of his son and runs to it. Dahak is controlling the image. He makes the vision scratch Zarathustra and throw him back into the temple. He floats Zarathustra on the ceiling and spins him around. Hercules threatens Dahak with the knife which is what Dahak wants. Hercules throws the knife away. Dahak is weakened by the act and Zarathustra falls. Hercules goes to him and Zarathustra is free and finally dies. The body immediately turns to dust.
Hercules turns around and Dahak is sitting up on the alter. He says that he gave Zarathustra immortality and it was his to take away. Hercules tells Dahak that Zarathustra considered his immortality a curse and so releasing him from it was an act of mercy so Hercules must be getting through to Iolaus. Dahak disagrees, Zarathustra was the only one who knew how to perform the ritual and now it's just the two of them.
Ares comes up behind the two women and asks why Hercules would want to help him. Morrigan explains that if Dahak steals all his power that wouldn't be good for any of them. Dahak's followers break into the temple. They fight them off and make a run for it through a secret door. Area is offended that Dahak didn't come after him personally. Morrigan explains that Hercules has him restrained. Ares wants to take the opportunity to kill Dahak but Nebula informs him that this is Hercules' only chance to save Iolaus and that's what he's going to do and she may have agreed to protect Ares but she'll kick his butt if he steps out of line. Ares tells Morrigan that Hercules' compassion for Iolaus is his fatal weakness and that Dahak will take advantage of it. Nebula tells him they have to find somewhere safe, then they can argue about it.
Dahak tells Hercules it's all hopeless. Either way, Dahak will will. Hercules tells him he's forgetting about Iolaus who can still fight him. Dahak informs Hercules that Iolaus invited Dahak into his heart. Hercules disputes that. If they were one Dahak wouldn't refer to Iolaus as "he".
Hercules wants to know how Dahak seduced his friend. Hercules doesn't believe him. So, Dahak shows him. We flash back to the death scene and then a tunnel with interspersed flashbacks to Iolaus' life. Then Iolaus is in a garden (feels like a dark garden) where Skouros meets him and tells him that he's really proud of him. Iolaus says that this can't be the Eleysian Fields because he wasn't in Greece when he died. Skouros says that he didn't want to frighten him. Iolaus realizes that this isn't his father. Skouros transforms into Nebula, then Hercules. Iolaus calls him Dahak and tells him that Hercules will come for him. Dahak says that he will try. Iolaus says that his life just can't be over. Dahak says it doesn't have to be, he can restore everything Iolaus has lost and more. Iolaus would rather die than bring Dahak back into the world. Iolaus was fighting for the chance to make the world a better place. Dahak asks if he did. Dahak points out that really that's Hercules' destiny and he was just along for the ride. Iolaus says that teaming up with Hercules was the best thing he ever did and that without Hercules he would have been...the line is left unfinished. Dahak says it's to late to do anything about it and Iolaus will be remembered as the man who lived in the shadow of a greater hero if he's remembered at all.
Hercules tells Dahak he sold Iolaus a lie. Dahak disagrees, he didn't have to sell anything. The doubts were already in his own heart. Dahak tells Hercules that he used Iolaus as a traveling companion on the road to his own destiny. Hercules laughs and tells Dahak that he doesn't know Iolaus very well. He's too selfish to understand. Iolaus reminded Hercules what they were fighting for through his courage and strength. Hercules doesn't know what Iolaus' life would have been like with him but he does know that he couldn't have survived without Iolaus.
Dahak writhes on the table and the symbol on his chest opens up and a ghostly hand appears through it. Iolaus' voice calls for Hercules to help him get out of there. Hercules tries to reach the hand but a stone from the wall hits him and knocks him out of the way. He's too late and Dahak's control reasserts itself. The hole closes with Iolaus saying that Hercules is fading. Hercules tells Dahak he cant' hide behind Iolaus forever. Dahak says he only needs until sunset.
Dahak's followers continue the search. Ares, Nebula and Morrigan hide behind a waterfall. Ares tries to convince Nebula that Iolaus isn't as important as the rest of the world. Morrigan does agree that they made a pact to stop Dahak no matter what happened. Nebula informs Ares that, "as God of War he should know that the greatest victories are won on the edge of defeat." Nebula agrees they will go talk to Hercules about it but the decision is his.
Dahak continues to tell Hercules how he won over Iolaus. Iolaus tells Dahak, still in the guise of Hercules, that he had a good life and has no regrets. Dahak tells him that he always wanted to settle down and have a family. Share his adventures with his son. Iolaus informs him that of course he has some regrets but being Hercules' friend was not one of them. Dahak says he didn't mean to offend him. Iolaus had a lot to be proud of, he fought alongside Hercules without the extra strength making him braver than Hercules. Iolaus tells him to get away. Dahak tells him to imagine what he could have done if he had the strength of a 1,000 gods. Dahak shows him a man in the real world about to fall into an abyss. Dahak says that Iolaus can save him. Dahak says it's a "trial run with no strings attached" just try out the power. Iolaus puts the rope back together and saves the man. Dahak then tells Iolaus that the man is a killer and shows him the family the man will kill and tells Iolaus that he can save them. Iolaus lets the man drop. Dahak congratulates him on committing murder of an innocent man who had not yet committed murder.
Hercules tells Dahak he used Iolaus' good intentions. Dahak tells him Iolaus chose his own path.
Ares, Nebula and Morrigan try to figure out how to get into the temple. Ares steals a robe and pretends to be Dahak and points out Nebula and Morrigan to them. They run for it and lead the followers away.
The sun is setting. Hercules tells Dahak that as long as there is an impulse to create, people will take the path to nurturing and good thing and he will keep his optimism. Dahak says then, he will keep Iolaus.
And we're back to the seduction. Dahak asks Iolaus if the gods deserve their power over people any more than anyone does deserves it. Iolaus agrees they don't deserve it. Dahak mentions the plague that Hera sent to Mycena and how Iolaus tried to help and still people died and wouldn't Iolaus have stopped her if he'd had the power. Yes he would have. That is what Dahak's offering him the chance to do.
Hercules disagrees, "one person can make a difference to the world and to me." He is talking to Iolaus who again begins to fight.
Back to the seduction. Iolaus tells Dahak that all he wants is for Iolaus to bring him back into the world. Dahak admits that and says what they do in the world will be up to Iolaus. Dahak will be his servant. Iolaus will be the one in control. All he has to do is take Dahak's hand.
The symbol opens again. The hand emerges. Hercules urges him on.
Back to the seduction as Iolaus takes his hand.
Ares bursts into the room and Dahak takes control again. Ares says it's his turn now. Hercules runs to stop him and throws him against the wall. Dahak strangles him from afar. Nebula and Morrigan run in with the followers not far behind them. Hercules jumps into the opening in the body and finds a cave like place with a tunnel on one end.
Iolaus is there asking why it took him so long. Dahak is there as well in the form of a monster. Hercules and Iolaus fight it.
Nebula and Morrigan fight off the followers at the door. Dahak is still trying to strangle Ares.
Dahak pushes Hercules and Iolaus to the edge of a precipice and they use Themopoly to lift Dahak and throw him over the edge into the flaming lava pit below.
The body stops writhing. The followers leave. Ares rises and his power is restored and leaves.
In the cave Iolaus can no longer feel Dahak. He tells Hercules, "You never gave up on me." Hercules tells him he's the best friend he ever had. Iolaus says he betrayed Hercules and everyone who ever had faith in him. He hopes Hercules can forgive him. Hercules already has.
A light appears and Zarathustra floats above. He tells Iolaus that temptation comes to everyone sooner or later and even though he was led astray he has always been a servant of the light and he has earned his place in it. Zarathustra holds out his hand to Iolaus. He has come to take Iolaus home. Iolaus doesn't know what to say. Hercules says "let's not say anything except see ya around." Iolaus says he'll see Hercules around. They hug. Hercules is crying. Iolaus smiles at him and steps into the light. Zarathustra tells Hercules he was right the impulse to create does have a name. Iolaus waves. They vanish together. Hercules says, "Goodbye Iolaus."
Hercules wakes at the end of the alter with Morrigan and Nebula. Nebula asks if he's alright and he says yes, he's fine.
Disclaimer: Finally, the demon Dahak was destroyed during the production of this motion picture.
V0718 (24 January 1999)
Guest Stars: Danielle Cormack, Jonathon Roberts, James Gaylyn,
Written by: Paul Robert Coyle
Directed by: John Laing
Hercules enters a village and calls for the locals to gather their families and move to higher ground. Ephiny is there as well. She's heard about Iolaus and offers her condolences. Hercules thanks her. They are at Mount Pellion which is about to erupt. Hercules figures they have a day maybe two. There are a lot of injured villagers that can't be moved because of the earthquakes. Hercules has an idea about calming the volcano. Ephiny meets him at the sea where he's collected a bunch of crystals from Atlantis. The crystals are unstable and explode easily. He plans to blow a hole in the far side of the volcano so that when it erupts, the lava will drain out the other side into the sea.
Ephiny's son is with a bunch of centaurs on a ritual in the woods and she can't evacuate him. They have 3 carts loaded with the explosives and ask for 4 volunteers to take the other 2 carts. They get 3. The town is preparing to hang a man who is accused of killing the son of a centaur and many refuse to leave until he hangs. Hercules offers to let the condemned man go with them to the volcano. He accepts.
Nagus, the centaur father, is upset about them letting the murderer go.
They set out and are immediately facing obstacles in their path, rocks and steam vents. Ephiny's partner is injured by a steam vent and one of the wagon's horse spooks, The driver doesn't jump in time and the wagon blows.
Ephiny's horse has a stone in it's shoe and she has to delay. Hercules moves ahead. Nixus is a farmer and Ephiny sends him home to be with his family. He has no business with them. Ephiny is now traveling alone.
Nagus stops a villager from killing Ephiny with his crossbow. He wants Kurth dead, not the amazon.
Hercules' wagon looses a wheel as Ephiny pulls up. They prepare to move the crystals to Ephiny's wagon. The villagers shoot arrows at Hercules' wagon as the murder escapes. Ephiny goes to stop them as Hercules protects the wagon. Ephiny's horse was shot with an arrow. Ephiny fights the villagers.
Kurth falls from the horse and Nagus finds him. Ephiny saves Kurth from Nagus. Hercules has tended the horse but it can't pull the wagon.
Hercules goes to find Nagus to ask him to help. Nagus wasn't too happy about his son hanging around with those thugs from the village. Nagus agrees and pulls the wagon.
The village thugs decide to run from the volcano and their leader wants to continue to harass the wagon. The rest of the group runs.
Hercules and his crew have to cross a rickety rope bridge. Hercules decides they will carry the crystals over and Nagus will follow with the wagon. There's another earthquake but everything's ok.
The village leader cuts one of the ropes holding the bridge and makes it even more unstable. They drop a few crystals. Nagus takes care of the villager as the other three make it across. Ephiny stumbles on a rotten board and hurt her leg. Hercules goes back to help Nagus. They lose the wagon. Hercules asks Nagus to stay with Ephiny. Ephiny objects, Nagus offers to carry the crystals. Hercules and Kurth go to make a harness for him.
Nagus didn't realize who Ephiny is. They talk about losing the ones you love. She tells him what Hercules has lost, his family to Hera, his best friend to Dahak and reminds him that not everyone is what they seem. She wishes him luck.
The men set out. Kurth tells Nagus that he regrets what happened to his son. Kurth offers to do whatever he has to to make amends. Nagus tells him to go to Tartarus. They survive several tremors.
They set the crystals in place. Hercules is afraid that they have lost too many crystals. He sends Nagus back to get Ephiny. Hercules plans to throw the crystals into the volcano. Nagus won't let him do it. The world needs Hercules. Kurth takes the crystals to the top while Hercules and Nagus are arguing.
Kurth makes it to the top and jumps in with them. Hercules makes a staff for Ephiny. Her son is back from the hunt and is well. She leaves. Hercules and Nagus talk about Kurth. Nagus feels responsible for Kurth's death but he's learned from it.
Disclaimer: Ephiny's leg was not hurt in the production of this motion picture. However, the writers sincerely apologize to Amazons everywhere for excluding her from the big finale.
V0716 (31 January 1999)
Guest Stars: Gina Torres, Kevin Smith,
Teleplay by: Gerry Conway
Story: By: Paul Robert Coyle
Directed By: Bruce Campbell
Hercules narrates a recap of events in Stranger in a Strange World reiterating the business about dying in one means dying in both and trapping the Sovereign between worlds.
A cyclone appears to open the portal and suck a man through. Hercules and a villager discuss the current weather situation. Hercules thinks he knows where the Olympian gods fled to. He tells the villager to get everyone away while he does something really stupid. Hercules jumps through the portal. He finds the Sovereign on the other side, apparently unconscious from hitting this head when he came through the portal. The Jester Iolaus is there as well. He is afraid of Hercules and remembers that Hercules filled him full for dreams about being a hero and then sent him to a world he didn't want to return to. He indicates that there's someone in charge even worse than the sovereign.
Hercules asks how the mirror Iolaus he isn't dead then decides that it must be because they are in the netherworld of the mirror universe. He asks the Jester Iolaus how he got here and is shown a portal. But he didn't show it to the Sovereign.
Ares follows Hercules through the portal planning to stop him from destroying Ares' plan which presumably is to have our world all to himself.
Hercules and Jester Iolaus arrive back in the mirror universe, Iolaus hurts himself and the people laugh at him. Hercules asks why he lets people laugh at him. Iolaus replies that he's not Hercules' partner even though he looks like him and he doesn't want to hear about him. Hercules replies that he remembers that the Jester wanted to come back, that he wanted to be a hero and if so then now is his chance to prove it. Hercules explains that his gods came to the Jester's universe and if he doesn't bring them back soon, both worlds will rip apart. He hints that he'd like Jester Iolaus to be his guide. Iolaus agrees only if they can split up and go their separate ways after Hercules finds his gods.
The Empress (Nebula) is holding court. Falafel is hosting a Wheel of Mis-fortune like game show inwhich the contestants are the villagers who got sucked into the portal from Herc's universe. The wheel is the means to choose the victim's execution.
Hercules and Iolaus watch from above. Iolaus asks about Nebula in Hercules' universe. Hercules says that she's one of his closest friends.
The Sovereign comes to and finds Ares holding the Hind's blood pendant. Ares pours blood on a dagger, they fight and Ares stabs the Sovereign after telling him that Ares already has a partner in Empress Nebula.
Hercules leans against a wall, he feels the Sovereign's death but he doesn't die. Iolaus leads him to the Sovereign's bedchamber and Hercules changes into the Sovereigns clothes so he can try and get the truth out of Nebula.
Ares, God of Love arrives. This Ares tells Hercules that Ares, God of War has arrived. Ares, God of Love offers to help but he's not a fighter.
The games continue at Nebula's court. She's upset because she thought that taking over the known world would make her popular but nobody likes her. she pitches a temper tantrum about it. Hercules arrives as the Sovereign. Nebula is happy to see him and upset that he has been gone so long. Falafel offers to make his favorite dish, Hercules agrees and Falafel declare him an impostor because he lied about the favorite food. Hercules laughs and throws him out a window to prove that he is the Sovereign. Iolaus is outside with a wheelbarrow of hay to catch Falafel with. The act convinces Nebula. Hercules confronts Nebula about her new partner. Ares wanted her to see to it that his fellow gods never left their hiding in the mirror universe so that he could be top god in their absence. she trapped them in the Labyrinth of Eternal Memory. He orders the Empress locked in his bedchambers.
Ares arrives in through the portal from the netherworld. He still has the Hind's blood dagger.
Hercules and Iolaus arrive at the Labyrinth. Iolaus explains that Zeus went insane building it for the Sovereign when he was a baby. The Jester is afraid and Hercules tells him that he's been a bug help but he understands if he doesn't want to go on. The Jester comments that the other Iolaus wouldn't have hesitated. Hercules didn't think he wanted to hear about the other Iolaus and tells him that making different choices in his life didn't make them wrong decisions.
A monster shows up. Hercules fights it and they move on.
The Empress tells Ares that their deal is finished. She's waiting for Hercules. He asks her why she doesn't like him. She replies that it's because he reminds her of the god of love. Ares tells her that in his universe, she's just as sickeningly nice and he can't have either of them. Ares, god of love is watching.
Hercules and Iolaus continue through the labyrinth. Ares, god of Love arrives and tells them that he's glad they (Hercules and Iolaus) are finally getting close. He tells them that Ares, god of war is here to kill all of Hercules' gods. Hercules asks him to distract Ares and slow him down a little.
Nebula is upset that the Sovereign' dead and she won't get lucky tonight. Ares, god of love, blows his love dust on Nebula who attacks Ares thus delaying him.
Hercules explains to Jester Iolaus that the rat is more afraid of him than Iolaus is of it. Iolaus expresses his doubts about coming along and how he maybe can't be a hero. The mist in the doorway behind them displays scenes of the Jester Iolaus going back through the portal. Hercules explains that it took courage to come back. More mist on the wall as they walk shows scenes of the Jester leading a revolt against the Empress. He explains that most of his followers were killed that's why he ran away through the portal to hide and he blamed Hercules because it was easiest. They notice the images on the walls and realize that the labyrinth is playing back Iolaus' memories.
They begin to sink through the floor. Hercules realizes that it is the regrets of Iolaus' life that are pulling them both down and tells Iolaus that he must put his past behind him. Iolaus mediates on something he looks forward to and they stop sinking. They continue on.
Ares comes up for air in the bed after the 10th time and Nebula realizes that it's been a diversion.
Hercules and Iolaus find the center of the labyrinth. they are trapped inside a floating ball, Hercules takes the ball and they continue back. Hercules and Iolaus have trouble finding the right passage out. Ares arrives. Hercules points out that Ares can't rule the world if there's no world left. He's not opposed to starting over. Ares and Hercules fight. Hercules tells him he'll see him next fall and punches him out. Hercules takes the hind's blood pendant and looks up to see Nebula with a knife to Iolaus' throat. She wants the sphere. Hercules throws it behind him and the passages lead it to hit her in the back of the head, knocking her out and returns the sphere to Hercules who breaks it on the floor and the gods all fly out and away as little points of light. They chow Hercules the right passage out.
Hercules drives the Hind's blood dagger into the stone pedestal. Ares pops himself out on the second attempt. They take Nebula to a jail cell.
Later, Hercules and Jester Iolaus (I gotta find a shorter name for this guy! I can't type all that from now on he will be refered to as Iolaus2, that's what the TV guide called him.) walk through the wrecked village. Iolaus wishes that he had Hercules' courage. Hercules explains that having courage doesn't mean not feeling fear, just continuing to do what you have to in spite of it. Jester Iolaus takes off his hat and tells Hercules that in the Labyrinth he looked forward to something. That something was the possibility of going home with Hercules and starting a new life. Hercules tells him that they can't forget the past and that if they are lucky they get second chances. They both jump through the portal.
Disclaimer: If you would like to be a contestant on Wheel of Misfortune, simply send us a postcard and prepare to kiss your bottom goodbye.
Note: from this point on Iolaus will be referred to as "Iolaus" and Jester Iolaus will be referred to as "Iolaus2"
#V0327 (7 February 1999)
Guest Stars: Bruce Campbell
Written by: Gene O'Neill and Noreen Tobin
Directed by: Charles Siebert
Hercules wakes up and is startled to see Iolaus2 there. He thought for a moment it was Iolaus and comments that it's going to take some getting used to.
Iolaus2 was up at the crack of dawn, a habit from having to practice his act for the Sovereign's breakfast. He's made breakfast, looks like an omelette. Hercules tells him that he doesn't have to serve him and offers to make breakfast tomorrow. Hercules is amazed at how good the food is.
Iolaus2 has been thinking that maybe he should leave Hercules. He understands how hard this is for Hercules looking at his face and hearing his voice. Hercules agrees to let him go on two conditions, he wants Iolaus2 to come with him and let him show him something and to Hercules wants to tell him about the Iolaus he knows. He thinks Iolaus2 will find that he and Iolaus are quite different.
Flashback - Hercules wakes Iolaus by using him as a barbell. He leaves Iolaus to do his sit-ups while he goes for his morning run.
Meanwhile the museum in the village is about to close. The guard discovers that the sacred ruby has been stolen.
Hercules runs back into the clearing where Iolaus was sleeping again and pretends to be just finishing his sit-ups. Hercules notices that he's not even sweating. Iolaus admits he went back to sleep but he dreamed about exercising. Hercules brought fruit and nuts for breakfast and Iolaus decides on leftover rabbit.
A man runs into the clearing saying that the sacred ruby has been stolen and if it's not returned by sundown, the panther statue that houses it will come to life and destroy the village. Iolaus wants to go back to sleep now.
Iolaus2 comments that Iolaus wasn't a morning person. Hercules tells him that wasn't the only difference. Iolaus2 comments that Iolaus was a hero and he's just a man who used to have a dream and ended up a jester. Hercules asks about the dream. Iolaus hands him a device. It's a "spark jug" (a big lighter), he invented it for lighting the campfire in the morning. Hercules realizes he's an inventor and suggests that the spark jug should be smaller. Iolaus2 likes that idea and Hercules continues his story.
Hercules tells the guy to go back to the village and tell the people that their gold shipment will arrive on time at noon. The guy leaves. Iolaus comments that isn't Iphithia where Hercules' girlfriend lives and teases him about how Lucreciana has been carrying a torch for Hercules since he saved her. Iolaus thinks that Hercules led her on. Hercules doesn't want to talk about it and reminds Iolaus about how many notches his has in his belt and wonders how his pants stay up.
Hercules takes a bath and explains that the gold shipment ruse is to lure Autolycus out of hiding and that the ruby is cursed. Hercules finishes with his bath and gets out. He asks Iolaus what he's waiting for. Iolaus doesn't want to take a bath, it's too cold. He wants to wait and tells Hercules about his uncle that only bathed once a month and never heard a complaint. Hercules reminds him that the uncle in question was deaf but agrees that Iolaus has the right to stink if he wants to and pushes him in.
Iolaus2 comments that it doesn't sound like they were really friends seeing how they teased each other. Hercules explains that's how they showed they cared, by driving each other crazy, because they spent more time together than apart. Iolaus2 stops at a well and pulls a bucket up, dropping it when he gets a splinter. He pulls out a pair of "glasses" and explains to Hercules that they help him focus but it's hard to hold them to his face all the time. Hercules suggests that he put side pieces on them and comments that they could help lots of people. Iolaus2 thanks him for the suggestion and comments that they make a good team. Hercules agrees. Iolaus2 admits he's now curious about the other Iolaus and asks what they talked about.
Iolaus tells Hercules a joke. Hercules criticizes his joke telling abilities. Iolaus is offended. Hercules apologizes for Iolaus tearing his pants when Hercules pushed him in the river (tore the knee patch) and offers to make him a new pair. Iolaus is surprised that Hercules knows how to sew. Hercules says that his mother taught him. Iolaus asks if Hercules can crochet cause he'd really like an afghan. Hercules tries to use a stick to measure Iolaus' inseam and Iolaus informs him that he's an off the rack kinda guy. Hercules gets frustrated with Iolaus again.
Hercules explains that the panther hunts down the thief and tears him limb from limb. Hercules throws a rock and accurately predicts where it will ricochet before it lands in the water. Then, tells Iolaus it's his turn. Iolaus throws the rock and it bounces off the tree and hits him in the head.
Hercules and Iolaus arrive in Iphithia and Hercules is attacked by several women who are chased off by Lucreciana while Iolaus goes to find Autolycus.
Iolaus finds Autolycus and explains about the curse which Autolycus doesn't believe in. An obelisk next to them is hit by lightning and collapses.
Hercules and Iolaus2 arrive at Falafel's stand. Iolaus2 tries the food (breaded weasel nose) and spits it out. In his world Falafel is a great chef. Hercules tries to explain that this isn't the Iolaus that Falafel thinks it is. Iolaus2 comments that he can probably expect that reaction a lot. Hercules says that it will take time for him and this world to get used to each other. Iolaus2 says it will take longer if he stays with Hercules. Hercules tells him that there were times when Iolaus felt like he was living in Hercules' shadow. Iolaus2 is living in Iolaus' shadow. Hercules says that deep down Iolaus knew that Hercules saw him for who he was and that was enough for both of them. Iolaus2 asks what happened when the obelisk fell.
Autolycus says the lightning was a random act and invites Iolaus to search him. Iolaus finds a string of pearls and some silverware and the key to the city, but no ruby. Iolaus wears the pearls. Hercules arrives and realizes that Autolycus has swallowed it.
Hercules holds Autolycus upside down, Iolaus plays with the pearls (still wearing them) and asks how Hercules got away from Lucreciana. He didn't have to tell her anything, she's engaged and the wedding is this afternoon. They chat about the panther coming to life and Autolycus being a "panther magnet". Autolycus admits he swallowed it and begs Hercules to help him. Hercules buys him a bag of prunes and prepare to wait.
Autolycus tries to give away the prunes while Hercules and Iolaus step over to a stand in the market that is selling musical instruments and both comment that they always wanted to learn to play. Iolaus comments that he's found something Hercules can't do well at last asks to see a lute. Lucreciana runs up and leaps into Hercules ' arms and tells him that she broke it off with her husband to be and drags Hercules off to meet her family.
Iolaus plays with the lute while Autolycus appreciates every tiny thing in life. Hercules shows back up. He was about to set everything right but her whole family was there and she looked so happy. Iolaus makes Hercules repeat "no" and tells him that this time he's not holding the ring.
A father comes and asks Hercules to come visit his sick daughter at the hospital. Autolycus sits with a sick old man while Iolaus gets gruel thrown on him by a boy who wants to see Hercules. Iolaus explains to the child that he used to be a bad boy until Hercules taught him that there's good in everyone. Iolaus and Autolycus leave the hospital and Iolaus finds out that Autolycus has wormed his way into the old man's will. He explains to Autolycus that this curse is a sign and he should reform. Autolycus swears that if he lives through this, he will give up his thieving ways and see the light. Lightning hits the top of a tower on the hospital and starting a fire. They get the sick out. Auto carries the old man out and tells Iolaus he feels the urge.
Hercules asks to see the lute and immediately plays some rock and roll. Iolaus is disgusted. The women chase him through the village.
Iolaus goes looking for Autolycus and finds him in a bush. It was a false alarm. Hercules and Iolaus rig up a net to hold the panther. Lucreciana shows up to get Hercules for the wedding and she ends up caught in the net while the panther comes to life.
Autolycus tries to hide with Lucreciana but the panther can still reach him. Hercules takes the knife out of the back of Iolaus' pants and throws it, cutting the rope holding the net up and catching Lucreciana when she falls out of it. Iolaus barks at it to distract it. Hercules gets Lucreciana to the doorway, tripping over the lute along the way. He realizes the cat likes the music and plays and sings for it, soothing the panther. Iolaus and Autolycus sing as well. a string on the lute breaks, Hercules give Iolaus a look. Iolaus explains that he only paid two dinars for it. Autolycus falls from the net and starts choking. Hercules fights with the cat while Iolaus pounds on Autolycus, finally dislodging the gem which is quickly put back into place and the cat turns back into a statue.
Lucreciana doesn't want to marry Hercules anymore. Autolycus finally feels the effects of the prunes and the ladies who think he's a hero now, who's saved their town. Hercules gives Iolaus the afghan he made for him. Iolaus wraps up in it and asks what's for dinner. Hercules asks why he always has to cook. Iolaus says he's better at it. Hercules thinks he's finally figured Iolaus out. He pretends that Hercules is better at everything so he doesn't have to do anything.
Hercules takes Iolaus2 to Iolaus' grave. Iolaus2 likes the view. Hercules tells him that he and Iolaus used to come to that place to talk about all their dreams and how they all came true. Iolaus2 offers to give Hercules some time there and Hercules says he doesn't need it. Iolaus is at peace and Iolaus2 has been carrying him around since he got here and he should let him rest as well.
Iolaus2 approaches the marker and speaks to it. He tells it that he never thought he'd have a friend like Hercules and knowing about their relationship made him feel out of place and that he knows he can never replace him but he hopes that there's little bit of Iolaus inside him. Hercules and Iolaus2 walk off together.
Disclaimer: Autolycus' intestinal track was well lubricated and consequently, was not harmed or blocked during the production of this episode.
#V0715 (14 February 1999)
Guest Staring: Willa O'Neill, Stuart Devenie, Jay Saussey, Edith Sidebottom as The Widow Twanky
Written By: Andrew Landis and Julia Swift
Directed By: Michael Hurst
Althea is evidently working for the brat from "And Fancy Free", Weena, who is now into clothes design. They are putting on a fashion show for a big reviewer. Althea has been designing her own clothes and apparently has gained an admirer of one of her fellow employees. Weena fires them all after she knocks Althea into the back of the curtain, causing all the models on stage to fall over.
A year later, the ribbon is cut on the annual fashion follies and Althea is disappointed that her name isn't among those selected to show their designs. She receives a citation from the fashion police for wearing a fruit motif on a cloudy day. Hercules takes the ticket and throws it back at them. A fight breaks out. Hercules bats up the fashion police. Her father sent Hercules to find out how Althea is, he hasn't heard from her in awhile. Hercules and Althea decide to put on their own fashion show.
Althea doubts that she is good enough to make it in the big city. Hercules reassures her that she has her own style and that's all that matters. Her friend Titus asks if she's alright and seems quite concerned about her. She introduces Hercules and explains the plan. Titus offers to help. Hercules thinks they needs someone else as well.
They find Twanky's dance studio abandoned. A vagrant (played by Michael Hurst) crawls out from under a wagon and tells them Twanky's been gone awhile.
Weena runs her design studio like a sweat shop. She's afraid that Hercules and Althea will ruin her. Von Verminhaven, Vermie, the head of the big fashion show and Weena's boyfriend, tells her to make Althea her best friend, he has a plan.
Althea shows Titus her new designs and he's not exactly thrilled. Weena arrives and says they are brilliant. She wants to talk and apologize. Weena has everything she wants except for a friend to keep her from getting lonely.
Hercules finds Twanky working in a "dinar-a-dance" tavern. She's fallen on hard times. He thinks she has too much self respect to be here. She says she can't afford self respect and runs over to do a big production number. She's sorry, she can't help him.
Hercules returns to Althea and Titus and tells them that Twanky had to work. They need a stage but before Hercules can get started on that problem, the fashion police arrive and arrest him for wearing leather in the summer. Hercules goes with them peaceably. (Listen to the guy being tortured in the background, sounds like Michael Hurst)
Vermie, the Chief Arbiter of Taste, promises that Hercules will we released as soon as possible. He is ensuring harmony and equality with his dress code and Hercules thinks it's turning people against each other for daring to be different. Hercules tells him if he or his fashion police get in his way again, they'll all be out of fashion faster than they can say "tube top". Hercules leaves.
Weena comes and takes Althea out for the afternoon, leaving Titus to do all the work. Weena takes Althea for a beauty treatment.
Twanky is approached by a sleazy guy with a handful of dance tickets. She beats him up and decides that Hercules was right, she does deserve better than this.
Althea returns wearing conforming clothes and hair, happy that she's fitting in with everyone. Titus leaves because with all her new friends she must not need him anymore. Hercules arrives just as Twanky does. only Twanky arrives on an umbrella, a la Mary Poppins. Hercules asks why she closed her studio down. She says she had a bad review.
The fashion police steal Althea's designs and burn her studio. She goes in after the designs. Hercules rescues her. She just wants to fit in and intends to go see Weena. Hercules points out that Weena's the one who did this. She tells him he doesn't' know what he's talking about.
Weena and Vermie toast their victory as Althea arrives. Weena consoles her and slips up mentioning the fire. Althea realizes that Weena did steal her designs. Althea runs out. Titus finds her. Althea wants to go home. Titus reassures her that she has more talent than Weena and he loves her and he's still got her old designs.
Althea and Titus arrive to find Hercules building the stage. Twanky and Althea trade knowing glances and ask if he's going to have a drink now. He's not thirsty but he does decide to cool off and slowly pours a bucket of water on himself as they admire the rippling muscles. Twanky heads off to loosen her corset.
Althea apologizes to Hercules.
The fashion police tell Vermie that Hercules is still working on the runway for Althea.
Twanky checks out the runway and tells them about her 12th husband who wanted her to stop being a model and have an heir for him. She "cut off his aspirations." She leaps off the runway. A policeman throws a firebomb at the runway. a pillar falls toward Althea. Hercules saves her.
It's the last day of the festival, Hercules tells them the party is where you make it. They all go back to the "dinar-a-dance" tavern and set up their fashion show there using the dancers for models. Twanky handles advertising.
And the show is on. Twanky introduces the "Althea Collection" wearing a long red wig and purple sequined evening gown. Weena and Vermie arrive. Twanky sees him and runs back stage. She can't go back out. He's the one who ruined Twanky. When she spurned his advances, he "sullied" her reputation all over town. Hercules persuades her to go take back her reputation. She does.
The fashion police arrive and Hercules becomes a model and takes on the fashion police again. After he's done, Hercules introduces Althea and Titus gives her flowers. Von Verminhaven tells the crowd that all these people are under arrest for violating the fashion code. Hercules picks him up and tells the crowd that it's ok to have your own opinions and style and that's what Althea reminded them of today. The fashion show continues to "I'm too Sexy."
Disclaimer: Due to increasingly bad taste and a despicable dress code the fashion police were locked up indefinitely upon completion of filming this motion picture.
#V021 (21 February 1999)
Guest Stars: Tamara Gorski, Jeffrey Thomas, Simone Kessell
Teleplay By: Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman
Story by: Stephanie C. Meyer
Directed By: Garth Maxwell
A gravedigger finds a ring in the cemetery just as a woman, Avisha, digs herself out of a grave. She attacks the man who begs her not to kill him and releases him. She kneels by another grave, picks up the rings and remembers the occupant asked her to marry him. She screams in mental agony.
The Oracle and her followers perform a ritual of some sort and the Oracle sees a vision of a perfect soul that has been shattered and returned with a task to complete. She can see no more and believes that means she will die soon.
Hercules and Jason play darts in the tavern. Jason asks about Morrigan. Hercules doesn't want to talk about it.
A follower of the Oracle approaches Hercules and asks him to help them. The Oracle has resigned herself to her fate but her followers have not. Hercules agrees to help and come to Cyprus. He invites Jason to come with him. As they are about to leave, Morrigan enters the tavern. She wants a chance to explain why she did what she did. Hercules has obviously been hurt by whatever it was and doesn't give her the chance. They leave. Jason tells Hercules to take Morrigan with him instead and that the Sad Bachelor Club will still be there when he gets back.
Avisha walks through the woods and finds the tree that her lover carved a heart in with their names on it and then some men came but when she turns it's only the follower of the Oracle. Avisha used to be a priestess of the Oracle as well until the Oracle cursed her and her lover.
Hercules and Morrigan remember the last time they were in Cyprus last fall just after they did away with Dahak. They decide to spend a last day together before Morrigan goes back to Ireland. She tells him she won't let an ocean stand between their feelings.
Avisha approaches the man who killed her and her lover while he's drunk. She promises to make it quick if he tells her where the others are. He cuts her and she heals immediately. She stabs him with the knife he stole from Tereas.
Hercules doesn't' mean to be distant but he doesn't' know what to say. She says he does, he's just too much of a gentleman to say it. That day in Cyprus was one of the best in her life. He agrees it was a good day. They remember entering the town and seeing the sites. They pass a dancer and Morrigan asks if he'd like to dance. He tells her he only dances in emergencies. She heads off to look at some dolls in the market. Avisha asks Hercules for directions and mentions that she's never been out of the city. She'd been a priestess for the Oracle her whole life until she met her lover and decided to follower her heart. Tereas passes by Morrigan and drops the ring, she retrieves it for him. He's about to ask Avisha to marry him.
Morrigan wants to find out what their future holds. Hercules doesn't want to read the last page of the book first. Hercules takes her to an inn where they make love.
That evening Morrigan stands on the balcony listening to the musicians on the street and asks Hercules to marry her. She feels Hercules has done his duty to Greece and it's time for them to let him go. He says yes and when he wakes up the next morning she's gone. A scroll she's left behind explains that a restless night brought visions of an unfulfilled destiny and she knows that she cannot have him.
Avisha finds the rest of the gang. She remembers how happy she was at the moment that Tereas asked her to marry him. The gang attacks and kills them both. She attacks the gang and after knocking them all down, she pours oil all over them.
Hercules and Morrigan come around a tree and Hercules hears the sound of the flames. They rush in just as the men die in the flames. Avisha warns them off and they fight. Morrigan is hit with a dagger in the shoulder. Avisha leaves. Hercules tends Morrigan's wound. He remembers Avisha's face just not where. Morrigan and Hercules finally get a chance to talk about their problem. Hercules explains that the people he loves are taken from him, they never chose to leave him before her. He has wondered what it was about him that caused her to leave. She couldn't love him more and that's why she left. She wanted to make sure she was doing the right thing for both him and Briget. She went to the Oracle. She asked if her daughter and her would find happiness with Hercules. The Oracle says they will come to know joy they have never known before. Then, she asks if Hercules would be happy as well. The Oracle says he will not. In his absence Greece will suffer and he will know but he will stay in Ireland out of loyalty to her and their vows of matrimony and that's why she left. Hercules tells her that it wasn't only her decision to make. She had convinced herself that Greece didn't' need him but forgotten to ask if he needed Greece.
They enter the town. Hercules remembers that they met the woman here in the market. Avisha goes in to see the Oracle. Her priestess who is now guarding the entrance to the path leading to the temple calls for help. Hercules and Morrigan go after Avisha who tries to stop them as they climb the mountain.
Avisha approaches the Oracle. She orders her priestesses away. The Oracle tells Avisha that she had hoped her death would give Avisha peace but sees that Avisha's desire for vengeance is too strong and it will not. The Oracle explains that if she had told them about their fate, they would have spent their time together anticipating death and not celebrating life. Avisha plans to destroy a world that allows innocents to suffer. Hercules and Morrigan run in. They fight. Avisha blocks the door so the Oracle can't leave. Morrigan gets the Oracle to cover while Hercules and Avisha fight. Hercules tells her that he understands. She's taken her vengeance on those who did this to her and now her soul will die a little with every life she takes and he offers her his life to see if she feels any better after she kills him. she almost does then sinks to the floor asking Tereas to forgive her. Tereas' soul appears and takes her with him leaving their ring on the floor.
They help the Oracle from her temple. Hercules asks her if she really wants to give up being a prophet. She tells him that he defied fate in saving her and asks him what place a prophet has in a world of infinite possibilities.
Hercules and Morrigan walk through the city. Morrigan tells him that she's here to ask for a second chance as well as to explain. She tells him that if Greece is where he belongs then so does she. Hercules disagrees. Hercules loves her for choosing his happiness over hers and now he has to do the same thing. They each belong to their people, it's the price they pay for their gifts. He agrees that that day in Cyprus was one of the best in his life. He throws the ring into the musician's hat and asks Morrigan to dance. She asks if she'll ever see him again. He hopes so, he'd hate to think that his dancing scared her away.
Disclaimer: The Oracle affectionately known as "Mrs. Potato Head" was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
#V0724 (21 March 1999)
Guest Stars: Jeffrey Thomas, Ryan Gosling, Susan Brady, Jodie Rimmer, Albert Belz
Written by: Paul Robert Coyle
Directed by: Charlie Haskell
An adult Lilith travels back to the academy to visit her daughter who now attends. Hercules, Jason and Iolaus2 also travel to the academy. In the alternate universe, Cheiron's academy taught the black arts. Hercules makes Iolaus2 repeat that "Change is good." Jason assures him that their Cheiron wasn't like that. They are attacked by guys in black, Iolaus2 runs from them eventually whacking one with his bag and then watching from a safe distance, while Hercules and Jason split up and fight them. Hercules sees a bird-like tattoo on one of them. They recognize the attack pattern as one taught at the academy. Iolaus 2 faints.
They arrive to find the kids training without padding on the weapons. Lilith's daughter tells them after Hercules stops her from hitting Cheiron's son, Tabor, (who didn't inherit the centaur parts) that they won't have padding in the real world. Hercules is greeted by Zylus (Ryan) who Tabor and Lilith's daughter don't appear to like much. Hercules goes to see the headmaster.
He finds the man packing to leave. He doesn't understand the kids anymore and tells Hercules they need a drill sergeant not a teacher. Hercules sees a bruise on the man and asks who did it. The man says it was a wall. Hercules tells him they were attacked and someone just wants them out of the way. The man leaves anyway.
Hercules addresses the cadets. Hercules will act as headmaster until they can find a replacement. Iolaus 2 criticizes his grammar and Hercules makes him an instructor. Jason offers to help as well. Zylus and a few others pledge their loyalty and Hercules puts them to work putting the protective padding back on the training equipment. Iolaus2 asks about the cadets who attacked them. Hercules tells him not to worry, they'll attack again.
Zylus tells Hercules that they are thinking of adding on another wing. Hercules thinks that would be a good project to get everyone working together. Hercules opens the door to the old music room and finds it full of weapons. Zylus tells him that they need to be able to defend the academy. Hercules tells him that they should burn them. They have to learn to use the weapons in their heads.
Jason and Iolaus2 find the really little cadets being trained and Iolaus2 asks if they should be in classes to learn multiplication and reading. They are informed that those classes were discontinued. Jason says they will start them back up and gives Iolaus 2 the job.
Jason finds Hercules trying to talk to Tabor but the kid has a big chip on his shoulder. They admire the statue that they built when they left the academy. Jason mentions Lilith. Hercules asks if she and Jason were as serious as he suspected they were. Jason admits that they went steady and that she was his first love. He tried to talk her out of rejoining her amazon tribe but couldn't. Lilith arrives and sees Iolaus2 and thinks the gang's all there. Jason takes her for a walk to tell her what happened.
Iolaus2 is having a time of it with the little kids. Jason tells Lilith that even though this isn't the same Iolaus they grew up with, they share the same heart. Jason tells her that he tried to find her several times. She tells him that she knew he had a kingdom to run. Seska greets her mother and Lilith introduces her to Jason, her father. Lilith didn't want her daughter growing up with the same identity crisis that she did. Jason tells her that's where her strength came from. Seska had known about Jason since she was little and never asked to see him. If she had, Lilith would have brought her to him.
Iolaus is still having trouble with the kids but he does have them in the classroom now.
Hercules burns the weapons. He thanks Tabor for his help. Tabor asks Hercules why he's really here. Hercules tells him that he was never close to his own father and that Cheiron was there for him. Tabor never got to say goodbye and he regrets it. Hercules tells him about the attack by the cadets and asks for his help.
Jason talks to Seska and she says that she doesn't need a father. Jason doesn't need to be needed, he just wants to be friends. She tells him that he needs better jokes. Jason sees Zylus and a bunch of cadets heading around a corner and follows. Zylus wants to know what Hercules was talking to him about. Jason interrupts before they can hurt Tabor. They others want Hercules and Jason out of the way.
Jason talks to Lilith again and asks if she really had feelings for him. She did, he was her first love and that bonds them. Zylus and the others reiterate their support for what Jason and Hercules are trying to do at the academy while someone doctors Jason's food.
Zylus mentions Jason's former drinking problem in front of Seska. Jason tries to go out for some air but his equilibrium is shot. He passes out in front of the cadets and Hercules.
Jason comes to. Hercules figures that they put henbane in his food. Hercules thinks that it's time to give the cadets a wake up call. He reveals Zylus' tattoo and tells him that he's corrupted everything the Cheiron stood for and expels him and his followers. Zylus tell Hercules that Cheiron was a coward and that academy was nothing before he got there. Zylus and company leave.
Seska drops the staff and Jason picks it up for her. Tabor tells her to give him a chance. She asks why she should. Tabor tells her he'd give anything for another day with his father and she shouldn't waste the gift of a lifetime with hers.
The academy gets back to normal and they begin construction. Jason seems to be making headway with Seska.
Iolaus2 moves on to addition. He finally has enough. Hercules tells him to make learning fun and to remember that he's bigger than they are. He goes back in with his silly hat and sings a song for them about becoming a fool if they don't learn their lessons.
Finding Seska has given Jason a feeling of new purpose in life.
Zylus doesn't' plan on giving up so easily. He captures Tabor. They beat him.
Hercules notices Tabor is missing about the time he staggers back to warn them that Zylus is coming.
Iolaus2 tells the kids about Hercules and the Sovereign. One of Zylus' men find them but Jason saves them and tells Iolaus2 to get them out of there. They head off to play hide and seek. Lilith baits Zylus. Jason heads off to find Seska. Zylus wants Hercules for himself. They all fight. Seska and Jason help each other out.
Iolaus2 and the kids hide in the kitchen and throw food at the escaping bad guys.
Zylus has a really nasty armored weapon thing on his arm but Hercules eventually beats him. Hercules is ready to move on and his oldest friend Jason becomes the new headmaster. Lilith plans on visiting often.
Disclaimer: Support the United Grecian College Fund. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, much like the vacation plans of certain Young Hercules Cast members.
V0720 (April 18, 1999)
Guest Stars: Alexandra Tydings, Angela Dotchin, Meighan Desmond
Written by: Kevin Maynard
Directed by: Rick Jacobson
Hercules tries to teach Iolaus2 how to fight so that he can defend himself. Iolaus2 is wearing an extremely padded suit. Iolaus2 is distracted by a young couple in love and Hercules hits him. Hercules sees a rosebush and tells Aphrodite that she can come out. 'Dite tells Iolaus2 that he has a nice haircut and asks him if he's enjoying their side of the vortex. She doesn't give him time to answer. She tells Hercules that there's a mudslide heading for Tribera. He leaves Iolaus2 in Aphrodite's keeping until he gets back.
Trident wants his daughter Nautica to marry a squid, she' s not interested. Discord visits her and offers to help her out. Discord transforms her fish tail into legs as part of the deal. She will keep the legs until she gets wet.
Aphrodite finds out that Iolaus2 has never been in love and promptly zaps the nearest girl. This is not what Iolaus2 wants. She realizes he's a romantic and wants to fall in love.
The naked Nautica shows up in town looking for a friend and steals some clothes.
A man runs up calling for Iolaus and asks about Hercules. Then proceeds to tell Iolaus2 that he can probably handle the local gang who are running a protection racket. He tries to run off but 'Dite tells him this is his chance to be a hero. He walks into the two bad guys. They proceed to throw him into a food stand. He tells 'Dite that it was his first lesson in fighting that day, so she helps him knock them out as they come running up to him. Nautica sees it all and sets her sights on him. Iolaus2 is upset because he knows he's not a hero.
Discord visits the local warlord, Brutus. Discord plans to keep Nautica on land until sunset when the seas will belong to Discord.
Nautica finds Iolaus2 on the beach and kisses him for being so brave. He tells her that it's not really love because of Aphrodite. He realizes that she's a stranger to the area and she tells him that she's starting a new life, too.
Discord and Aphrodite fight over control of a young couple having an argument.
Nautica and Iolaus stroll through the market and get to know each other. 'Dite visits Iolaus2 and he realizes that 'Dite hadn't had anything to do with his new girlfriend. He's upset because Nautica thinks he's strong and brave and a hero. 'Dite tells him that when the bad guys show back up, he can fight them for real and then he'll be the guy that Nautica thinks he is. He goes to tell Nautica the truth.
Discord sends Brutus out to catch Nautica.
Nautica wants to stay with Iolaus2 forever and get married. He wants to get to know her first. They each admit they are not who the other thinks they are. Brutus arrives. Iolaus2 remembers his first fighting lesson, that the fight is usually won before the first punch is thrown. Brutus steps on his own shoelaces and trips and falls into a mud puddle. Iolaus2 and Nautica escape.
Trident summons Aphrodite and tells her that his daughter has left him. Nautica was given a heart so pure that it warms the seas and if she doesn't return by sunset the waters around Greece will turn to ice. Nautica doesn't know about this. Aphrodite knows her from the village and realizes that Discord is involved and that Nautica is Iolaus2's girlfriend.
Iolaus2 tells Nautica that when he's with her, he is the person he's always wanted to be. Again they are about to have the truth between them and 'Dite shows up.
Discord is not happy about Brutus letting them get away. She sends Brutus back after Nautica.
'Dite explains that Nautica is a mermaid and Iolaus2 doesn't believe her. He upsets her and tells 'Dite that she ought to put some clothes on. She gets mad and leaves, telling Iolaus2 that she hopes they are very happy together when the sea freezes.
Brutus and his men finally succeed in grabbing Nautica.
Iolaus2 searches for Nautica and finds her shell necklace.
Nautica realizes that Discord is not her friend. Discord tells her that the seas will freeze at sunset.
Iolaus2 takes flowers to 'Dite's statue and apologizes. She accepts and they head out to save Iolaus2's girlfriend. Iolaus2 runs in (now sleeveless) to save her and he takes out most of the bad guys by dodging their blows. Aphrodite fights with Discord and stops her from interfering with the mortals fighting. In the fighting water is splashed on Nautica and she transforms back into a mermaid. Iolaus2 gets mad when they laugh at his girlfriend and he really fights them.
Aphrodite tells Discord to leave before she has a chance to tell Poseidon. Iolaus2 and Nautica still love each other and he carries her back to the sea. Aphrodite tells Nautica not to be too hard on her father because he loves her.
Iolaus2 and Nautica say their goodbyes. She gave him something to fight for. He carries her back into the water and she swims home.
Hercules returns to find Iolaus2 sitting on a rock. Hercules asks Iolaus why Aphrodite has been crying. Hercules is confused by the Iolaus that he sees who seems much more confident than when he left.
No fish out of water were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
#V0722 (25 April 1999)
Guest Stars: Tamara Gorski, Neill Rea, Sara Wiseman, Tim Faville
Written by: Gene O'Neill and Noreen Tobin
Directed by: Mark Beesley
Camelot 500 AD is a burning and bloody battleground where the wounded are slaughtered. Arthur's men have taken the castle and killed it's king. They enter a room and find Excalibur in it's stone. Merlin warns him that no weapon can make Arthur a leader. Arthur replies that Excalibur will stop the beating of his heart. The woman with Arthur, Mab, tells Merlin that he is powerless to stop them. She is protecting Arthur now. Merlin's been teaching her but he thinks he still has a few tricks up his sleeve. Arthur grabs the hilt of the sword and it beings to glow and the glow envelopes Arthur. Merlin tells him that he is sending Arthur to someone who can stop him. Mab grabs Arthur and is transported with him.
"A thousand winters before Camelot", Arthur and Mab reappear in a room full of rough looking men. Arthur challenges their leader to a battle of wits. Arthur will fight blindfolded and make the first blow. Arthur kills him. The other men swear allegiance to Arthur.
Hercules is helping to rebuild a school when a man comes up and politely asks him to come help, people in trouble. The man intends to take him to Britannia, the young man is Merlin.
Hercules travels to Britannia. He refuses to pay the tax for entering the country and punches the guy. Morrigan is also in Britannia to stop Arthur. She doesn't want him to have to come to her in Eire. Hercules introduces Merlin. Merlin has a vision of all of Britannia bowing to Arthur as if he were their hero.
One of Arthur's men brings him the liver of the last king in Britannia to oppose him. Mab thinks that Arthur is wasting his time conquering this world of the past. She also remembers that Merlin must be alive in this world. Arthur orders Merlin brought to him. If they can kill Merlin now, he won't be alive in the future to send them back. Mab agrees but they need something first.
The people of the village seem to be in turmoil. Hercules catches a thief and suggests that the baker could trade room and board for the boy to work for him and pay him in bread instead of money. The boy's parents are in jail for not being able to pay their taxes, both agree.
Morrigan wants to kill Arthur for what he's done to his people. Hercules thinks they should try to make Arthur's dream a reality if they don't, they could be robbing the future of a great leader.
Arthur and Mab go to the lake and Arthur summons the guardian of Excalibur. The sword rises from the lake along with it's guardian. She doesn't believe he is Arthur. He shows her the mark on his neck and she tells him it is her duty to give him the sword and may he use it in righteousness and defense of the innocent. She throws it to him.
Hercules' plan is to go to the castle. They run into a band of Arthur's soldiers looking for Merlin. Morrigan and Hercules fight off the soldiers. Merlin sees Mab and Arthur on the hilltop and they recognize each other. Arthur prepares to kill Merlin. Hercules knocks Excalibur out of his hand and catches it out of the air. Mab zaps Morrigan with a ball of power. She zaps Merlin and he blocks the bolt. Mab grabs Merlin and Hercules holds Excalibur to Arthur's throat. Mab tells him to put the sword down or she will kill Merlin. Hercules calls her bluff and tells her that she doesn't have the power to kill him as long as he holds the sword. Mab takes Merlin and vanishes.
Hercules has figured out from the earlier conversation that Arthur is from the future or he wouldn't have called Merlin his old friend. Hercules points out to Arthur that Mab seemed more interested in getting the sword than in saving his life.
Mab wants Arthur to send her back to the future but he can't because he hasn't learned that yet.
Morrigan is still in favor of killing Arthur. Hercules is not.
Mab thinks that if she uses Excalibur to kill Merlin she will be whisked back to her own time. She tells him that they are sorcerers and that the world ought to belong to them. She tells him that he wasted his life advising others instead of ruling the world. She thinks that Merlin did a good job raising Arthur but there were some lessons only a woman could teach. She tries to drop a chandelier on him but Merlin stops it, again without knowing how.
Hercules and Arthur argue philosophies of leadership. They run into a squad of Arthur's men collecting money to cross a bridge. Arthur identifies himself while Hercules makes motions that he's been drinking to the soldier. Arthur is not believed and demands that they arrest Hercules and Morrigan. His men beat him for impersonating the king. Morrigan wants to let them finish him off. Hercules uses Excalibur to stop one of their swords in midair. Every sword Excalibur touches breaks. Hercules knocks them all out and explains to Arthur that a real leader doesn't need a crown to be recognized.
Hercules heads out after the four soldiers who ran away to stop them from bringing reinforcements. Morrigan is left with Arthur and does a little threatening of her own.
Hercules uses Excalibur as a golf club and drives a rock toward the men on the next hill. They are all knocked unconscious.
Morrigan threatens to kill Arthur he calls her bluff and she slams the dagger into the ground next to his head. She walks away. Arthur asks Hercules when she lost her backbone. Hercules tells him that she didn't lose it, she found it.
Hercules takes her dagger back to her. She's doubting that she can be the Guardian of Justice when she can't do what's necessary. He convinces her that she did do the right thing.
They return to Arthur. Hercules gives Excalibur back to Arthur and tells him that if he can get past Hercules he will be free to go. Hercules fights Arthur without really touching him, just avoiding him. Hercules tells him that real strength comes from leadership not the other way around.
Hercules, Morrigan and Arthur go to the castle where Mab is. Hercules enters the room alone and frees Arthur. Mab confronts him. Hercules by telling her that he's killed Arthur, gets her to admit that she cares nothing for Arthur and was just using him. Arthur heard and enters. She throws another fireball at Hercules who deflects it back at her with Excalibur. She is apparently sealed in a block of ice. They leave. Her eyes glow.
They walk through town and the earth begins to shake. A giant begins kicking down the buildings. Mab reappears. Merlin faints, Hercules orders Arthur to get him somewhere safe. Hercules approaches the giant. They fight with their swords. Merlin gets mad and sends a fire ball at Mab who is thrown through a wall. Her weakness gives Hercules the upper hand.
Arthur saves the boy from the bakery. Hercules loses the sword and Arthur grabs it and calls the giant his direction. Hercules uses the giant's shield to chop the giant's head off. The giant falls on Mab.
The group discusses how Arthur could be returned to his own time. Hercules asks him what he was doing when he was sent here. Arthur said that he was about to pull the sword from a stone where the throne is. Hercules knocks away all but the stone seat of the throne and drives Excalibur into it. Arthur thanks Hercules for teaching him the difference between respect and fear. Morrigan give him her dagger. He thanks her for sparing his life. He thanks Merlin and takes the hilt of the sword and is transported home.
Arthur and Merlin welcome each other home.
Morrigan and Hercules say their goodbyes on the dock where she's getting on a ship bound for Eire. They kiss after admitting the more time they spend together the harder the goodbyes are. Hercules and Merlin head off to have tea.
Disclaimer: Many giant steps were taken during the production of this motion picture. However, none for mankind.
#V0723 (2 May 1999)
Guest Stars: Meighan Desmond, Joel Tobeck, Kevin Smith
Written By: Gerry Conway
Directed By: Charles Siebert
Sunrise, Hercules is sleeping by the smoldering fire and is woken up by the sounds of Iolaus2 exercising and doing acrobatics. Hercules is surprised to see him so cheery. Iolaus2 has made waffles for breakfast. He waffled on what to call them so that's what he called them. He thanks Hercules because he's really enjoying his life here. Iolaus2 wants to thank him. Hercules tells him to keep making waffles for him and they'll call it even. Someone yells for help.
Discord pops in and startled Deimos (God of Terror) who is on a mission for Ares. Ares arrives and confirms it. He tells Discord that he was just trying out Deimos to see if he'd make an adequate replacement for Strife. He even comments on how much the two of them look alike. Discord thinks her position as Ares' second in command is threatened. She and Deimos argue and squabble. Ares knocks them away and leaves them to work it out or he will.
Hercules and Iolaus2 arrive in the nearby village to find a girl running from a lynch mob of villagers. The girl falls from a pile of stuff he was climbing on and Hercules shoves a wagon at the villagers to disperse the mob. Hercules and Iolaus2 roll the girl over to find that there is no one in the cloak. The person is invisible.
Hercules and Iolaus2 carry the girl through the devastated village. They find a building with a large red "X" painted on the outside and they enter to find a whole bunch of similarly cloaked people. Iolaus2 tends to the girl while Hercules talks to a woman who is transparent. She tells him that it started after the harvest and people just fade away to nothing. They hear the villagers again. Hercules says he'll talk to them and sends Iolaus2 to the village storehouse to check the crops to see if he can find anything that might have caused this.
Discord notices that Deimos is worried about something and wants to know what's going on so she can help him not look like an incompetent in front of Ares. Deimos says that he set a trap for Hercules and Iolaus2 is about to ruin it. Discord agrees to help.
The villagers meet and declare that the faders must die before their condition spreads to them all. Hercules disagrees and tells them so. The villagers ask what they should do. Hercules tells them to clean up the village. An old man rallies the mob again by declaring that death is what they are speaking of and they fear it even if Hercules does not. If they go against the gods, they will suffer. The villagers again climb the pile of stuff intending to kill the faders. Hercules knocks down the pile and picks up the old man who turns into Deimos. Hercules had recognized his laugh. Hercules demands to know why these people are fading and takes him somewhere they can talk.
Iolaus2 enters the storehouse. He doesn't know what he's looking for. He finds a girl hiding in the hay. Leche has been hiding from all the crazy people. Iolaus2 continues looking and finds a glowing, pulsing eye hidden in a basket of potatoes. It seems to have contaminated the food. They decide they shouldn't touch it.
Hercules takes Deimos back to the refuge of the faders and demands that he stop this. He can't without the rock. Iolaus2 walks in with the rock in a little basket. Hercules identifies it as the Rock of Arges. It belonged to a cyclops who with his brothers rebelled against the gods and Zeus turned their eyes to stone. When they died, they cursed their stone eyes, that "those with sight would be taken from sight." Iolaus2 asks what they are going to do now. Hercules says smash the rock and break the curse. But whoever breaks the rock causes the curse to fall on them. If he doesn't the villagers will all fade away. Hercules looks at the villagers and smashes the rock on the floor. The villagers all reappear. Leche turns into Discord. Hercules begins to become transparent.
Hercules cracks a joke about being able to sneak into a theater without paying for tickets and Iolaus2 is appalled that he can joke. Hercules has an idea. He smashes a vase and if he concentrates he can stay visible but he can't keep that up forever. Rhea confirms that her husband, the first afflicted, got his crops from around the stone quarry. That's the quarry where the cyclop's were buried. So they head out to find the other two eyes and maybe the stone that will take the curse off Hercules.
Ares is thrilled to hear that Hercules will have faded away by the end of the day. Ares names Deimos as his new number 2. Discord is angry about being slighted. She shows Ares that Hercules is still helping the villagers. He demands that Deimos go find out what went wrong and fix it.
The old man (Deimos) starts stirring up the villagers again. He tells them if Hercules and his friend find the other eyes that the whole world will fade away. The villagers agree even if they have to kill Hercules.
Hercules and Iolaus2 head for the quarry. Hercules is sweating with the effort of holding himself together. Iolaus2 is babbling. Hercules stops him and tells him that in the other world Iolaus2 perceived himself to be a Jester and that's what he was. Hercules saw him as a hero who didn't know it yet and once he believed it that's what he became. Hercules fades again completely away this time. Iolaus2 tries not to panic. Then, a bunch of angry villagers arrive in the clearing. They want to know where Hercules is. Iolaus2 suggests they all go look for him. the invisible Hercules beats them up. He tells Iolaus 2 that he's invisible and Iolaus2 faints. Hercules carries him off, still invisible and tells him he's been eating too many waffles.
Discord has Deimos tied up and hanging upside down. (How did I just know she was into bondage...) She zaps him to demonstrate that every argument has two sides. He both agrees and disagrees with himself and she leaves him there like that.
Hercules drops Iolaus2 in the grass by a pond and slaps him to wake him up. He asks about his head. He got a bump when he fell. Iolaus2 says he's ok. Hercules carries a log over and presumably sits down. He's afraid that he may not get out of this one. Discord watches from the trees. Iolaus2 tells him that he's the one whose supposed to be negative. They hear Discord and Hercules whispers to Iolaus2 to continue talking like he's still there while Hercules checks it out.
Hercules pulls her out into the clearing. Iolaus2 is still mad at Discord about Nautica and flat tells her that they loved each other and she ruined everything. Hercules stops him from laying hands on her. She tells him that she did him a favor by giving her legs in the first place. She informs Hercules that they have a common enemy this time around. Hercules asks what she's offering. She knows where the stones come from. Hercules knows that already but takes her with them anyway to keep an eye on her.
Deimos is still hanging from his tree arguing with himself.
Iolaus2 fusses at Discord for being negative instead of a team player and she informs him that she's been kidnapped. Hercules has heard enough from them.
Ares arrives and zaps Deimos, dropping him on his head. He shows Deimos what happened with the villagers. He's not happy. Deimos tells him that it takes time to fade away and Hercules has the strength of a half god. Deimos promises to "suck the clown's brains out" so that he can't help Hercules any more. Then the problem will be solved. Ares agrees.
They arrive at the quarry. Iolaus2 and Discord are still fussing at each other.
The villagers are heading for home. The old man still taunts him with the threat of becoming a ghost. Deimos tells Ares that he's back on the road to success. Deimos finally understands mortal man but women are still a mystery. Ares explains that the secret to understanding women is that they don't actually need men and the males can't let them find this out so women shouldn't be allowed to use tools or take out the garbage or open their own doors. (I don't think I wanna give up tools but I'd be happy to be ignorant about garbage and doors...) Ares tells him if the secret gets out, he'll know who told.
They search the rocks and Discord is the most negative person Iolaus2 has ever met. She insists that she's being a realist. Hercules shows up with the other two eyes. They have to find someone to take on the curse for Hercules. The villagers start a rock fall. They narrowly escape it.
Discord wants one of the eyes and Hercules is reluctant to give it to her. She assures him that she really wants to defeat Deimos worse. So, he gives it to her. She pops out. Hercules tells Iolaus2 that you can always trust a god to do what's in their own best interest and he only needs one of the stones. He tells Iolaus2 to wait. The rocks fall again and Iolaus2 takes refuge closer to the wall to find Ares waiting for him.
Discord hands Deimos the eye and then causes him to drop it into the quarry. It smashes and restores Hercules. Then, Deimos grabs Discord and the curse falls on both of them.
Hercules comes up behind the villagers and asks if they can see him before he knocks them out. Iolaus2 calls for Hercules. Ares has him by the throat. Ares wants the stone eye. Hercules and Ares fight. Ares throws rocks at Hercules who hits them with a big wooden beam. Iolaus2 throws the stone eye to him. Hercules tries to stop him but Ares throws it and Hercules ducks. The eye smashes up against the wall of the quarry and Ares fades away. Discord returns. She thinks that it's kewl there's an opening in the War God department. Deimos end sup hanging upside down in Ares' temple arguing with himself.
Hercules and Iolaus2 leave the quarry and Hercules points out to Iolaus2 that he still acted like a hero even when Hercules wasn't around. Iolaus2 says he was taught by the best.
Disclaimer: No gods or other deities were killed during the production of this motion picture. They just faded away.
#V0727 (9 May 1999)
Guest Stars: Alexandra Tydings, Angela Dotchin, Patrick Wilson, Sam Sorbo
Written By: Gerry Conway
Directed by: Andrew Merrifield
Hercules and Iolaus2 are fishing. Iolaus2 has a nibble but is off in daydreamland thinking about Nautica. He ends up dropping the pole and losing the fish. Hercules guesses who he's thinking about. They have returned to the village where Iolaus2 met Nautica. They are interrupted by a fight on the dock behind them. A bunch of sailors are looking for a fight. Iolaus2 and Hercules given them one. Their captain comes and stops the fight by chewing out his men. The captain is here for his wedding and wants to celebrate. He brings out his wife-to-be and she's Nautica.
Iolaus2 runs up the gangplank and tries to see her but Captain Lysocka stops him. Hercules pulls him off the ship before any trouble can start. Hercules guesses that there must be a explanation for this and bets that 'Dite can do the explaining. They go into an storage building or barn and 'Dite appears. She's so sorry for poor Iolaus2 and what he must be going through. 'Dite has been crying for days over Nautica and Lysocka.
The sirens called 'Dite to Triton's cave where Nautica asked her for legs because she's getting married. 'Dite thought that she was talking about marrying Iolaus2 but it was Lysocka. 'Dite talked to Poseidon and he arranged that the seas would not freeze without Nautica. Triton hasn't been around for any of the wedding business, so Hercules heads out to find Triton and leaves Iolaus2 and 'Dite to stall the wedding.
'Dite helps Iolaus2 to sneak onboard the ship disguised as a chubby sailor with a huge fish so he can see Nautica.
Hercules walks down a path and finds 3 men harassing a cloaked figure. He fights them off. He unwraps the cloak and finds Serena. Hercules brings her some water amid brief flashback scenes to previous episodes. (scenes from "End of the Beginning" reshot now with Sam) They introduce themselves to each other. He admits that she reminds him of someone he once knew. Hercules asks what she's doing so far from home. She explains that her husband was lost at sea 2 moons ago and an oracle told her that he's still alive and that she should petition Triton for his return. Hercules invites her to travel with him as he's also on his way to see Triton.
Iolaus2 tells 'Dite that he can handle it and she pops out in a huff. He proceeds to Nautica's room below decks. They fall kissing to the bed and proclaim their love for each other. He suggests that they go over the side and swim to shore but she can't go with him. They are interrupted before she can explain. Lysocka knocks on the door. Iolaus2 has to hurry and apologize to 'Dite who turns him into a woman. Iolaus2 pretends to be her seamstress here to make the wedding dress. Nautica takes him out of the room telling Iolaus2 to go home. 'Dite reappears and tells Iolaus2 to let her handle it.
Hercules watches as Serena puts flowers on Triton's alter and prays for her husband's return. 'Dite appears, she remarks that the girl looks familiar. Hercules explains about his other life (more flashbacks). 'Dite tells him to stop making her cry. She asks if Serena knows about this other life and Hercules replies no and that she won't know. 'Dite takes Hercules down to Triton's cave.
Lysocka orders the priest to come and he'll be here by sundown. Nautica is repulsed by him. He orders food and Iolaus2, now in disguise as a French chef, appears with a cart of food. He indicates through his description of the food that he's there to save Nautica and she quietly indicates no. Iolaus2 ends up nearly hitting Lysocka with his knife.
Hercules and 'Dite find Triton dying alone in his cave. His power comes from his trident and it was stolen by a mortal half a moon ago. Nautica thinks that if she gives him what he wants he will return the trident but that will do no good as the power is lost in mortal hands and the trident is not useless. Nautica doesn't know this. If the seas die with Triton, mankind won't survive either. Hercules says he'll ask the Cabiri to make Triton another trident. 'Dite warns him that the gods don't even ask the Cabiri for anything and that she is like a force of nature. Hercules assures her that the Cabiri will talk to him.
They both reappear on the surface. 'Dite tells him not to break his heart. He nods and moves toward Serena. Hercules suggests that they go to see the Cabiri and get Triton to answer Serena's prayer. She asks why he's being so nice to her. He explains that the person she reminds him of was someone he loved very much and fate was against them being together.
Iolaus2 is trying to pick the lock of his cell when 'Dite pops in. She explains why Nautica won't let him help her.
Hercules explains that the Cabiri is an ally of Hephaestus but he doesn't know where she comes from. Serena has the feeling that she used to really know Hercules. He tells her that he feels the same way. Lightning strikes near them and they roll down a hillside. They kiss at the bottom. (more flashbacks) Hercules apologizes for kissing her and suggests that he go the rest of the way alone. She agrees to wait there.
A storm blows up, Hercules finds 'Dite there and she tells him Iolaus2 will stall the wedding. The two of them head for the Cabiri's temple.
Nautica arrives for her wedding and makes Lysocka again promise to return her father's trident. Iolaus2 is now disguised as the priest. He whispers about the trident not being of any use anymore and she should follow his lead. He begins the ceremony. Nautica has a few questions to ask the priest alone and they head off. Lysocka orders his men to give chase. Iolaus2 fights them off valiantly but they are captured. Lysocka rips off the disguise and orders Iolaus2 to be "strung up". Nautica proclaims that if they kill him, they have to kill her as well because he is the man she loves. Lysocka thought she really loved him. She tells him if he really loves her that he will let them be together. Lysocka agrees and orders them both hung.
Hercules and 'Dite enter the temple. Hercules knocks down a pillar or two to get the spirit's attention. He continues to knock down pillars until the Cabiri talks to him. 'Dite questions his motives. The Cabiri appears and already knows what Hercules wants. Hercules and 'Dite tells the spirit that if it won't act for mankind to act in the name of love. the Cabiri questions Hercules that it would be better if Serena's husband never returns then Hercules could have her. He says that it was bargain he made with fate, his heart for her life. the Cabiri agrees and a new trident appears. 'Dite will take it to him and tell him to make sure that Serena's husband returns. 'Dite tells him to talk to her and tell her what she means to him. Hercules agrees.
Hercules returns to Serena and tells her to return home and she'll find her husband waiting her her. She thanks him and they say goodbye. He watches her leave.
Iolaus2 and Nautica are tied and about to be hung. They are happy to be dying together. Iolaus2 asks Nautica to marry him. They kiss as Lysocka orders his men to hoist them off the barrel they are precariously standing on. Hercules arrives apologizing for being late. He beats up the sailors.
Nautica doesn't want to leave Iolaus2. He can't let her stay. Hercules whispers something to 'Dite. Hercules asks Iolaus2 how much he loves Nautica. Iolaus2 says he'll give up the world for her. That's what Hercules wanted to hear.
On the beach Iolaus2 tells Hercules that these last few months have meant more to him than his whole life in the other world. Hercules is the best friend he's ever had. Hercules tells Iolaus2 that he will miss him and he'll see him around and to take care of Nautica. He's a lucky man. Iolaus2 assures him that he will and he agrees he is lucky.
Nautica hugs Hercules and Iolaus2 asks 'Dite if he's sure this will work. She says once he's away from the shore he'll be halfway through the change. Iolaus2 takes off his tunic but he doesn't look too sure. 'Dite tells him to trust her. He hates it when she says that. They walk toward the water. 'Dite zaps them both. They turn to wave and then run into the water where they both surface with tails. 'Dite comments that it's hard to say goodbye. Hercules agrees that it gets harder every time.
Disclaimer: No floundering fish were filleted during the production of this motion picture.
#V0726 (16 May 1999)
Guest Stars: Charles Mesure, Kevin Smith
Written By: George Strayton and Tom O'Neill
Directed By: Bruce Campbell
Previously on Hercules: Iolaus is taken into the light.
Hercules dreams of a coming storm and the arrival of the four horsemen. He wakes to find a little girl demanding his help. Hercules chalks the dream up to "stewed possum".
The villagers are about to sacrifice the girl's sister to Ares in return for winning the upcoming war. Hercules stops the axe man's blade and freed the virgin. Hercules tells them that if they really want to save lives they should sit down with their enemy and work out a peace they can all live with. He also tells them they can buy Ares' good grace because he doesn't' have any.
Hercules hears Iolaus' voice coming from a fountain and goes to investigate. Iolaus asks for help and warns him of the end of the world and then vanishes to bubbles. Again, Hercules chalks it up to the possum stew.
Hercules walks with the two sisters. The older one has been raising the younger one since she was born. Hercules bids them goodbye and be safe. Ares appears as they walk away. Hercules tells him that he thought Ares has outgrown virgin sacrifices. Ares replies that he's just a kid at heart. Ares tells him that the mortals have been irritable lately and that he has had to do nothing to encourage this. The mortals have started up this war business all on their own. Ares is so proud. Hercules tells him to enjoy it while it lasts cause he's about to stop it.
A figure in white (Archangel Michael) appears.
Hercules continues through the village. Falafel calls him over and tries to sell him a fun mirror. Hercules has a war to stop first. Food rationing has forced Falafel to give up his stand. Falafel makes him try a couple of the mirrors. The second mirror holds a vision of Iolaus who tells him the Peloponnesian Plains and he has no time. Falafel asks him what's wrong. Hercules has to go.
Michael picks a tablet off the ground and continues speaking in Latin as he has been each time we've seen him. He throws the tablet and breaks it. One of the horsemen appears. The horseman fires an arrow.
The two armies face each other. Their leaders approach the center of the battlefield. The two kings both agree that their people are clamoring for war and that they as kings must do what's right even if it's not popular. They agree to meet at sundown to talk peace. The two sides ask themselves if they can trust each other. The horseman's arrow hits one of the kings and it is assumed that it came from the other side. The battle begins. Ares appears and cheers them all on.
Hercules investigates the body-strewn battlefield. He hears Iolaus again calling him from the trees. Hercules finds a puddle. Iolaus tells him it's going to get worse and asks for his help. Iolaus' hand appears at the surface of the puddle. Hercules knows he's not imagining that. He kneels and takes the hand. It becomes solid when he touches it and he pulls Iolaus from the puddle with a jerk that knocks them down. Iolaus says, "Hi buddy."
Hercules pushes Iolaus off him in disbelief asking who he is Iolaus moves toward him and Hercules sidesteps him. He doesn't want Iolaus to touch him. Iolaus assures him that he's really Iolaus. Hercules looks at him still uncertain but Iolaus insists that he's back and Hercules finally decides that Iolaus is real. Hercules hugs him, picking him clear up off the ground. Hercules wants to know how. Iolaus tells him that He's not gonna try to kill him (he makes possessed gurgling noises) and says that he's not here completely but he's here. Hercules says that it's good to see him even if he is still hallucinating. They clasp hands. Hercules again asks how. Iolaus sits him down and explains that living in the perfect light is bliss and he didn't know there was so much more to the world beyond the mortal one. Then, Hercules realizes that if Iolaus is here then there must be trouble.
(Iolaus is wearing two earrings and half the medallion just in case anyone is interested.)
Iolaus tells Hercules that there's something he better see and takes him to the hillside where the broken tablet is. Iolaus tells him that it's one of the four seals. The light has guardians. Iolaus is one of the guardians now. When the light decided to have more than the original four guardians, the first four turned against the light. These four carry the plagues of Armageddon. War, pestilence, famine and death. The light had them all imprisoned but another guardian of the light is releasing them each time he breaks a seal. If all four are released then they'll have enough power to destroy mankind.
Iolaus and Hercules track the hoof prints. Ares appears and asks Iolaus if he's dead. Iolaus acts like he's being strangled. Hercules tells Ares to go be annoying somewhere else. Ares doesn't know what's going on but he loves it and zaps a cow to prove it. (bad pun warning here, that you have to find out for yourself. I have to leave something to your imagination [G]) Ares calls Hercules a hypocrite. Ares has nothing to do with what's going on and now it's Hercules who's interfering. Hercules tells him that the world's about to end and he doesn't have time for this conversation. Ares thinks they are bluffing. Hercules and Iolaus walk off.
Michael sends the horseman off to deal with their company.
Iolaus asks if Hercules really forgave him for the Dahak business. Hercules assure him that he did and it wasn't his fault. Iolaus explains that when this is all over he'll have to go back. He went AWOL to help Hercules. It's only a matter of time before they figure out that he's gone. They are not supposed to interfere. Iolaus wishes he could stay. He misses the fishing trips and the women and the monsters to fight. Hercules admits it hasn't been the same on earth without him either. The horseman arrives. They take cover from his swinging axe. Hercules asks if Iolaus is sure he missed this. Iolaus says yes. To distract the horseman, he throws Iolaus into the air and then punches the horseman who is thrown from his horse but he springs right back up. Hercules punches him. He draws his sword which he embeds in a tree. Hercules kicks him down, takes the sword and stabs him with it. The horseman disappears. Hercules and Iolaus continue down the path.
The second seal is retrieved from a puddle and broken. He throws a spear and the crops in the field all die. The first horseman reappears. Hercules and Iolaus find the field and realize that Famine has been released.
Hercules and Iolaus break up a near riot in the village over a cart of food. Hercules explains to the people that they have to take care of each other. Iolaus hands the two sisters a basket of food and Hercules tells them to stay indoors and be careful.
Hercules asks why Michael, a guardian, would be sent here. Iolaus explains that the light sent him here because it's not happy with that's going on down here. Too much bad stuff and maybe we ought to start over. Hercules asks which side Iolaus is on. Iolaus reminds him that he came to warn him.
Ares appears and his mad. The starving don't make good soldiers. Ares wants to know who's responsible. After they get over their shock at Ares asking for their help, Iolaus tells him he can't miss Michael. Hercules doesn't want Ares' help. Ares is appalled, after all, he is the God of War.
Michael retrieves the third seal as Ares with two warlords appear. Michael orders them destroyed. The two warlords are reduced to dust immediately. Ares throws a fireball at them and it is deflected right back at him by War, knocking him out. The tablet is broken and Pestilence appears. He breathes a swarm of bees who take off across the countryside and attack the village.
Hercules and Iolaus are running now. They see the flash of battle on the horizon and know it's Ares.
Ares throws an axe at Michael who catches it. The three horsemen zap Ares and all is quiet when Hercules and Iolaus arrive. Ares lands smoking at their feet and passes out. Michael tells them they are interfering in something they does not concern them and they cannot stop it. He tells Iolaus that he has violated the trust by warning a mortal of the reckoning and he will atone. Iolaus hates atoning. Hercules explains that he's only half mortal. Michael explains that mankind has wasted it's gifts and rejected the light. It is time to purify the world. Hercules will not allow them to punish everyone for the crimes of a few. Michael assures Hercules that even his strength cannot stop them and that his place in the light is being held for him but if he continues to fight this he will be banished into darkness. Hercules asks Iolaus if that was a threat or a bribe. Iolaus says it's both. Hercules tells Michael that his place is among people and he doesn't want to be a part of anything that doesn't understand how important people are. Michael tells him that his faith is misplaced. Hercules disagrees and is willing to die for his faith. Michael tells him that he will.
Ares comes to wanting to hurt somebody. Hercules tells him to go home. Ares tells Hercules that he cant' defeat Michael without him. Hercules asks Ares what he has to offer. Hercules will work with Ares only if he agrees to work together. Ares is not a team player but he doesn't want the world to end any more than Hercules does. Ares agrees to do whatever he has to. Iolaus tells them that Michael is headed for the last seal. They figure out that Death was imprisoned in fire and head for the nearest volcano.
Michael senses the approach of Hercules and sends the three horsemen to destroy him while he retrieves the seal. Ares and Iolaus meet the horsemen. Ares throws a fireball at War who catches it and crumbles it. Ares and Iolaus turn and run with the three horsemen on their tails.
Michael retrieves the tablet. Hercules tries to take it from him and is thrown when he touches it. The seal lands on the ground unbroken. Michael tells Hercules that this will affect his destiny. Hercules says he wouldn't have it any other way and leaps at Michael who stops him in midair nearly throwing him into a river of lava.
Iolaus and Ares continue to run. They hide behind a rock. They are trying to buy Hercules more time. The horsemen blast the rock and then turn back and ride away. Iolaus and Ares run to catch them.
Michael tells Hercules that mankind has made it's decision. Hercules states that he's part of mankind and he never made this choice. Hercules throws a boulder which Michael stop easily and tosses back at him. Michael picks up Hercules and drops him. Hercules thinks he's out of his league. Iolaus and Ares arrive Iolaus helps him up off the ground. The horsemen also arrive. Michael breaks the seal and Death appears.
The sun is eclipsed. Michael orders him to start with the traitor. Iolaus starts backing up as Death rides toward him. Hercules says it'll be over his dead body and leaps at Death, they both fall from the horse and roll on the ground. They roll off the cliff and both fall into the lava.
Everything goes white and Hercules finds himself in a temple. Michael sits on a throne and tells Hercules that his challenge has been successful. "According to the law of the light, if one man is willing to sacrifice himself then there is hope for all humanity." It was all a test. Hercules tells him that Iolaus risked his soul to warn him and asks what that means to the light. Michael says that the point is well taken. He waves his hand and Iolaus appears.
Michael explains that beyond Hercules' sacrifice, it was their friendship that renewed the light's faith in humanity. Michael tells Hercules that he would like to have him added to their ranks, he would better serve the light by returning to earth as a living example and Iolaus for betraying the light is condemned to be banished from the light to continue his life at Hercules' side. In the end he will be judged a second time. Hercules thanks Michael.
Hercules and Iolaus find themselves back in the village. Iolaus can't believe that Hercules brought him back. Hercules says that he didn't do anything and not to blame him. Iolaus proceeds to dance around yelling, "I'm back!" Hercules stops him, he's scaring people.
Ares appears and beats around the bush at thanking Hercules. He says he's glad none of his toys got broken. Hercules thanks Ares for keeping his word for once. Ares tells him that this changes nothing and he's still the king of combat. Ares pops out.
The two sisters bring Hercules and Iolaus a basket of food for the road. Iolaus grabs an apple and realizes he'd forgotten how to be hungry. Hercules hands him the basket. Iolaus asks where they are going now. Hercules will go anywhere Iolaus wants to go. He wants to go to Thrace. He takes another piece of fruit and hands the basket to a woman telling her that he's got enough and introduces himself. He nearly knocks over a barrel of something at a stand and tells everyone around that it's ok, he's new to the place. Hercules comments that he can't take Iolaus anywhere.
Disclaimer: Iolaus got a new lease on life during the production of this motion picture.
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